Why do the ones we love the most, hurt us on purpose, and then expect us to believe they'd ever loved us at all?

Here is my take, and I hope you don't get offended: What we love sometimes isn't what we think it is. Without devoting ourselves fully we can NEVER get back what we invest. So, in hindsight, while it may seem unfair, it is life and it is the only way we can truly find out if that person is for us.

I have never been one to lay responsibility down for having feelings. If someone hurt me then it is life and we move on. I am only as good as I push myself to be and only as depressed as I let myself be.

When life gives you lemons, just say screw the lemons and bail.

I don't think that people hurt the ones they love on purpose.
It does happen, primarily when you are with a partner that is so self involved that your feelings are of no consequence.
Not all partners are like that.

Because in their own way, they did love us just expressed it the wrong way. Even though my exes cheated on me, I still believe they did love me, just made some poor decisions that led me to the life I have now, which is better and more experienced for going through those rough patches.

I think there are quite a few people out there who don't know HOW to love sad as it sounds.

I have only ever loved on person and she has yet to hurt me on accident or on purpose. I am very lucky!

I do think they hurt us on purpose. Self involved is correct. My ex used to ask me to come over. I'd get there and he'd be at the bar. I finally asked him one day if he was going to be home when I got there. I told him that I didn't enjoy being the "house sitter". He stated that he's always there when I get there. But in reality I'd get there around 7:30 and he'd show up around 9:00. This became a pretty big argument. He insisted that he was always home no later than 7:30. Anyway, so I said fine, I'll come over and see you. I waited... and waited... and waited. By 8:30 I went home. When he called me the next day, he said "you think you're real slick by leaving huh?" long story short, he told me he did it on purpose to prove a point to me, that he won't be told what to do. I never told him what time to come home. I just told him to call me when he got there, so I wasn't baby sitting his house. My take on that was he just wanted me at his house so he could know that I wasn't doing anything else. Just and FYI: he has very little respcet for women in general.

Then I think you held on three years too long.

I would have to agree. I guess I fight for those people because I can't fathum the idea. I've loved twice in my lifetime. Even though they didn't last forever, I'm still grateful to have loved at all. To experience it itself made me feel alive.

When you are hanging on to someone who is trying to let go, who isn't treating you as you should be, who isn't giving just as much for a relationship as you are, you are opening yourself up to being hurt.

You are overinvesting, while you are letting your partner underinvest in your relationship.

There is a light at the end of this. I promise. Then you will look back and wonder why you gave an 'a-hole' the power to hurt you.

I do believed they both loved me. My ex-husband, loved me enough to let me go. He'd had an affair that I wouldv'e never known about until he told me, but he told me that I deserved better. In my opinion, that's a pretty honorable thing to do, admit the mistake and accept the consequence.
This last one on the other hand... I think he loves me, but he's emotionally lazy. He wants everything to just be with no effort. That's why he makes everything my fault. It's easier for him to wait around for me to fix it on my own, rather than actually deal

We love many people, for many reasons, and we all express it differently. Some love is not healthy, but we do it any way.

When things don't work for whatever reason, incompatibility, inexperience, unwillingness, degree of commitment, we are hurt.

Some say love, but they mean love for themselves, and what you can do for them, or does it make them feel good.

It comes in many forms and fashions, but the bottom line is the commitment, and does it work for you. Is your love like mine? Doubt it, but we will take it personally, and that hurts.

I also think that sometimes its our perception of the expressions of love from others, that needs closer attention. For example, baggage from the past can influence how we see the new partner, and how they act which causes a reaction by us, good or bad. The rest is being carried away by intense feelings, we take as love, but is not. Many of us, when that intensity fades we are ready to find it elsewhere.

That's why going slow, and making sure of YOUR feelings, is probably the best idea, but we jump into a relationship so fast, and so deep, that we skip over things that will come back later, and bite us.

Just because the sex is hot, and heavy in the beginning, doesn't mean we have a foundation for long lasting love, let alone a relationship/marriage.

Those darn feelings, is what takes dealing with, YOURS and THEIRS.

I guess I just wanted to save him. I know now that I can't. I just hope I have the courage to save myself. 3 years is a long time to be hoping. I did get a song idea from this whole situation. "I'm waitin at the station for a train that's never comin 'round". (it's country lol.)