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    _StaR_'s Avatar
    _StaR_ Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Nov 9, 2008, 06:05 PM
    What's going on through a man's mind?
    OK, so my story is...

    My ex broke it off about a month ago. He said it was because we were fighting over the same thing. He's a DJ and this is a long distance relationship, but only about an hour away. So, being an hour away, I only really saw him about once a week, but then all of a sudden he was booked everyday of the weekend. I was feeling like I had to book him to spend time with my boyfriend. I was willing to even see him maybe just once a month, but it didn't matter to him. He was starting to feel like he had to choose between me or DJing, and no matter how much I told or yelled it out loud to him that he didn't have to, it just wasn't going through his head. :mad:

    He just emailed me a couple days ago just basically telling what's going on with his life, but did include such things like: "maybe this is just another test for both of us. I really meant what i said that if we were to get back together it will be it...," "sigh i miss u...wish things could have been better n it sucks that it didn't work out."

    Then he called me yesterday. Basically making small talk and asking me about my new love life if any. I told him there's no one, and that's with all honesty. I'm not the type of girl to go from guy to guy. The conversation basically went back to what happened in our relationship. I really just don't know what else to tell him because I've already tried working it out with him and he broke it off. He just walked out.

    I told him I felt like he just threw me out like trash, that I wasn't even A priority, I no longer felt cherished, I felt disrespected and that I do deserve better.
    I'm not perfect, but there are good qualities in me and it's the same for him. He's not an angel, but he has good qualities in him. No ones perfect.
    Then I find out he hooked up with someone. He told me about her before, but was debating about whether to go through w/it or not. I already kind of knew he would go through with it. Now after all is said and done. He wants to make it work now. But the way he wants to make it work is by me dropping everything and moving in with him.
    ?? I think he's crazy for thinking like that! After all he's done! He expects me to give? Especially more than him? Isn't it enough that I forgive him for all this if I agreed to make it work?

    I don't know! I mean, I know that him hooking up with someone else was when we weren't together, but then again I also see it like he still had feelings for me and then he's going to go do that? Then expect me to jump back in the relationship? I mean what about if we were officially together? Would he do that? He doesn't seem like the type and he truly is a nice guy, but am I just making excuses? I also think, he just needs more time to think. He may not be thinking clearly yet/still. Besides right now it just seems like he needs a signal from me that he still has a chance, if he really wants to work this out, why doesn't he just TAKE that chance?

    I don't know... guys, what is he thinking? What's going on through this man's mind? Who does he think he is? Is it his ego or is he truly being humble? Or is it just a big fear of rejection?
    TrueFaith's Avatar
    TrueFaith Posts: 1,202, Reputation: 313
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Nov 9, 2008, 06:13 PM

    Do not take the chance with this man.. he sounds very unsuer of what he wants in his life.

    Don't pack up everything.. if he went onto another girl so fast after you guys broke up.. then I wouldn't say he has that much respect for you.

    Leave him alone and move on with your life.
    Fiona2003's Avatar
    Fiona2003 Posts: 45, Reputation: 11
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Nov 9, 2008, 06:27 PM

    Guys (crummy ones) have the cowardly habit of "picking fights" when they want out of a relationship and when whatever the reason (or other girl) is no longer there, they seem to need the validation of their ex to show them that they've "still got it".

    DON'T fall for this trap. It's not about you, it's just about his ego. He's looking for anyone he can find to kiss his butt. That's his mama's job - not yours.
    simoneaugie's Avatar
    simoneaugie Posts: 2,490, Reputation: 438
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    Nov 9, 2008, 06:44 PM

    The above two posts are right on the money. If you do pack everything up and move in with him, who will be doing the cleaning, dishes and laundry? I'll give you two guesses, but you're only going to need one.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #5

    Nov 11, 2008, 09:04 AM

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ed-274432.html

    What a relationship! It never ends does it? One thing after another and its about your egos and not sharing and caring.

    Give this a merciful end and find something healthy to do with your life.

    You both have had all the preview of life together you need, so enough is enough.
    MissMax143's Avatar
    MissMax143 Posts: 37, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member
     
    #6

    Nov 11, 2008, 10:51 AM

    If your confuse and you think he is a” really good guy” then let him prove it to you. If he really wants to be with you and regrets EVERYTHING, learned from his mistake then he will show it to you any which way he can, and not just by asking you to pick up your life and go to him. See what efforts he makes NOW to see you and be with you! I doubt he will prove anything because I agree with FIONA2003, he's a coward!! Do not give in unless he proves himself and don't waste your time trying to figure him out either!

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