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    dexterglam's Avatar
    dexterglam Posts: 6, Reputation: 4
    New Member
     
    #1

    Mar 13, 2011, 10:07 PM
    What's going on in his head?
    Hey everyone,

    I have had a really good guy friend for over three years (im female). ( For the last year we have texted every single day and he always sends the texts first) He had always kind of had a thing for me but we just stayed friends because we both were dating others , etc. Well I became single last summer,(he was still in a relationship). I started developing feelings for him in the fall but I never said anything.

    About 2 months ago he became single too. When he first became single we hooked up twice and started flirting all the time then I had told him I liked him a lot more than a friend and he admitted he always has too.. BUT.. he said he doesn't have time for a girlfriend and he doesn't want a relationship.. blahblahblah Last time we hungout he paid for everything and we had so much chemistry, we held hands and almost kissed, he told me he wanted to kiss me but he doesn't want to hurt me from not being my boyfriend. But he still kind of was acting like one..

    I have been ignoring him a lot more lately because this whole thing is annoying me and he still texts me everyday ( like nothings wrong). I just don't know what to do. I've told him I've been on other dates and stuff and he doesn't really shows he cares.

    I know he's liked me for years so why isn't he jumping on the chance to finally date me?

    Ugh please help me understand this man's brain..

    Thank you! <3

    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Mar 14, 2011, 01:44 AM

    He's told you-he doesn't have time for a relationship as he doesn't have time for a girlfriend.

    Believe him and save yourself the heartache of trying to force a romance.
    DaniCalifornia's Avatar
    DaniCalifornia Posts: 655, Reputation: 152
    Senior Member
     
    #3

    Mar 14, 2011, 05:27 AM
    I once knew someone like this.


    It's quite possible he simply DOESN'T have time for a relationship, does he have much going on in his life? Consider what you think he wanted from you. Maybe he had strong physical feelings for you, but thought your feelings for him were a lot stronger, and didn't want to hurt you?


    If I were you I'd spend some time away from him, make him miss you. Either he will realise he wants to be with you, OR your time apart will make YOU realise you're okay without being with him. There's nothing wrong with staying friends when things wear down.


    Xx Dani G
    dexterglam's Avatar
    dexterglam Posts: 6, Reputation: 4
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    #4

    Mar 14, 2011, 09:13 AM
    Comment on DaniCalifornia's post
    We haven't seen each other for a week now. I barely txt him back now and he doesn't even care (he just keeps texting). Also he told me he's gotten me a nice gift. I am really mixed up with how his emotions are.
    dexterglam's Avatar
    dexterglam Posts: 6, Reputation: 4
    New Member
     
    #5

    Mar 14, 2011, 09:15 AM
    I forgot to add, I'm in love with this guy! I can't even accept dates from other guys, no one else seems good enough like my friend is. I don't know if I should drop him or not. I really care about him but I'm hurting everyday.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Mar 14, 2011, 09:24 AM

    Believe it or not, he sees you as a good friend, and after 3 years that's what he wants. Stop forcing a romance, and get back to the friendship you have developed over the years, and forget romance and dating. Even if that means you have to back up, and regroup.

    I can see your point in this because it looks good on paper as friends, but I suspect that its more that you are between romantic partners to date than an actual love connection with your friend. Not every friendship is meant for romance.

    He sounds like a great honest male friend, listen to him, and appreciate it.
    dexterglam's Avatar
    dexterglam Posts: 6, Reputation: 4
    New Member
     
    #7

    Mar 14, 2011, 09:42 AM
    Comment on talaniman's post
    Why would he flirt with me and say he's always liked me then :( even to this day he says he's always had a thing for me (hes told me countless times he's wished I went for him 3years ago instead of my exboyfriend. Also he says he doesn't understand whyd I ever go for a guy like him (he has low self esteem I suppose). Ugh :(
    DaniCalifornia's Avatar
    DaniCalifornia Posts: 655, Reputation: 152
    Senior Member
     
    #8

    Mar 14, 2011, 01:55 PM
    Comment on DaniCalifornia's post
    He IS strange. Maybe he's trying to work out his feelings himself. He needs to! Give him a while. You could fall for him more, so stay away for a bit. X

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