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    sudhanshu11a's Avatar
    sudhanshu11a Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 17, 2012, 11:27 AM
    What is your opinion of PDA (Public Display of Affection)?
    What is your opinion of PDA (Public Display of Affection)? My girlfriend hates when I wrap my arm around her waist in public. She thinks it's PDA. What do you think? Am I wrong, or is she?
    We both are well educated, mature and, working. I never kiss her on her lips in public. I will never be "touchy grabby" in public. I think that's dis-respectful when she refuse my touch on her waist. She feel everything comfortable with me in private(except mating rt now). I feel very uncomfortable while walking with her with some distance between us.

    Please tell me how can I explain her that it is just the way of showing closeness...
    elephant78's Avatar
    elephant78 Posts: 7, Reputation: 2
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    #2

    Apr 17, 2012, 11:38 AM
    She is afraid of something, she doesn`t feel comfortable with you if she doesn`t let you in.. it`s her fault. PDA is only natural...
    none12345's Avatar
    none12345 Posts: 1,439, Reputation: 234
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    #3

    Apr 17, 2012, 11:40 AM
    I don't really like PDA, mainly because it affects others. I don't know but this is me, as a single person, I hate it when I see PDA for some reason. Maybe this is just my opinion but I'm sure other people feels this way too and people who show PDA aren't being considerate to these people.
    sudhanshu11a's Avatar
    sudhanshu11a Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Apr 17, 2012, 11:57 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by none12345 View Post
    I dont really like PDA, mainly because it affects others. I dont know but this is me, as a single person, i hate it when i see PDA for some reason. Maybe this is just my personal opinion but im sure other people feels this way too and people who show PDA arent being considerate to these people.
    But do you think it is PDA when you place your arm around your girlfriend waist??

    Quote Originally Posted by elephant78 View Post
    She is afraid of something, she doesn`t feel comfortable with you if she doesn`t let you in..it`s her fault. PDA is only natural...
    Thank you so much for your response. I already talk her about this. She said she feel uncomfortable. And even if we marry each other, she will not allow me to do so. Which makes me very upset. I want to find some way which can solve both of us issue.
    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 2,002, Reputation: 553
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    #5

    Apr 17, 2012, 12:03 PM
    Depends on the female I believe, some like to be touchy feely everywhere, and some just at home. I personally think it is a lot more "classy" to keep the hands-on for the house.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #6

    Apr 17, 2012, 12:05 PM
    She may be uncomfortable trying to walk with your arm around her waist. Is she okay with hand-holding?

    Something you haven't included is where you live (country and culture). What may not seem like a big deal to you may seem like a very huge issue to her. Females tend to be very conscious of their surroundings and what others 'might' think. If she is from a culture or tradition that says females should be extremely careful about their actions in public or they might be seen as less than respectable, then don't expect her to be okay with being held in a close embrace (yes, holding her around the waist is a 'close embrace' unless your arms are ten feet long.)

    Being educated and mature have nothing to do with being careful about how she presents herself in public.

    The only thing that is wrong is that you don't seem to have discussed this with her and asked her why. If you have then you haven't listened and still want her to behave the way you want even if makes her uncomfortable.

    Why do you have to have your arm around her? There are other ways to stay close without being so obvious or possessive. Have you tried holding hands or linking arms? Perhaps just walking closer to her without touching?
    sudhanshu11a's Avatar
    sudhanshu11a Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Apr 17, 2012, 12:10 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by mmresd View Post
    Depends on the female I believe, some like to be touchy feely everywhere, and some just at home. I personally think it is a lot more "classy" to keep the hands-on for the house.
    We are not in live-in relationship. We just get few hours in a week to spent together which we normally spend in some restaurant or mall.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cat1864 View Post
    She may be uncomfortable trying to walk with your arm around her waist. Is she okay with hand-holding?

    Something you haven't included is where you live (country and culture). What may not seem like a big deal to you may seem like a very huge issue to her. Females tend to be very conscious of their surroundings and what others 'might' think. If she is from a culture or tradition that says females should be extremely careful about their actions in public or they might be seen as less than respectable, then don't expect her to be okay with being held in a close embrace (yes, holding her around the waist is a 'close embrace' unless your arms are ten feet long.)

    Being educated and mature have nothing to do with being careful about how she presents herself in public.

    The only thing that is wrong is that you don't seem to have discussed this with her and asked her why. If you have then you haven't listened and still want her to behave the way you want even if makes her uncomfortable.

    Why do you have to have your arm around her? There are other ways to stay close without being so obvious or possessive. Have you tried holding hands or linking arms? Perhaps just walking closer to her without touching?
    You solved my issue Cat1864, thank you so much for giving light on all these aspects. I have to see her comforts first before mine. Thank you so much once again.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,890, Reputation: 5430
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    #8

    Apr 17, 2012, 12:21 PM
    Remembering back to my dating days, I didn't care for waist holding or even hand holding while walking. I'm 5'1" and often the guy would be as much as a foot taller, so his arm around my waist didn't work. If he instead draped his arm around my shoulders, that made it uncomfortable to walk (I felt like Atlas holding the world on his shoulders). If he held my hand while walking, his stride was longer than mine, so either he had to take smaller steps or I had to practically run to keep up. What I'm saying is that, depending on her height and how the two of you move when you walk, the PDAs you are asking about may be uncomfortable for her from a physical standpoint.
    sudhanshu11a's Avatar
    sudhanshu11a Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Apr 17, 2012, 12:29 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Remembering back to my dating days, I didn't care for waist holding or even hand holding while walking. I'm 5'1" and often the guy would be as much as a foot taller, so his arm around my waist didn't work. If he instead draped his arm around my shoulders, that made it uncomfortable to walk (I felt like Atlas holding the world on his shoulders). If he held my hand while walking, his stride was longer than mine, so either he had to take smaller steps or I had to practically run to keep up. What I'm saying is that, depending on her height and how the two of you move when you walk, the PDAs you are asking about may be uncomfortable for her from a physical standpoint.
    Thanks for the response Wondergirl. But I do not think height or any physical standpoint is issue. I am 6' and she is 5' 10'' and, we have now almost 3 year of relationship. I do not think she has any issue like that.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,890, Reputation: 5430
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    #10

    Apr 17, 2012, 12:35 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by sudhanshu11a View Post
    Thanks for the response Wondergirl. but I do not think height or any physical standpoint is issue. I am 6' and she is 5' 10'' and, we have now almost 3 year of relationship. I do not think she has any issue like that.
    Even when a girl is close to the same height as the guy, there is a "drag" when walking with his arm around her waist or even holding hands. It limits her movement and forces her to walk a certain way and in step with him. Other than physical possibilities, someone had mentioned cultural or religious possibilities. Have you ever asked her why she doesn't care for PDA?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,213, Reputation: 10853
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    #11

    Apr 17, 2012, 05:22 PM
    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...do-621872.html

    How was this problem resolved? If it was resolved to the benefit of you both, you repeat that process again. You did resolve it didn't you?
    Johnssha's Avatar
    Johnssha Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Apr 18, 2012, 02:44 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by sudhanshu11a View Post
    What is your opinion of PDA (Public Display of Affection)? My girlfriend hates when I wrap my arm around her waist in public. She thinks it's PDA. What do you think? Am I wrong, or is she?
    we both are well educated, mature and, working. I never kiss her on her lips in public. I will never be "touchy grabby" in public. I think that's dis-respectful when she refuse my touch on her waist. she feel everything comfortable with me in private(except mating rt now). I feel very uncomfortable while walking with her with some distance between us.

    Please tell me how can I explain her that it is just the way of showing closeness...
    Ok there are things like, stuffing your tongue in the other persons mouth that we don't need to see. Things like holding hands doesn't bother many people, it is a whole thing of respect. Something's are rude like what I said earlier and are uncalled for in public.
    sudhanshu11a's Avatar
    sudhanshu11a Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Apr 19, 2012, 11:59 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...do-621872.html

    How was this problem resolved? if it was resolved to the benefit of you both, you repeat that process again. You did resolve it didn't you?
    On 29 Dec, I again requested her for allowing me to take a break from the relationship. But this time it was more an order than a request to her (because I was already avoiding her form a week). And she finally agreed to give me that, for a period of three months. I stopped meeting her and talking over phone to her, but I didn’t cutoff our conversation through messages in one go, I slowly controlled it, so this change will not hurt her much. On 23th Jan, I stopped even messaging her (although she never stopped/forget to message me morning and night wishes). It was so hard time for me to control myself that I started writing dairy and I realized that it is impossible for me to forget her. Finally on 3rd Feb, I responded her message and we had a good conversation at that day and it continued for almost a week. On 7th Feb (Rose day), When I wished her, she just send back a ‘thankx’, which gave a hint that she is upset on something. When I asked her, she said everything is fine, it’s just she is busy with her office work. On 14th Feb, she again done the same thing, which make me upset and I request her to tell me if she has some problem. Then she told me that she is unable to get back the trust in the relationship which she had previously on me. I tried to convince her by every possible way I can think for almost a month, even I showed her my dairy which I wrote for her but I was unable to convince her. After that When I accepted that she is gone then suddenly she called me and apologized for her misbehavior and asked me to start our relationship once again. From last one month everything is going fine, accept few tiny issues (one of which Cat1864 just resolved). I hope rest of them will also be resolved soon. Anyway, thank you for your concern and sorry if I wasted your much time (sorry for my English too).
    Thanks once again…;)
    sudhanshu11a's Avatar
    sudhanshu11a Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #14

    Apr 19, 2012, 12:02 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Johnssha View Post
    Ok there are things like, stuffing your tongue in the other persons mouth that we don't need to see. Things like holding hands doesn't bother many people, it is a whole thing of respect. Somethings are rude like what I said earlier and are uncalled for in public.
    What does this means??

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