If Your In A Relationship, And Want to Leave Out Of That Relationship, How Would You Leave Or Tell That Person You Want Out! Witout Hurting That Person Feelings?

It is simply not possible to do without hurting feelings. That is a simple fact of life-- the ending of a marriage or relationship is painful to everyone involved. Its how that pain is expressed and relieved that matters and can make the difference being hard and unbelievably difficult.

Okay nicely said, thanks

Ahhhh, now I see what you meant in your other thread about sometimes you need to sugar coat the truth to avoid hurting someone's feelings.

I don't think it applies here though. Again Val is right, the ending of a marriage or serious relationship is going to result in emotional pain and suffering and it is unfortunately unavoidable.

The best thing you can do is be honest, but firm about your decision. There is no way around the heartbreak you are going to cause.

I can tell you that if you stay in a relationship that you are not happy in, then you will be hurting yourself even more and also it would not be fair on your partner.

I would not want to be with someone who deep down wanted out and did not love me.

That thought hurts more than the thought of them being honest with me and leaving.

Take your grandmothers advice and "if you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything at all".

World doesn't work the way your grandmother thinks does it??

That won't work.

Tell the truth. If the truth hurts his feelings then so be it. In the long run having his feelings hurt will be better than him being lied to and not getting it straight.

I always feel an odd sensation crawl up my back when its implied that the truth hurts. It is not the truth that hurts, it's the person who is trying to hold on to the illusion or lie who is struggling with letting go of it that hurts. Truth is freedom and freedom is a good thing. In telling someone its over, it's the relationship ending that hurts, not the truth telling or acknowledging of it. In most cases, the relationship has ended and pain has been already caused whether the truth of it has been told or not. But that very ending is what makes future happiness possible. No one living a lie is really happy, since they live in illusion and we humans are not so good at lying to each other and ourselves. When it comes to a relationship (of ANY kind really) if its not working for one, its not working period. And that is the truth.

Had to spread val but never a truer word spoken that that above.

The honest truth straight and face to face.

No more drama... just say the words... I am out... and walk... all communication will be through the lawyers... make sure a protective order is in place to keep him and his horde from calling you at work... do get rid of all reminders of this relationship... after all you have no grandchildren coming from this guy... and re-read Val's reply and copy it and place on the refrigerator... remember no drama necessary

Be honest, and don't think of yourself here. You are going to "look bad" no matter what, but that doesn't mean that you have to be cruel about it. Tell them STRAIGHT UP that there is NO chance of you getting back together, or they will HOUND YOU!! Just be honest, be kind, and lay it all out there. Best of luck.

I'm not sure that any particular thing you'd say or do will spare their feelings. Just be kind, honest and tactful. Tell them that things aren't working out. If they demand to know why, tell them in a non-accusing, matter-of-fact manner. If they choose to begrudge you as a result, then that rests on them.