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meandering12 · Aug 3, 2010, 10:58 AM

I feel very strange towards my boyfriend after he told me the following:

When he was 28, almost 17 years, one summer he met a guy on the night train from North England to London. They ended up sharing a room in London that night. The room has only one bed so they ended up kissing each others and doing the whole acts together. They further met each in Barcelona a week later and shared a hotel room and repeated the experience. After that, he tried with another two guys at different cities in Europe. After that summer, he never had homosexual activities anymore.

Is is common for young men in their sexual exploration?
Is it okay to overlook it as he was his past?

The reason that it was brought up because he has hemorrhoids. When we look up the causes from Mayo clinic's website (i.e. Straining during bowel movements; Sitting for long periods on the toilet: Chronic diarrhea or constipation; Obesity: Pregnancy; and Anal intercourse). He said it could be one of the following three reasons: Straining during bowel movements; Sitting for long periods on the toilet: and Anal intercourse).

Shadowburn · Aug 3, 2010, 01:41 PM

By age of 28, people usually have their sexuality figured out already. If he never repeated the experience, maybe he is just slightly bisexual (if there is a degree of it).

Is it OK to overlook... it is very personal and that's something to ask yourself about - can you live with it or not. If your relationship is healthy otherwise and you are comfortable with the way things are, than it is just between you and him.

I'd also say he confessed to you in unusual way. I mean, he could look up causes for hemorrhoids himself without telling you about his homosexual experience. So maybe he felt a need to tell you - maybe it is something that is bothering him and he really wanted you to know about it?

Good luck. It's a touchy subject though.

talaniman · Aug 4, 2010, 05:57 AM

This is something you talk openly about, and get some clarity on, so you don't assume, and presume. You need the truth from him.

What can you expect? Honesty so you can make an informed decision for yourself.

SamBuzz · Aug 4, 2010, 06:16 AM

Honesty is good... But you have to decide if you can handle the truth. Give yourself some time, and don't nag him about it... If you must get more reassurance, once a week at most, ask him in the most playful way you can something like "No more Barcelona's with train car guys, right?" And see if you can live the reassurance.

More importantly: You mention that he confessed to three homosexual partners. Please make sure that he has shown you a current negative AIDS/HIV test, and this would be a good reason to get yourself tested too.