You took her back, so stop confronting her. That simple, as you forgive, and let it go. Then your kids wouldn't see you arguing all the time.
Can't you quietly work together, through some honest communications, to set boundaries, and limits, that work for you both?
If you can't, then what's the point of staying, and fighting?
Counseling is always a good option, preferably together, but you could benefit by going yourself.
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