What should people look for in prospective partners?

I ask this because:

1.) Many people are upset about exes. If they could get a list to compare the person they're pining for to the list, maybe they'll realize that the person they're stuck up on aren't for them.

2.) For the chance for the wise men on this forum to flex their experience muscles.

I think that it depends on the person you are, but there are a few general guidelines.

1. They have to be nice to you and people you care about. Doesn't mean they have to LIKE your friends or family, but at least be nice. And vice versa.
2. They have to respect you, and you need to respect them.
3. And you need to be physically attracted to each other. I'm not saying you should date eah other for looks, but at least be able to look at your significant other and see how s/he looks.

What to look for in a mate?

Well, that's really different for everyone. I chose my husband because we have the same interests, he's intelligent, fun, makes me laugh, is the kindest man I know, a great person, serious about his future and loves me with all his heart, as I do him. That hasn't changed in the 19 years we've been together, so obviously I made the right choice. ;)

I think life, and this forum, are way too full of lists. What to look for, what not to do, what to do, what to expect... Look, love isn't scripted. It isn't thought out nor is it some preconceived notion that comes true one day. It is unpredictable, changing, and all embracing.

Go into a relationship having an open mind, and a warm heart. Don't carry some type of list of positives and negatives around, because more often than not, you will start to constantly doubt every single emotion you may have for this person.

Observe, listen... pay attention to the relationship as a whole, and let that guide you in how you handle it. People change. I thought my ex was "the one"... but does that really exist? Is there really only one person in the entire world for me? Well, if that was the case, I would be pretty lucky if I just happened to bump into her.

Instead of looking for things... I find it more about enjoying things, and if it so happens you enjoy something you were never looking for, it becomes that much more powerful. I spent so much time "looking" for my ex to do certain things or exhibit certain qualities that I hardly ever enjoyed the person she actually was.

Kc, I had to spread the rep but I loved your answer, you are so right! :)

I look for someone that is composed rather than highly anxious or nervous.
Someone happy rather than depressed.
Someone who is optimistic rather than negative and pessimistic.
Someone who is realistic rather than unrealistic.
Someone who is respectful rather than disrespectful.
Someone who is able to communicate rather than hidden and never speak their mind.
Someone sympathetic and caring rather than unsympathetic.
Someone sensitive to others rather than insensitive.
Someone that is self aware and open rather than defensive.
Someone objective rather than subjective.
Someone who is flexible rather than rigid and controlled.
Someone that has patience rather than someone who is impatient.
Someone amiable rather than hostile.
Someone who can be humble rather than proud.
Someone thoughtful rather than impulsive.
Someone with good self-esteem rather than low self-esteem.
Someone who can be honest and direct rather than manipulative.
Open to others rather than closed and hidden.
Of course someone secure rather than insecure.
Someone assertive without being domineering or controlling.

Those are the things I like for along with someone that has a good sense of humor,not afriad of life or commitment, love kids, someone I can trust, and someone that I can love and who will love me back. I happy that I found all these things in my fiancé.

I avoid guys that are just floating through life, abuse drugs or alcohol, don't have themselve together, and users. Let's not forget liars or cheaters because I believe in that saying fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.

Well, I'm upset about my ex, but not because I'm stuck up on her... but because of what she did, how she did it, and the timing of it all.

What to look for in a prospective partner...

... ::clears throat::

Ivanka Trump
Megan Fox
Jessica Alba

... That is all.

I just wanted to highlight those two individuals in case they ever came on this forum... One of them is my future wife, the other my future mistress

Someone who is happy with themselves, and wants someone who is happy, to share it with.

Go into a relationship having an open mind, and a warm heart

Had to spread the rep but the whole post was full of good stuff