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    broken_ heart's Avatar
    broken_ heart Posts: 201, Reputation: 22
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    #1

    Dec 28, 2009, 11:18 PM
    What does it mean when your ex gives you updates of his life with his fiancée to you
    Me and my boyfriend was in relationship for 3 years. Then suddenly he said that he doesn't want to marry me but still wants to be friends. I accepted and we continued to be friends. And on another day he disclosed about his girlfriend with whom he was dating simultaneously when we were dating now is going to marry her. I continued talking to him for 4 months after he declared this to me. Then I stopped because he was showing interest in getting physical with me without the knoweldge of his fiancée and without even leaving her. Now whenever something happens in his life like his engagemnent or something important related to this he comes to me and tell me the same. He says that he still want to be friend with me. I am not understanding this I still love him and his updates about these things make me hurt. Personally I want him back for life but I don't see this possible. I don't know what I should do in this regard?? Please help
    Ledinai's Avatar
    Ledinai Posts: 15, Reputation: 2
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    #2

    Dec 28, 2009, 11:24 PM

    He is a weak ediot who cannot see that you still love him, and does not seem aware that you hurt. Can he feel or see what your eyes tell him. But no, do not go back to him, don't even think about it. He will probably never marry the women he is about to marry.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
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    #3

    Dec 29, 2009, 12:08 AM

    Every time he discusses his fiancé, and the wedding plans to you, you let him. He has even made sexual advances toward you, making it quite clear that he is not marriage material, and he's not friend material.

    I think you are very fortunate that you are not engaged to him. If that were the situation, he'd be talking to another girl, and trying to have a fling on the side, while you're sending out the wedding invitations.

    The only person who can put a stop to it is you. Think hard about keeping your distance from this man, and thank your lucky stars you are not engaged to him.

    Loving him, and wishing for a miracle that he will leave his fiancé, turn into an honourable person, and return to you, is just a dream that will never come true.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #4

    Dec 29, 2009, 03:35 AM

    He's a cheat and a liar and you should cut him out of your life completely. Don't put up with his BS anymore.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,103, Reputation: 10852
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    #5

    Dec 29, 2009, 10:27 AM
    Talaniman Rule- When you get dumped, have the dignity, and self respect to disappear from their life.

    That alone will save you a lot of heartache, especially when you figure out he was a lying cheater, and wanted you to be in it with him.
    broken_ heart's Avatar
    broken_ heart Posts: 201, Reputation: 22
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    #6

    Jan 2, 2010, 01:04 AM
    What does it mean when your ex wants to meet you in spite of the fact that he's engage
    Its been a long time now that we broke up. He dumped me for an another woman and is engaged with her and is going to marry in few months. He always says that he wants to be friend with me and shows interest in getting physical with me. As per the advice received I stopped talking to him. He also did stop calling me and messaging me. I tried but its really difficult for me to forget him after such a long period of relationship. I am very sure that I am in love with person and I think can't love anyone else again like this. I really really want him back in my life but see no way. Last time when I called him few days back he again showed the same interest and said he wants to meet. Should I go and meet him? I don't want any nonsense realtion (without any commitment) but I do want to win him forever. Is there any way I get my love back from this another woman who is his fiancée now? Or should I accept the fact that he is gone forever?? I don't want to spoil anything but its becoming really difficult for me. Every 24 hours he is in mind. I have lost almost everything in my life (no interests) I don't know what to do?? Please help me and advice me how can I get back him and if its not possible how can I get over him?
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #7

    Jan 2, 2010, 01:18 AM

    I stand by the advice I wrote before-see your other thread-this guy is a cheat and a liar. Disappear from his life.
    broken_ heart's Avatar
    broken_ heart Posts: 201, Reputation: 22
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    #8

    Jan 2, 2010, 03:55 AM

    Thanks amicon, I will try my best to follow your advice no matter how difficult its going to be
    broken_ heart's Avatar
    broken_ heart Posts: 201, Reputation: 22
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    #9

    Jan 2, 2010, 04:01 AM

    Thanks to all of you, I will try to follow what you all have advised
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #10

    Jan 2, 2010, 04:03 AM

    You can do it. Go complete no contact and ignore him 100%.
    Good luck.
    sully123's Avatar
    sully123 Posts: 567, Reputation: 148
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    #11

    Jan 2, 2010, 05:46 AM

    Right now you have to disappear from his life. He has a fiancée, and its off limits. If he called the engagement off, then would be a different story. But it is what it is. When he tries to call you, I would tell him just that. You are not going to be the other women, as long as he is engaged, I am walking away. Then, see what happens, and maintain NC. If for some reason he breaks the engagement then that's a different story.
    jmjoseph's Avatar
    jmjoseph Posts: 2,727, Reputation: 1244
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    #12

    Jan 2, 2010, 07:10 AM

    " shows interest in getting physical with me."

    Let's see, he cheated on YOU with her, and now he wants to cheat on HER with you.

    He wants one last fling with you before he gets married.

    Like he ISN'T going to cheat then too. HA!

    He is a tool, and should be avoided like a plague.

    You should be mad as hell at him.

    Let this other girl deal with him, and his BS.

    He wants to be "friends"? Tell him that you don't need friends like him, and you go about your business.

    I know it's tough for you. BUT, he is just playing with you, and should be ashamed of himself.

    You will be just fine.

    Be strong, and stay busy.

    Good luck to you.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,103, Reputation: 10852
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    #13

    Jan 2, 2010, 08:06 AM
    While I know its hard to just turn those old feedings off, don't do something stupid, because of those feelings. It's a fact he is a lying cheater, and safe to assume he is going to still be a lying cheater. Stop talking to him, no matter how hard that is, or you will be lied to, and cheated on.
    Llisa's Avatar
    Llisa Posts: 36, Reputation: 17
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    #14

    Jan 3, 2010, 08:16 PM

    He totally doesn't even respect you or his fiancée. There is no reason to want to be with him. He doesn't really care about either of you.
    broken_ heart's Avatar
    broken_ heart Posts: 201, Reputation: 22
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    #15

    Jan 6, 2010, 12:37 AM

    I am trying to do what you all have advised, but anyhow he manage to contact me and keeps on calling me, discussing and reminding me of the old good times we shared together. He keeps on saying that he wants me back, he likes me a lot but at the same time he is firm with his decision of getting married with that girl because he says that in spite of his liking he doesn't see his life partner in me and still doesn't want me out of his life.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #16

    Jan 6, 2010, 12:47 AM
    Have you got caller id? If so don't pick up when he calls,if not change your number. Please find your selfrespect,and resist all contact. You really DO NOT need this person,and I'm being polite when I call him that, in your life. Be good to YOU and don't let anybody else run your life.
    broken_ heart's Avatar
    broken_ heart Posts: 201, Reputation: 22
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    #17

    Jan 6, 2010, 03:39 AM

    I think you are right ami, this is the best option I am left with to ignore his calls no matter how many times he call. Thanks:) for being there
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #18

    Jan 6, 2010, 03:47 AM

    You're more than welcome-look after yourself-remember, you are in charge of your own life.
    HistorianChick's Avatar
    HistorianChick Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 825
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    #19

    Jan 6, 2010, 06:59 AM

    He's a player. And you're being played like a fiddle.

    You're worth better than this jerk.

    I've had to change my phone number before because an ex wouldn't leave me alone. It is hard, but effective.

    Don't answer his calls, hon. It only hurts you and breaks your heart a little more. Don't put yourself through that pain.
    broken_ heart's Avatar
    broken_ heart Posts: 201, Reputation: 22
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    #20

    Jan 9, 2010, 02:11 AM

    I have cut all the ways from where he can contact me, but I really miss him. I still love him, I know he don't deserve this but I do. I don't know whether I will be able to forget him or not. Its really very difficult for me.

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