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    S1986's Avatar
    S1986 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Aug 26, 2008, 12:12 PM
    What does he want?
    Me and this guy have known each other for almost a year and dated for like 6 months. Are relationship was kind of hard because he worked 2 jobs and I went to college so we didn't get to see each other that much. Maybe like to a week if we were lucky. We decided equally to break it off because neither one of our feelings were increasing. We decided to try the whole friends with benefits thing and we kind of had problems with that because it wasn't satisfying to me. I mean I enjoyed it and stuff, but he didn't want to do it anymore because he said there was no point.

    We still hang out now and he told me that I am his best friend. We do have sex sometimes, but only if we are drinking or something. We promised each other that if we started liking someone else we would let the other one know and even now we still keep that promise. We still hang out and he stays with me up at college once a week. We don't really have sex anymore like I said, but we go out to lunch sometimes and we go out with other friends and hang out.

    My question is what does he want? I know that he is not very good at telling his feelings so I am not sure what he is feeling. I don't want to push him and just ask, but we talk almost every night just about how our day was and stuff and sometimes he texts me and says sweet dreams. Maybe I am reading too much into things... what do you think?
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #2

    Aug 26, 2008, 12:24 PM
    Exactly what he has, a friend with benefits
    fjsmith81's Avatar
    fjsmith81 Posts: 122, Reputation: 11
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    #3

    Aug 26, 2008, 12:41 PM
    I totally agree with your last statement. You are reading too much into it. It seems to me that your relationship with him has transitioned, and in my opinion for the better. I think that you two are best suited as friends, because from what it sounds like your romantic relationship was headed nowhere. I think that you two were very smart in deciding that the relationship aspect was over and then that the friends with benefit thing was in no one's best interest. You two could have a very long lasting friendship, and I would definitely not suggest anyone putting restraints on it by trying to rekindle any romantic interests.

    Good luck
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Aug 26, 2008, 01:02 PM
    I think you have a friendship, that gets carried away with a little liquor, and you get benefits.
    S1986's Avatar
    S1986 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Aug 26, 2008, 03:37 PM
    I know that he doesn't want just sex because when we dated we didn't really do it. He is not like most guys he doesn't want it all the time and for that I respect him. At this point mostly what we do is just kiss...
    hjpan's Avatar
    hjpan Posts: 902, Reputation: 29
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    #6

    Aug 26, 2008, 09:59 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by S1986
    I know that he doesnt want just sex because when we dated we didnt really do it. He is not like most guys he doesnt want it all the time and for that I respect him. At this point mostly what we do is just kiss...
    Stop defending him.

    If he doesn't know what he wants, then why does he have sex with you?

    Exactly. To get between your legs.
    magrock's Avatar
    magrock Posts: 70, Reputation: 2
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    #7

    Aug 27, 2008, 08:34 AM
    I have noticed that you can not mix sex & friends... it just gets too complicated... either be just friends or have something more serious.. neither of you can have your cake & eat it too... trust me it will back fire 1 day & 1 of you will be hurt. I just went through a similar experience...

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