I met this guy back in high school, probably 5 or 6 years ago. I didn't know him very well at the time, but had some interest in him. But soon enough, I learned that he was so obnoxious. I told him if he continued to be obnoxious, I would stop talking to him. He did it again. I didn't know him very well, so it was easy for me to stop talking to him and walked away.

Over the next year, I would bump into him in the hallways and I wouldn't bat an eyelash at him, although I was aware of his existence. He also found himself a girlfriend. Eventually, we shared a class together. My first words to him in over a year was "thank you" when he held the door open for me. I guess he took that as an invite to start talking to me again. Then I realized that his girlfriend was such a princess. He couldn't stand her and they finally broke up for the last time (after like 50 times, according to him).

Then, we became closer friends. I was very thankful that he helped me through a very tough time in my life. And I guess I thought there was a future for us. So 2 years ago, I gathered my nerves and professed to him. He rejected me but we remained close friends. Then he became mentally abusive. I guess it was my fault for being a pushover. He'd ask me to do favours for him and I'd happily oblige. But he would get mad at me over the littlest things, yell at me all the time just because he was stressed, wants me to invest with him, and was not afraid to let me know that he was just plain selfish. He even told me that he only has 2 types of friends: true friends and "friends" to gain benefits from. Clearly, I belonged to the latter group.

Then he wanted to apply to a job that's out of town. He asked me to help him with his resume and cover letter, which was cruel because he knew I didn't want him to leave. But instead, he accused me of not doing a good job and that I did not want him to get the job.

He made me shed so many tears, but I kept giving him so many chances to make up our friendship. Eventually, the last straw came about a year ago. He was so unreasonable that it hurt too much and made me cry. I vowed to myself that I would walk away and never talk to him again. Since then, I haven't talked to him for one whole year. He did email me twice... to see how I was doing, but not to apologize (doesn't seem like he knew I was mad at him)... so I never responded.

All of the sudden, I accidentally picked up his call (no name on call display) about 2 months ago to see why I've gone missing. The night before my exam! I shouldn't have let it affect my exam, but it did. I was very coy and told him I couldn't deal with it at the moment because my exam was the next day. After that, he's been emailing me once in a while to see how I'm doing. I would respond with the fewest words possible to let him know that I don't really care about talking to him and don't want him to know too much about me. He sent me another email last week because he thought I had another exam coming up. Does he want to ruin my exam again?

What does he want? Why does he keep pestering me?

The thought of communicating with him just grosses me out when I think of how much pain he's given to me. I don't know why I haven't told him to stop bothering me. Maybe I want to lead him on as a revenge? They say revenge is sweet, but I feel guilty, so it's not that sweet. Or maybe it's because I feel that it's a shame to throw out a friendship with someone I used to care about, but at the same time, I don't really care about talking to him right now. I just feel kind of rude that I still haven't responded to the email he sent last week.

Sorry this posting turned out to be so long. I just want to know what he wants.

He probably has no idea what he wants. He uses and abuses people he calls his friends. Yes, he probably did want to mess up your exam. You don't need that kind of "friend." He was likely abused as a child and is a bit screwed up. You sound sane, and kind. If it gives you closure, let him know that you do not wish any further contact with him whatsoever. And let that be the end of it. Let him be. Go on with your life. There's nothing you would feel good about doing with or for him. He has make that abundantly clear. Let his screwed up self go.

Sorry if I sound harsh. I married a guy who sounds just like this one. Get away from him now!

It is often advised here and well advised, NO CONTACT. No contact in every sense - from not talking to him, no emails, no text messages, not taking his phone calls, blocking his number, anything and everything you have to do in order to NOT engage in any form of communication.

Then, you should seriously consider seeking professional help as to why you chose to enter into, what you already knew, would be an abusive relationship. You do not deserve to be treated rudely, be called names, be accused of things, being asked to invest your money with him, etc. He was using you and would continue to use you, as for him, this gets what he wants from you. I hope you never did invest any money with him.

He has some real issues with control and power and manipulation. You need to get out of his grasp for good. Change your phone number and make it unlisted and unpublished. If you have common friends, please tell them to not discuss you with this guy or give any information to him.

Protecting yourself is your priority. Getting emotionally healthy is another priority. Being able to "find" a positive relationship will help you see that this guy was never for you.