I am a 40 year old woman who had a very deep relationship with a man 10 years younger. The relationship ended in April 2007 because he could not get over the age gap and he moved to London...

I also moved to London with the intention of 'finding myself' again and applying to do an MA in painting. Obviously I hoped that we may have a chance again (even though he said that I should not move to London for him) but was prepared to accept things even if they did not work out!

The irony is that it did not work for him in London so he went back to Germany to write his PhD.I stayed here and have continued to grow and rebuild my self-esteem... and it was really the right choice for me. I am becoming that strong, wonderful, confident person I know myself to be.I have had interviews for an MA and I have also dated another man... I am confident that I will find someone I like, whatever!

Of course... I actually still love him! And no other guy compares.The last time I saw him was in October last year.We have been mailing regularly but then it went quiet for 2 months.

Finally,Last week I mailed him asking how he was doing and if he now has a new, younger girlfriend...

He wrote back immediately saying that he has no new girlfreind and he is struggling with his PhD.He asked me how I was doing and if I am seeing someone new.

I would like to know if you think he may be thinking of me too? Or is he in need of some ego boost?

Well, he may have just asked because you asked him. It sounds like he has moved on though, if he didn't contact you for two months. I think it sounds like you are on the right track. Keep on building yourself esteem and doing what is best for you. If it's meant to be someday, it will happen. And if not, then you just keep on doing what you're doing. You never know when you might meet someone even better!

Thank you Peggyhill.That sounds quite right! He probably has moved on... I guess I have too

Unfortunately the last chap I got involved with just was'nt quite so gorgeous so the relationship did'nt last long.

But what do you think about getting involved with men who don't really do it for you until you have sex and find it fits quite nicely? My weakness is that I fall in love too soon and for that reason I broke the last relationship off because I figured that if I'm going to give my heart and souls to someone then let it be 100% worth it!

Well, that sounds like a very wise thing to do. Just try to take things slow; I know it's easier said than done, lol. When you meet someone that you think could be a good match, just tell him that you want to take things slow. If he isn't willing to do that, then you will know that maybe he isn't the right one. I think a guy that truly cares will be able to take it slow if that's what you feel is best for you. And I think it sounds like you're on the right track here. I hope you meet someone good soon!

Just be happy doing what your doing, and some one will want to share the happiness with you.