Where to start because there is kind of a lot and I've been venting to my friends lately about the most recent things. Well OK, here goes. I started dating this girl almost three months ago (so not that long, my previous two relationships, one which ended a few weeks before we got together, were 9 months and 3 years) so I'm accustomed to long serious relationships which might be the beginning of my problems because I might be over reacting or tgrying to get too serious too early. Anyway, a few days will be our 3 months and I've never argued so much or so intensely in any relationship ever. We're both very stubborn and that usually leads to someone over reacting and it just not turning out well. I'm extreemely laid back and have no problems spending the day just relaxing watching a movie and not doing anything exciting but hanging out just the two of us, which is a rareity we get that chance in our relationship. She however is the opposite, if she isn't out partying till 3am she can't call it a good day (she actually told me that last night). I drink but huge parties aren't really my scene. I would rather just chill and drink with my close friends most of the time. This is where it all pretty much started. She will drink till she can't remember ANYTHING that happened the night before and that kind of bothers me, expessially when she goes out to these frat parties and will get hammered and crash there and not invite me or any of our friends either. She says she's not allowed to bring guys to a frat party. This is something we've argued about before and this winter break she came out and left her phone at my place, we live in different states but go to school 9 months out of the year together. Anyway she has this ex who always will call and she'll talk with him for long periods. I have no problem with that as I'm good friends with most of my ex's, but she'll get off the phone and not stop talking about him and his new rollex or 60,000 diamond he bought with daddy's money. Both I which I could never afford. Anyway I had the phone and he sent her a text message that was questionable, something about can't wait to see her when her friends from school aren't around. We went and visisted her home for a weekend about a month ago. However it's a blackberry and displaid their entire text history till about a month ago and I noticed that she had been talking to him asking if he was ever going to propose, and telling them that they fit, and could see him as a husband etc. SO I thumbed through her texts to be honest, naturally I felt bad but I felt I had reason to be suspicious and my suspicions were correct when I found that and needed find out if anything was going on because he's also been sending her Facebook messages of the same content. And during this I found out she smokes pot. Not a big deal, it's always been my view that people can if they want but she knows I have never and would never and am very against it when it's people I'm in a relationship with. She also had a male roommate, a friend of mine who she hooked up with before we were together after he got kicked out of his dorm, and after we got together they would have lifttle flirty wrestling matches, and on one occation after she got out of the shower and was in nothing but a bathrobe the guy tackled her on her bed and she was having trouble keeping it on while I was standing right there. When I confronted her about it she got mad and told me there was nothing she could do about it, and that I stopped being so jelous. Then over the break she called me on new years and she was wasted and at the end of the conversation (she was throwing a party at her house) I was listening to one of her friends blatently flirting with her her going along with it. She asked if she could call me back and hung up without me giving an answer and then never called me back. Then she accused me of making it up when I confronted her about it and called me controlling when I asked if it was necessary that she drinks to the point where she can't remember and could make a stupid decision. She joined a sorrority this month so the partying has gotten worse, and last night I was sick and in a bad mood and she got mad at me and left and stayed the night at another guys house, but told me she should be back so I waited till 6am before assuming she wasn't coming back and going to sleep, and we haven't talked today really at all. I've never had a problem with jelousy in any of my preious relationships at all but I feel like she does everything in her power to make me jelous or at least she is very insecure that she can't be in a steady relationship without feeling the need to feel like she can still get guys, or just likes that kind of attention. She still doesn't know that I read her texts, but she still goes out and does drugs and parties with other guys and says she can't invite me or at one time told me they were all going to this guys ranch and she wouldn't have reception for a few days so she couldn't talk to me. I trusted her to not do something stupid, but she really hasn't given me a reason to trust her anymore and can't understand why I get upset at stuff like that. I was venting to a friend of mine and they asked if there was anything good about this girl, a statement which really opened my eyes. Any advice would be nice. Thanks.

She doesn't sound like she is considering your feelings and I will be the first to say if you were controlling or not. NO WAY! You were more than tolerable in my eyes, had my fiancé stayed the night at another guys house, we would be done. I would have ended it after a lot of what I read but you chose to stay.

Dude... this is outrageous. She's treating you like nothing it seems like, or she's keeping several guys at once. She's dishonest, not serious, a partier... She sounds immature to me, because she needs to go out, party, and get drunk to have a good day. Is that what you want to deal with four or five years from now? If you ever decide to have kids, do you want your wife to not be a mother and go out drinking all night? You shouldn't trust her because there's nothing she has done to earn that trust. Tolerance doesn't come at the beginning of the relationship; it's earned through time and effort. You don't owe her anything. Get out now, before it gets worse.

Is she worth all that drama?? Not to me.

I'm sorry for your trouble, I can totally relate to it though as I just got out of a very similar situation with a party girl, you are never going to win here I think, and the more you protest or show your upset the more she will rub your nose in it, and if you want to torture yourself and try and pretend as though you don't care what she does, that may get her attention, but it's a rough road. I think this girl has totally disrespected you in every way possible and as hard as it may seem I think you got to give her a large dose of no contact until you get over her.

A lot that was mentioned here really erked me and personally I wouldn't give her the time of day... She is being very disrespectful and it sounds like you two just aren't compatible. It sounds like she is an attention seeker, and quite imature. It all depends on how long you will put up with it. You don't need to be miserable like this in a relationship.

Yea you seriously need to end it with her... she is just keeping you around as a backup guy in case other guys don't give her attention... If she is texting her ex asking when he is going to propose, she is obviously still dating him. Sounds to me like she doesn't care about you or your feelings at all... I've been on her side before... I wanted to have my fun and keep as many guys around as possible and lead on as many as I could. I wasn't doing it on purpose, but that's how it is when you are out partying all of the time and when you are in college. If I were you I would end it as soon as possible before you get hurt... thanks for the post on my question by the way. Just wanted to let you know your advice helped me a lot and I hope mine helps :)

Auburn, take a look at the post dates. This one is beyond old