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    alanab's Avatar
    alanab Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    May 24, 2012, 11:56 AM
    What to do if your boyfriend loves you but finds your body unattractive?
    Iíve been with my fella for 18 months and heís 23 n Iím 32. I also have 3 kids, including twins, and I breast fed them all. My problem is, although he loves me and wants to be with me regardless, he finds my body quite unattractive and I think he wonít go on holidays with because of this. And the fact that I get jealous when he checks out other girls. I love him but my confidence has gone and Iím finding it hard to cope with. Any advice welcome please :(
    C0bra_M3nace's Avatar
    C0bra_M3nace Posts: 1,296, Reputation: 223
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    #2

    May 24, 2012, 12:03 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by alanab View Post
    ive been with my fella for 18 months and hes 23 n im 32. i also have 3 kids, including twins, and i breast fed them all. my problem is, altho he loves me and wants to be with me regardless, he finds my body quite unattractive and i think he wont go on holidays with because of this and the fact that i get jealous when he checks out other girls. i love him but my confidence has gone and im findin it hard to cope with. any advice welcome please :(
    Although looks aren't everything, it will eventually be poison to your love life, in turn your relationship.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    May 24, 2012, 03:24 PM
    What the hell are you doing messing with a boy when you really need a man?? Is he a baby daddy or something?
    WisperWill70's Avatar
    WisperWill70 Posts: 277, Reputation: 84
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    #4

    May 24, 2012, 04:37 PM
    Simple truth ---- and please never forget this. A man who loves you will love your body.

    My spouse has changed shape over the last couple of decades and you know what? I don't care at all. If you want a superficial, disapproving person who sacks yourself confidence - stay with this d-bag. Otherwise... find one of the many many men out there who would just LOVE to have you on their arm and don't want to check out other girls.
    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 2,002, Reputation: 553
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    #5

    May 24, 2012, 04:49 PM
    What you do in this situation is break up with him, move on, and find someone who actually likes you, and not someone who you probably just provide financial stability to. Is more like having another kid than a partner with that age difference. I have been the 18 year old boyfriend in the past to the lady who was 36 :). To my defense, I was very infatuated with her and LOVED her body.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
    Entomology Expert
     
    #6

    May 24, 2012, 06:54 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by WisperWill70 View Post
    Simple truth ---- and please never forget this. A man who loves you will love your body.
    I agree with this completely.

    And I have to question what your boyfriend thinks he's doing by telling you this? Terrible.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #7

    May 24, 2012, 07:09 PM
    Why do you think he does not like your body? Has it said it, do you just believe it ? Is it just because he looks at other women ?
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #8

    May 24, 2012, 07:13 PM
    I agree with everyone on this page.

    I would love to hear you answer Chucks question, because that will largely dictate which side I swing to. So, please, tell us if this is something he's said to you, or something you believe because he checks out other women.

    If he's told you that he doesn't find you attractive, then dump the loser and find a real man.

    If he's never said a thing and you only believe that he doesn't find you attractive, because he checks out other women (something all men do), then it's your issue, not his.

    So which is it?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #9

    May 24, 2012, 07:44 PM
    I've been with my fella for 18 months and he's 23 n I'm 32. I also have 3 kids, including twins, and I breast fed them all
    Are we talking being pregnant the whole duration of this relationship?

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