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    jflo1120's Avatar
    jflo1120 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jul 4, 2011, 09:48 AM
    What do I have to do to avoid losing her?
    Hi everyone,

    I recently met this seemingly amazing girl at my summer research program. From the very first day we met we hit it off, and exchanged phone numbers and all that. We went on a couple dates, and now I can say we are pretty much dating. However, I did the big mistake of coming on too strong and giving her too much affection. Through the grapevine, I heard that she thought I was being a little clingy. So, I toned down everything and it seemed to have good results- she was the one doing the txting and the calling and all that. But, a friend of mine had asked her how things were going with me and she said "Ehh, I dont know about him but i dont want anything serious right now".. what is the best way to tell her that it has not been my intention to make her feel like I'm pressuring her into anything that she does not want go into right now.. How should I excuse myself for coming on strong and tell her that I still want for us to continue dating and see where it goes from there?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Jul 4, 2011, 11:42 AM

    Have fun getting to know her, and take it one day at a time. A bit soon it seems to make any long term plans on dating, or worrying about losing her. Or to wrap your life around her no matter how good you think things are going.

    As long as your still dating, enjoy it. It will work the way it works. Don't get carried away. Dating is just having a good time getting to know someone, not a guarantee to future happiness.
    HurtScorpio's Avatar
    HurtScorpio Posts: 92, Reputation: 23
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    #3

    Jul 6, 2011, 10:17 AM
    I would apologize to her for coming on too strong and tell her that you just really liked her but play it off as if you want to see how things go between the two of them and tell her to give YOU a call when she would like to talk and maybe you could get together. Take it slow and let it progress naturally because it seems that if you don't she will perceive you as clingy and run in the other direction. It is like a game of cat and mouse and it is your turn to play hard to get. They say do not play games but sorry to say but people want what they can't have so the less available you seem, the more she will want to know you so let her know you slowly and don't be so available as if you are waiting around for her. You each need to lead separate lives. She needs to know you are interesting and that you won't suffocate her when she wants to do things. I know it sounds like a big game but trust me, this is the way it is. Best of luck.
    Pleasehelpme411's Avatar
    Pleasehelpme411 Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jul 9, 2011, 11:57 PM
    The best real honest answer?

    Be honest.
    If your honest and tell her you don't want her to feel uncomfortable or too pressure her into a serious relationship she isn't ready for. Just tell her simply "Sweetie, i don't know how sure you are about being ready for anything serious but i want you to know if you feel pressured in any form we can keep it steady the way we are now and if you feel like your prepared for us to move on, we'll take it there, step by step."
    Hey now man, took me 10 minutes to think of something that doesn't make you sound cheesy lol, so try to think of something like that. But make it come from your heart. Its best to take things slow, it gives her time to think of who she's getting involved with, and gives her time to uncover your true side, and gives you time to think "Do i want to spend my life with her?" "do i love her?" and if not, don't be like most guys, and just stay. If it turns out you do, put your heart into it, and don't make it seem like its all about sex. Women hate men who are nothing but sex. Its natural to have sex, but unnatural to not care about the woman your with. This is why there are foster kids in the world. Partly.
    Good luck bud, just imagine, you got this advise from a 15 year old.. Enjoy.

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