Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    Heartbroken_in_luv's Avatar
    Heartbroken_in_luv Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Mar 2, 2007, 02:48 PM
    What do I do?
    Hey my girlfriend and me have been going out for 2 and a half years and in that time funny things have happened.. after a year we went out I played on her with a girl but it was a few kisses.. 1 month later she got drunk and she says a guy kissed her at a party.. but she says she never kissed him back but if your drunk and you know your way home after all the drinking woudnt you be able 2 figure out if your kissing someone or not? And then she played me agen with 2 other guys twice claiming that one of them kissed her in da dark and another time her cousin came over to her house and kissed her but she says she pushed both of them away.. but the time she was drunk she says the kiss was less than 5 minutes.. the thing is it happened while we wer going out for a year and 2 months and she kept it secret till yesterday which was our 2 years and 5 months.. so basically she lied for a year and a half.. and now she wants time away from me.. I also slept with another women while we were on break quite a while ago but I worked it out that it was after she played on me but I neva knew she played on me till I found out yesterday what she had been doing.. I love her lots and want to spend the rest of my life with her but now she says she wants time and she wants to be single and get away from the problems but at times she says she wants to be with me as well and we have talked about marriage and everything and I know she loves me.. im also worried that if we go on break she might enjoy it really well and realise she doesn't need me in her life and move on and leave me heartbroken and still wanting her.. im also worried she might just take off with another guy and might have fun with other guys and might take me back after she's already done everything.. but I really want her and want to be with her.. do I forgive her for lying or give her time or move on or what? Because we are both in our last year of high school and she is in my every class and we sit together in every class and now if we are not together its going to be awfully hard to get over her.. I don't know what to do.. im not a very strong person as well as life is reallyi hard for me at school and home not just with the girlfriend so please guys tell me what I have to do because I'm really heartbroken right now.. thanks guys
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Mar 3, 2007, 07:13 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Heartbroken_in_luv
    hey my girlfriend and me have been goin out for 2 and a half years and in that time funny things have happened..after a year we went out i played on her with a girl but it was jus a few kisses..
    Which is still cheating. Just a few times.

    Quote Originally Posted by Heartbroken_in_luv
    1 month later she got drunk and she says a guy kissed her at a party..but she says she never kissed him back but if your drunk and you know your way home after all the drinking woudnt you be able 2 figure out if ur kissing someone or not?
    Possibly. I’ve known people who walked home for miles and don’t remember it but call you parts of the night before. It’s really irrelevant because if he your drunk most people still know not to cheat on someone else.

    Quote Originally Posted by Heartbroken_in_luv
    and then she played me agen with 2 other guys twice claiming that one of them kissed her in da dark and another time her cousin came over 2 her house and kissed her but she says she pushed both of them away..
    She kissed her cousin?

    Quote Originally Posted by Heartbroken_in_luv
    but the time she was drunk she says the kiss was less than 5 minutes..the thing is it happend while we wer goin out for a year and 2 months and she kept it secret till yesterday which was our 2 years and 5 months..so basicly she lied for a year and a half..and now she wants time away from me..i also slept with another women while we were on break quite a while ago but i worked it out that it was after she played on me but i neva knew she played on me till i found out yesterday what she had been doing.
    God there is a lot of drama here. She loves that. Drama. She’s like a production manager for a play and your one of the stars. One of. Not the only one, a featured player to be sure but your just a star in the production of her own life drama. To be fair it sounds like you like the drama as well.

    So far nothing has been said that makes me think anything about this relationship is healthy.

    Quote Originally Posted by Heartbroken_in_luv
    .i love her lots and want to spend the rest of my life with her but now she says she wants time and she wants to be single and get away from the problems but at times she says she wants to be with me as well
    She’s playing your emotions. She keeps you at bay with them but calls you up when she needs something from you. She’s quite good at it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Heartbroken_in_luv
    and we have talked about marriage and everything
    Means absolutely nothing. Most guys don’t get this. When you talk about marriage it means that she keeps you in her emotional spider web. You let her talk about marriage, maybe add a few pointers here and there but otherwise change the conversation until you really start getting pressured on it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Heartbroken_in_luv
    and i know she loves me..
    No you don’t. You know you love her. You can’t speak for her.

    Quote Originally Posted by Heartbroken_in_luv
    im also worried that if we go on break she might enjoy it really well and realise she doesnt need me in her life
    Well, I can’t lie to you. She might. But your, your own man. You are bigger than the relationship. But if you want her to come back you can’t force it. You have to let her go and see if she comes back.

    Quote Originally Posted by Heartbroken_in_luv
    and move on and leave me heartbroken and still wanting her..
    Being heartbroken is heartbreaking to be sure. But it’s not something you can’t overcome. It’s not something that you have to focus on and keep you down. There are many things in life that you can focus on and get value and enjoyment from beside her or any other woman for that matter. You just have to make the decision to do it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Heartbroken_in_luv
    im also worried she might just take off with another guy and might have fun with other guys and might take me back after shes already done everything..
    Why would you want her like that? That means she just sees you as doormat or a back up plan. Your better than that and you have to start telling yourself that or she will start thinking of you like that as well and use you accordingly.

    Quote Originally Posted by Heartbroken_in_luv
    but i really want her and want to be with her..do i forgive her for lieing or give her time or move on or what?
    Only you can make the decision to forgive her. I would say you should be cautious of her though. To me she comes off as someone looking for a good time but if she can’t find anyone she’s always got you.

    Quote Originally Posted by Heartbroken_in_luv
    because we are both in our last year of high school and she is in my every class and we sit together in every class and now if we are not together its going to be awfully hard to get over her.
    Yeah that’s tough, I can’t deny that. The good news is school’s out in about 3 months. That being said you can still acknowledge her but you don’t have to talk to her. In other words say hello but then focus on your class. She’ll get the message.

    Quote Originally Posted by Heartbroken_in_luv
    .i dont know wat to do..im not a very strong person as well as life is reallyi hard for me at school and home not just with the girlfriend so please guys tell me what i have to do because im jus really heartbroken right now..thanks guys
    Well, you have to give her space. Normally you’d try to make her miss you by being away but that’s going to be hard if your sitting next to her all day. In that case, if your funny, I’d recommend that you use your humor and only joke with her. Always smile. But do it only when she talks to you first and be short with her. Make her come to you, don’t start conversations with her but if she starts them with you be polite, funny, and outgoing. Then get back to your school work.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search



View more questions Search