Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
    yoomin's Avatar
    yoomin Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Sep 14, 2009, 12:11 PM
    What to do about this decision?
    So I have this friend that is having trouble figuring out what he wants. From what he has told me, he wants to be with this girl that makes him feel like he really be himself around, he tells me that he's happy and when he has a bad day just talking to her makes him feel better.

    The girl he is with now was his current ex, he says he can't leave her because she is pregnant. When I tried to help he said that if he's not with her, she won't let him see his baby. So that is partially why he went back to her in the first place, it been a couple days since they got back together and after talking with him, he doesn't seem all that happy anymore.

    What should he do? What can I tell him?
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
    Ultra Member

    Sep 14, 2009, 12:20 PM

    You can tell him staying for the children never works (if fact - it does more harm then good), he is emotionally cheating on his girlfriend and that he has rights to his child that the girlfriend can not stand in the way of, even if she wants to, he just has to fight for his rights in court... which looks like it will be in his future anyway.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert

    Sep 14, 2009, 12:37 PM

    Sticking around for the child isn't going to be in the best interest of the child because he's unhappy with the relationship. Furthermore, he's going to end up emotionally cheating nor matter how you see it.

    If he wants to be involved in the child's life, then he should take her to court and gain his rights.

    If she's not willing to let him see his own child because he's not in a relationship with her, then she's extremely controlling. I would take it a step further and suggest (I can't be certain because I know the two people involved) that she might not be the most competent parent to take care of the child and that maybe he should attempt for full custody. But in such a case, I would suggest that he seek legal counsel to ensure that all his rights are protected.
    eloelo's Avatar
    eloelo Posts: 9, Reputation: 2
    New Member

    Sep 14, 2009, 06:08 PM

    I agree with everyone else here, staying in a relationship you're not happy with simply because of the baby is not healthy for the child. They'll end up cheating on her on the sly, and the kid will go to sleep with yelling fights downstairs. Unless they sign an adoption paper giving up your parental rights, they'll still be the father.
    yoomin's Avatar
    yoomin Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Sep 15, 2009, 06:25 PM

    Thank you all for your help.. I'll talk to him.. but more importantly I want to find a way to convince him that he doesn't need to be with his "ex" to see his baby...

    I recently found out that he's lost in emotions... he doesn't know what to do.. like what I'm trying to say is that when he talks to the girl he likes, she makes him all happy... like she told me that he felt like cutting but by just talking to her.. he felt all better something like that... so why doesn't he go to her if she makes him feel that way?
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
    Ultra Member

    Sep 15, 2009, 07:11 PM

    He needs to man up and realize he has a kid on the way. Being in an unhappy home is not going to help this child grow up well. Tell him that the courts don't allow no visitation just because the father doesn't want to be with the mother. They do what's in the best interest of the child, not how the mother feels.

    Tell him to do what makes him happy and when the baby is born, let the courts settle things with the baby momma

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions


Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.

Check out some similar questions!

Is it the right decision? [ 2 Answers ]

Assala mu Alaikum.. I have a friend who is going to get married within some months . She prays regularly and is very fond of gaining knowledge in Islam. Her to be husband was suppose to get married to another girl before my friend. But he then refused to marry her because her attitude was wrong....

Is my decision right? [ 8 Answers ]

My parents are against my relationship and have threatened to severe ties if I go ahead. She says that she knows it for a fact that we won't make it together for a happy life. Although I love him a lot and trust him fully somewhere inside my mother's remark pinches me. Can you tell me if we will...

What is the right decision? [ 1 Answers ]

I'm not sure I'm into phycics and what I believe, but I've started studying it and uni and now my beliefs that it was untrue are changing rapidly. Basically I'm no expert, its just a few sample lectures, but its really made me think. I've recently just broke up with my boyfriend, my choice, and...

Is it the right decision? [ 1 Answers ]

I'm 26 years old and involved with a 31year old woman called (A) who has a 8 year old daughter from a previous marriage of 8 years. We've been together on and off for two years. Met her just after her devorce went through. We once again split up and became good friends and last year I went overseas...

Big Decision [ 4 Answers ]

Ok. Me and this guy have been seeing each other on an off, mostly because I don't know how I feel about him, I have never really given him too big of a chance. Recently he joined the Army, and has gone to Iraq and since then come back also. He came home this past weekend and asked me to move with...

View more questions Search