Hi everyone,

I have a very puzzling and painful situation that I'm hoping you'll be able to help me with.

I've liked this guy for a long time, and I've always known that he liked me back. About 2 years ago, he asked me out, and I declined because I wasn't ready for a relationship. I got scared, covered it all up, and ran away from it.

I haven't forgotten about him though. I often thought about him, and we sometimes spoke through email. What started getting puzzling was that the emails weren't just "friendly" they were more than that. We were flirting, and we both knew it.

We decided to meet up today in person and have coffee. It was so natural, it felt as though we had been together forever. We went on a walk, and held and embraced each other. It was so comfortable, so nice. Suddenly, as we were walking and holding hands, he abruptly released my hold and said, "i'm sorry, please just stop, i'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression". I was really confused because we had just spent the whole afternoon nestling and cuddling.

Later, I emailed him to see what was up, and explained that I now feel ready for a relationship but I need to make sure that we are on the same page (because I was confused about what had happened today). He said that after I had rejected him 2 years ago, he was crushed and it took him a while to recover, and that he can't get involved with me.

I don't buy what he says. I know we have something there, and I believe that he does too- he's just covering it up because he doesn't want to get hurt again. I understand that, but I know that we can be together forever, and that we shouldn't let something that happened in the past stop us from moving forward (slowly) into the future.

What do I do?

Please help.

You let him go!
He is not ready ,willing or able to be with you so don't bother with him.
Hot one minute cold the next ,holding on to rejection from two years ago.
Sounds like a lot of drama and nothing else.
Maybe he just wanted to hang out to give you a payback for two years ago.
Let it go,unless you like drama because he sounds goofy.

As you wrote it, when he was ready, you were not, but when you were ready, he is not.

Bad timing, and you can't force someone to feel as you do, or be ready when you are. Let it go, as I doubt he changes.

I don't think he is going to change either, and now is getting cold feet. Seems like he has some lilttle issues going, and is sending you mixed messages. One minute he is holding your hand and cuddling and the next minute doesn't want it. Sounds like a red flag to me.

There is obviously more going on with him than we're reading or you're seeing.

I'd just stop contact with him altogether. He's got some underlying issues that only he can deal with. He's broken and you can't just hop in there and fix him.