I am European and fell in love with a girl from Central Asia. Apart from the obvious Christian-Muslim differences, where she lives, it is not too uncommon to get beaten by parents if you do not work all day in the house or disrespect them in the slightest way (answering sometimes counts as disrespectful).
She got beaten up by her step-mom and moved in with her natural mom (the two sides of the family really hate each other). I was there for her and supported her in any way I could and promised her that I would take action and come to her country and give them a piece of my mind (pay them back in the same way) if they ever did something even close that ever again (felt also personally insulted since her step-mom got to know me and they know my intentions also). I love her with all my heart and intend to propose to her in a couple of months.

For a week now she started acting weird and does not want to talk about this to anyone, she just says she feels bad (and she said that one of the things is that she feels bad about not living there. And it seems that the more I try to be there for her the more I piss her off reaaaalllly realllly bad which drives me crazy because she does not tell me what is wrong or what I am doing wrong.

She agrees with me that her step-mom's actions were not normal and told me she does not want to go back there. I tried talking to her and asking her normally but nothing but anger and disappearance acts when I do so (for periods of 15 to 30 hours at a time).

Pleaaaase help me, I never felt so bad in my entire life (25 years old) and started doing things I never knew I would do ("redecorating my apartment in rage, to like punching my bathroom door into oblivion" just so I would calm myself before talking to her when she appears willing to talk again). Need to mention that I am an advocate for verbal resolution and non-violence acts and feeling so bad makes me really scared. I do not want to make things worse between me and her, she is the first one I want to propose and know she is THE ONE.

Thank you taking your time to read this. Any suggestions are highly appreciated.

P.S. She had to go back to her country last year so that she defends her paper, so we have been having a long distance relationship for close to 7 months, time in which I went to visit her several times. (2 years we have been together, going on third now)

Back up guy and stop pressing her about what has happened and be positive. She sounds like she needs plenty of healing to do, on her own and with some professional help. Years of physical,and mental abuse leaves you this way and to be honest she may not be ready for any emotional love connections of any kind right now, or major changes in her life.

Unless you understand this, you will be doing much more harm than good, as she is struggling greatly at the moment and will for some time to come. With help it may be years and much longer without until she can grasp and cope rationally with what she has been through. That's right, all those plans you had are on hold, and you should seek your own help to know what you should be doing for yourself.

At least then you may have a few tools to know what should be done for an extremely injured human female. Get some help for YOU my friend and I wish you much luck.

Hey.
Lets get started.

Okay, first of all, if you are wondering why you did not get many comments, it's because no one can tell what goes through her mind.

Now lets reset and refocus, why on earth is she mad at you? Hello! She was abused, and the only reason she told you at first is because she needed someone to help her and reach out for her, when her own family didn't. You were a source of comfort, and now you are pressuring her with questions, right after the shock. And you expect that there is something between you two, why?
Why did you help her from the first place? Did you think you would win her over?
Did she even tell you, yes I love you and I am your girl?
Don't act like you own her.
I agree with,Tal, she might not be ready for a relationship; Further more, maybe she considers you as a friend only.
Give her some peace of silence, she will tell you if she wants to talk.

Sorry I got misunderstood guys. We are a couple for over 2 years now(one and a half years we have been living in the same place but after this she had to go home to finish the last year of studies there), we are not just friends and also discussed having a future together and starting a family together and be with each other for the rest of our lives. She wanted to have a child with me now but I encouraged her to wait until she gets her degree and that we start a family by getting married first.

She came to me for help because I am her boyfriend. I already won her over, and I did not expect anything from me helping her. I helped her because I love her more than anything and she was in need of help. I am also highly against violence on women and offered to give her anything she needs so that she will be safe.

Her mom which is really open minded even asked me if I know what is wrong with her daughter and asked for my help(she dose not want to talk to anyone). She and her husband also know my intention to marry her and support me with this.

I feel terrible because I cannot stand to see her being so unhappy and feeling like she feels now. I feel completely useless at this point.

She isn't here to say why she is acting the way she does, so I don't know how we are supposed to help. Maybe she doesn't know her real mother very well. Maybe she wants you to save her now rather than later. Is there a father in the equation? Who is paying for her education? I could sit here all day asking questions. I think you are being too concrete about this, as though there is a list of things you should do and you aren't doing them right. There is no right. Relationships have infinite variety.
You could formally ask her to marry you now. That's the only thing I can think of.

I completely understand you feeling frustrated and helpless, but forget you at the moment and think of her only. She needs time, so forget the plan, and consider time and healing. Trauma dictates it.

Despite your feelings its about her. After being abused people are confused and the last thing she needs is emotional people around her telling her what to do and pushing to help. She isn't ready to share and care. None of you know what to do, and neither does she but she does need a unbiased compassionate ear, not an ever questioning mouth, and when she is ready she will reach out, but she needs time and space right now to get healthy.

The best advice is for you and her family to back off. Get your own emotions under control.