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wsg · Oct 23, 2008, 05:13 PM

My girlfriend and I have been going out for 2 1/2 years and we love each other so much and it was all going great... well at least I thought it was. We used to do everything together and even talk about stuff all the time, but about a month a go she seemed to be distracted and not her usuall self.
But then 2 weeks ago she told me that she wants to be single!! And that things just didn't feel the same anymore. I tried asking her what has changed and why but she won't give me a straight answer and all I got was "i dont know?, i just have this feeling/urge to be single but i still want to be with you to".
After some crying and talking we decided to take a 1 month trial break-up so that she could think about things and 'experience single life'... so its been two weeks now and I'm really struggling to stay positive. I've tried keeping myself occupied with other things but my mind always wanders back to her. We have started talking to each other the last couple of days as well but I find it hard because we can't see each other and get our true feelings out.

I love her very much and just want to see her happy but I also want her back by my side, and I would do anything for that to happen.

So if anyone can suggest something that may work or could really help us out then I'm all ears...

ylaira · Oct 23, 2008, 07:45 PM

It sounds like "break it to me gently"... Nothing else to do but trust that all the good things you've done for her when you were still together will be thought well and missed.

Ash123 · Oct 23, 2008, 08:01 PM

Please read my guide below:

Ash

h0llister · Oct 23, 2008, 08:21 PM

OK you need to do no contact! She wants to go and live her life. You should do the same. Do u think its fair you sit around all sad all the time, while she's out having fun! NO!! Go out with friends.. enjoy your life.

talaniman · Oct 24, 2008, 08:10 AM

Stop playing with your own feelings, and let her be single, and disappear from her life, and rebuild yours.

It called NO CONTACT with her!! A must, if you want to keep your dignity and self respect.

jmw0713 · Oct 24, 2008, 01:50 PM

Tal is right. Don't keep talking to her thinking she will come back. I just went through this same thing. Only instead of going No Contact right away, I didn't follow the advice here and prolonged my break-up for 3 months. The whole time I thought things would work (since we were together for over 3.5 years). I was being there for her as a friend and talking to her once a week thinking "Yea, she'll come back! She isn't seeing anyone. Just be funny and light hearted!". But in the end, I found out she really broke up with me to get with another guy. I found this out 3 months later. Instead I should have went NC right away been 3 months ahead in my healing instead of being where I'm at now, heartbroken and hopeless. Read the other threads, there good advice on what you should do. Your just going to suffer more in the end. I though the initial "break" was rough, than the truth finally came months later, turning out to be much worse.

samfulcher · Oct 24, 2008, 07:03 PM

Break ups are rarely permanent solutions. They are usually tests of the relationship and/or tests of your loyalty. Need proof? Well, she knows that she has a good thing with you, which is why she pre-empted the break-up with "trial."

Your job is make her really realize that you're right for her. First off, you should agree to the break-up, maybe let her know that you value your freedom now. This will get her thinking really hard about this mistake she made in letting you go.

If you want more information, drop me a line. I recently wrote an article about "Winning Back an Ex" that's all over the net under "Sam Fulcher." Feel free to read it if you need (a lot) more detail.

Good luck!
Sam
Relationship Advisor
The Match Maker Review

tabbarat · Oct 24, 2008, 07:05 PM

True, but maybe she didn't leave him for another guy?

He should give her some space, but stay in the pic sometimes... play the game... if she still has feelings for him, he should play off them and see where they take him

tabbarat · Oct 24, 2008, 07:06 PM

I agree,, read my question/thread... we seem to think alike