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crisluvsu731 · Jul 20, 2009, 01:40 PM

Threads merged
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years, and he is the love of my life. I would do anything for him and I know he would do the same.

I found out after dating him for a few months that he had depression issues and that scared me but I knew that he was a strong person and I would be there for him.

Well, a few months went by and we moved in together, I really learned how he was. Very sensitive. I started feeling like I was walking on egg shells, and a year and a half later, here I am.

Last weekend, I walked out with a bag with no intensions of coming back except to get my stuff, and he brought up that he would go get help if I stayed, and he has yet to do it. He won't admit that he needs help unless it's to make me feel better.

When he gets mad, he punches holes in the wall and throws his phone. He gets really mad but I know he would never hurt me physically.

Same thing is going on every day. We have done counseling and I have tried leaving a few times but I am in love with him and I don't know how to get him to go get some help for his depression, what do I do?

Help!!

kctiger · Jul 20, 2009, 02:50 PM

He needs to be responsible and help himself. If he can't do that, then you need to protect yourself and run away as quickly as possible. Love isn't worth holes or things being thrown, especially if it leads to physical violence... it's a slipper slope that I wouldn't gamble with. He either gets himself some help or you need to leave.

N0help4u · Jul 20, 2009, 02:51 PM

Sounds more like bipolar.
Stand your ground and do not move back with him. (I hope you haven't)
If he is serious and wants you back he will go for help.
You can't make him want help, you can't make him change. All you can do is tough love and that would mean do not move back.
If you have, move out again.
Your living with him is only going to give you both a false sense of everything is fine.

crisluvsu731 · Jul 20, 2009, 02:53 PM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

Sounds more like bipolar.
Stand your ground and do not move back with him. (I hope you haven't)
If he is serious and wants you back he will go for help.
You can't make him want help, you can't make him change. All you can do is tough love and that would mean do not move back.
If you have, move out again.
Your living with him is only going to give you both a false sense of everything is fine.

Well, I left for the day, I didn't move out. I have no where to go, my family is in another state except for my aunt who lives an hour and a half away. But if I go stay with her, I lose my job and if/when we get back together, I won't have a job.

N0help4u · Jul 20, 2009, 03:00 PM

You need to come up with some tough love type thing to get him to take this serious.

crisluvsu731 · Jul 20, 2009, 03:05 PM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

You need to come up with some tough love type thing to get him to take this serious.

Well, I had him crying when I told him I was leaving and he promised to get help. If I leave, it will have to be for good. But I can't see myself leaving, I am so.. in love with him.

His mom told me that she is surprised so see us still together, she thought I would have left a long time ago. The last time we were out there visiting his family, he go into one of his moods and his mom told me that the next time we come out, it needs to be me by myself, she didn't want to be around him, being like that.

sully123 · Jul 20, 2009, 03:15 PM

I had a boyfriend who had clinical depression and dated him for three years. He was never violent and never punched holes in walls. WE did break it off, that was part of the problem I couldn't deal with, I did try though. He is fine today, he was just going through a lot back then when he was selling his house. But your boyfriend has anger issues and that is something that would bother me. Unless, he wants to get help, I would move on right now. You just never know if he would turn on you.

N0help4u · Jul 20, 2009, 03:15 PM

Will she help convince him to go to a psychologist?

Maybe try getting him a good brand of vitamin B complex
I know it helps my bf's mood a lot

sully123 · Jul 20, 2009, 03:18 PM

He needs professional help and doesn't too me seem like he wants to get the help. You scariing him and telling him you will leave. Unless you follow through with your actions, it will mean nothing too him

crisluvsu731 · Aug 10, 2009, 09:38 AM

Threads merged

Ok, so I have been dating this guy for 2 years and we live together.

Well, he is a total sexoholic! I use to love sex and now I hardly ever get into the mood. I feel really bad about saying this because I know how insecure guys are about their size. But he is a pretty small guy in the area. Sometimes I can't feel it when we are having sex. What do I do? I can only get off if we have a porno on at the same time. I feel horrible about this but I can't help it!

Any advice??

crisluvsu731 · Aug 10, 2009, 09:56 AM

I know it's horrible, I feel really bad but I can't help it!!

I wish · Aug 10, 2009, 09:57 AM

This question was already asked: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-...me-378277.html

Please keep all your questions regarding the same issue in the same thread so that we can follow your story and give you appropriate responses.

The others in that thread asked some very relevant questions that you did not respond to.

1) Why do you think he does not turn you on anymore?

2) If you're not attracted to him, why are you sticking around?

No chemistry = no relationship

You're just dragging out the inevitable.

crisluvsu731 · Aug 10, 2009, 04:56 PM

Threads merged

My boyfriend wants to add another women in the aquation. He asked me about my fantasies and of course I opened my big mouth and now he keeps asking if I want to involve another girl and I don't think I can handle that. The thought of another girl touching my man makes me sick. So I figured, OK, he wants another girl in the picture, I will add another guy. He says that's wrong, any advice?

Silverfoxkit · Aug 10, 2009, 05:14 PM

My advice is to let him have as many girls in bed as he wants... that is of course after you throw the loser to the curb.

This guy is perfectly okay with screwing another woman, yet he think its wrong for you to have another man? Hmm...

This seems very off to me. Basically he wants to keep you to himself yet he wants permission from you to screw around. Either you want an open sexual relationship or you don't but this double standard of his is not right.

N0help4u · Aug 10, 2009, 05:21 PM

From your other posts you are already having problems this will only amplify the problems NOT bring you closer together.

You did exactly what I would have said.
AND no it is NO more wrong than him wanting another girl in the picture.
For some reason guys don't think anything of two girls together but according to their way of thinking two guys would be homophobic or something.
Tell him you are at an impass because you are no more into the idea of another girl than he is okay with the idea of another man.

ImaGuy · Aug 10, 2009, 05:29 PM

This is a common fantasy of most guys. If you have opened a door to it, I don't think you should be too upset by him wanting to explore the idea.

Maybe instead of getting upset with him and the idea, have an honest open conversation about it and tell him how you feel. If he respects you, he will drop it.

Alty · Aug 10, 2009, 05:44 PM

Another case of lack of communication.

Just tell him no, you won't do it, the end.

jmjoseph · Aug 10, 2009, 05:46 PM

Tell him no. Plain and simple.

liz28 · Aug 10, 2009, 05:49 PM

Never do something that you don't want to do.

If you can't add another guy to the mix then you can't add another girl.

crisluvsu731 · Aug 11, 2009, 08:43 AM

Threads merged

How do you know when you are ready to get married?