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    nothingmore21's Avatar
    nothingmore21 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 21, 2008, 09:19 PM
    We've been together for 4 years now! But not engaged?
    I'm 21 almost 22, and my boyfriends 23. My boyfriend and I been together for 4 years now. Of course like many other couples, we have our ups and downs. I have a horrible trust issue and he feels unconformable if he tells me things, like hanging out with friends. He never cheated on me but on our 2 years of going together, we broke up, because of arguments. Our issues are not healthy at all. but were working on it. I've been living with him for about 1 1/2 years. the first year was tough but we got through it. I move from Delaware to 1 hour north in PA to live with him. People told him that we should be thinking about marriage by now, since we've been together for 4 years. People told him if you are not thinking of marring her, than you shouldn't be with her, she's obviously not the one for you. After arguing to him, about some petty issues, he started to think about that statement, which started to scare me. but it could be all from anger. He told me that hes not even thinking about marriage right now, not even the thought comes across his mind. Is he worth my time?? Do you think its normal for couples be dating for about 4 years not engaged?? Do you think thats true?? what do you think. :confused:
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Jan 21, 2008, 09:35 PM
    Well if someone is not even thinking about being married, I would say they are someone you may date, but not be living with, living with them is a commitment, and if the other person or yourself is not really ready to commit after a year, of living together,

    What is it about marriage ( still living together) sounds like he wants the ability to just walk out anytime without any legal issues.
    bumfluff123's Avatar
    bumfluff123 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jan 27, 2008, 04:09 PM
    Me (19) and my partner(20) got engaged a year ago we also have been together 4yrs and lived together 2yrs. But we had talked about family and marriage after about a year he asked me on our 3yr anniversary. We do row but never big. Maybe your bloke hasn't thought about it because you broke up for a while he might not want to rush into it and it not work out again. Maybe it could be your age he might see you guys going on holiday and hanging out more first. It could be a number of reasons but please make sure you both work on your relationship before you like about marriage it's a huge step you really only want to do once xxx
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Jan 27, 2008, 06:12 PM
    What do you want from this relationship? That's the question you need to need to answer. Are you aware of the old saying, "why buy the cow, when the milk is free?"
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