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    bobbalina's Avatar
    bobbalina Posts: 145, Reputation: 4
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    #1

    Jan 29, 2009, 07:55 AM
    I wasn't going to post this but.
    I really wasn't going to post this but I feel as if it needs to get out... I had a friend... a best friend actually since 8th grade. We were so alike in everywhich way... except the only difference in us is that I was a size 16 and she was like a 22... now we're in 11th and we're both the same size (16)... ever since this year she seems to be acting like a total slut... she's with all these guys and I'm ust in the background like I'm nothing to her anymore... and one night I was just joking with her... but then I got serious and said that she's been acting like a slut and a 'female dog'... then she got mad at me and wouldn't talk to me... well two days later I start getting all these rude, aweful messages called me all these names... I didn't know who it was at first then I found out who it was... it was another friend I had... then I was like, ' haha that's was a nice joke... ' then she was like, 'no now I'm serious... ' she kept going on and for the next week I was threatened, like she was saying she was going to kill me and everything... I thought I was never going to have any friends anymore... then my mom found out and took my phone... I got this message saying that if I keep this up then I'm going to lose all my frineds... I Didn't DO ANYTHING!. then I go back to the school and find out that my first friend I mentioned didn't tell the other friend so she wasn't trying to defend her or anything like that but I really don't know what went on... now that was all during Christmas... I started talking to the one that was my best friend and I told her I was sorry and everything but things just don't seem the same to me and the other friend... well she has been talking to me... and we've been friends since 9th grade... I just don't seem to have any friends anymore... could someone help me?
    krazymagz's Avatar
    krazymagz Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Jan 29, 2009, 11:44 AM

    You know what?! Chances are you won't have the same friends that you do now once school is over.. It happens to everybody.. you might not believe it now but I had tons of friends in school.. I talk to one of them now, only one.. its what happens.. and as for your friend, let her do what she wants, she's the one who will be given the bad reputation for what she is doing, its probably better not to be associated with her anyway...
    adam_89's Avatar
    adam_89 Posts: 1,866, Reputation: 280
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    #3

    Jan 29, 2009, 11:51 AM

    Yes, I hardly have any of the friends I had back then. Usd to my freshman and sophomore year, I couldn't walk through the hallway without a hundred people saying hey or stopping me and talking to me. Then come Junior year I had just a handfull of friends. Now, that I am out of school and engaged and have my own house, I barely see anyone anymore, but I still have a friends. Just only a couple from the beginning. It does happen. I don't think your friend is a very good example for you.
    Gernald's Avatar
    Gernald Posts: 901, Reputation: 93
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    #4

    Jan 29, 2009, 11:53 AM

    A friend is someone who sticks with you through thick and thin, someone who doesn't judge based on past mistakes, and who only wants you to be you.

    It was prbably a bad mistake telling her the truth about her "sluttyness" and I can see how she would be mad, sometimes people can't face the truth. However, her reaction and rallying of the troops was equally unacceptable and even more inappropriate. Friends don't do that to each other, they don't threaten to kill you or harrass you. Chances are that you are moving apart. Your friends will change as you get older as Krazymahz said. You probably won't ever see any of the people you go to school with now again once you graduate.

    That being said I assume for the time being that you want to keep your current "friends" and preserve your already broken relationship with your "best friend." So try asking her to do things just the two of you, go see a chick flick go shopping, get to know her again. Try not to bring up the events of December, don't even talk about what happened except to apologise (I know she needs to apologise as well, perhaps more than you, but people don't like to be wrong). If she still stays away from you and doesn't want to hang out maybe you should just look back on the good times as good and move on to bigger and better things.
    jmw0713's Avatar
    jmw0713 Posts: 1,012, Reputation: 305
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    #5

    Jan 29, 2009, 12:21 PM

    I agree with everyone above. I had so many friends in high school and going into a few years in college. I think I regularly hung out with over 20 people every weekend that I considered friends. I knew everybody from my nieghboorhood and school. They knew me. It was fun, the parts that I remember. You know how many good friends I have now from back then, out of all of them... 3.

    People grow apart as they get older. Some people end up in jail, move away, or worse dead. The point being, your true friends stay with you. All the others were just acquaintances and memories from the past. Granted I still run into some of my "friends" every once in a while. I am still "friendly" with them, but we never make plans. Everyone has there own life.

    You will see as you progress through life. I never thought I would, but I do and I'm only 26. God I feel old! :D
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #6

    Jan 29, 2009, 12:53 PM

    I was very popular in High School, I played hockey and baseball so I was a "jock" but still didn't put no one below me and talked to everyone. Want to know how many of the people from high school I still talk to? Maybe 10 and half of them are family. You grow up, change and meet new people, it's the natural order of life.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Jan 29, 2009, 06:53 PM
    Maybe its time to expand your horizons, and do something besides trying to keep your friends around you, and going through a lot of drama trying to make them like you.

    Those aren't friends, and they ain't got your back!

    What you really have is a low self esteem, that makes you dependent on others to feel good about yourself. Start being good to yourself, and be happy with yourself. Do things you enjoy.
    bobbalina's Avatar
    bobbalina Posts: 145, Reputation: 4
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    #8

    Feb 2, 2009, 05:58 AM
    Ummm? I know I should find new friends but I'm not very popular and nobody really likes to talk to the anime reading,computer geeky nerd over here in Va. And its really hard to make friends... I mean I've had these same friends ever since I've moved from Wv... but I'll see if I could find anybody :):):) thanks everybody
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #9

    Feb 2, 2009, 06:35 AM
    You think your alone? Trust me your not, stop trying to be popular, and just look around at all the quiet people nobody else notices, or talks about. They probably feel like you do.
    bobbalina's Avatar
    bobbalina Posts: 145, Reputation: 4
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    #10

    Feb 2, 2009, 07:03 AM
    I'm not trying to be popular never have never will... its just no one likes to talk to me...
    jmw0713's Avatar
    jmw0713 Posts: 1,012, Reputation: 305
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    #11

    Feb 2, 2009, 08:23 AM

    I know what that's like. I was kind of the same way when I was in school. The best thing to do, is talk try to talk to many different people. Don't wait for them to talk to you.

    Participate more in class. Ask questions about things to other students in your class.

    I think you will find things in common with others once you put forth the effort to socialize with them. You may surprise yourself in the process.:)
    neverme's Avatar
    neverme Posts: 1,430, Reputation: 270
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    #12

    Feb 2, 2009, 08:33 AM

    Your going to find a lot of people on here that can support you with words but realistically that's not going to be much help standing alone at school. So instead of coming on here and feeling bad, be proactive.

    Start a new sport or activity. It's good for your health and you can meet people you haven't talked to before there. Your never going to make people like you if they decide they don't. This isn't a problem that is only experienced while in school but it's where its most common so take a small bit of solice in that!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #13

    Feb 2, 2009, 02:48 PM

    its just no one likes to talk to me...
    That means your around the wrong people.
    bobbalina's Avatar
    bobbalina Posts: 145, Reputation: 4
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    #14

    Feb 9, 2009, 05:43 AM

    OK first off you've probably never have in your life been to my school... the only peple here are sluts,preps, and rednecks... ive been here 3 years and I don't know... sorry if it sounds like I'm not listening to any of ya'lls information I am though... its just I'm not any of those types of people... im just more of an outcast
    jmw0713's Avatar
    jmw0713 Posts: 1,012, Reputation: 305
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    #15

    Feb 9, 2009, 08:19 AM

    No we haven't, but that doesn't mean that your school was any different than my school, or anyone else's. All schools have the jocks, sluts, preps, rednecks, nerds, snobs, or whatever else you may label particular people.

    I think your problem is, you assume people have a particular image before you even talk to them. You are cutting yourself off from others by making these assumptions. Just because you may associate a label with a particular person, doesn't mean they are not friendly and nice.

    You are bringing this all on yourself. Maybe it is time to look in the mirror and see which group YOU fall in before labeling others as such.
    bobbalina's Avatar
    bobbalina Posts: 145, Reputation: 4
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    #16

    Feb 9, 2009, 08:23 AM

    I already labeled myself as an outcast... now what? I mean I've been one for many years too...
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #17

    Feb 9, 2009, 08:27 AM

    While I can't say I completely relate to you, I can in some ways. I didn't fit in to the mold of my school, but no one does. We are all trying to find ourselves during high school. We are constantly changing, I was viewed as a "jock" by some, an "outcast" from others. I played sports, but none for my school. My advice to you, which is what I did my senior year, stop caring so much about what other people think. Just go out there and be yourself. Set a goal for yourself, talk to one new person a day for the rest of the school year, you may have more in common with some people than you think.
    sylvan_1998's Avatar
    sylvan_1998 Posts: 156, Reputation: 45
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    #18

    Feb 9, 2009, 09:19 AM

    You know I was you and sort of still am. But you know what... I have more "friends" from high school than I ever did (thanks to facebook) because now I try. I did not then because I was too intimidated.

    I wish I had tried harder then. I know how hard high school is. The one thing you can not do is show weakness. You must remain true to you and maintain integrity. Meaning when someone is rude to you, it is their own insecurities and ignore them with your head held high. Keep your interests and share them when you get a chance.

    It is good advice to spread your horizons. Just because you have those interests does not mean you can not have a roll in the drama club. Or, maybe you want to join a college oriented club because you have a small interest.

    Good luck!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #19

    Feb 9, 2009, 01:52 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by bobbalina View Post
    i already labeled myself as an outcast...now what? i mean Ive been one for many years too...
    If your already outside the mainstream of the people you are around, and already fitting them into your own categories of behavior, and disdain, then its your attitude, that keeps you an outcast, not what others are really doing.

    That's how you can change yourself, if you want to, change your attitude toward others. You can accept them without doing what they do, as they are as human as you are, no matter where they fit on your judgment scale. They are no better or no worse.

    While I can respect your loner, rebel status, you don't get to use it for an excuse, to cover a bad attitude.

    Its also my experience that fear is often at the heart that outcast mentality, you reject others before they can reject you. That's just some food for thought,
    bobbalina's Avatar
    bobbalina Posts: 145, Reputation: 4
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    #20

    Feb 10, 2009, 06:59 AM
    Ummm? No offence but you sound like Gandhi or something... its just I don't get it?:confused: are you saying I have a bad attitude? Cause personally I don't think you know me very well... im more emo then anything else... everyone just makes fun of me:(

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