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penelope pitstop · Nov 20, 2007, 09:20 AM

Please could anybody give me advise on handling my eldest daughter seeing her dad with is girlfriend. I don't have a problem with her seeing her dad but his girlfriend was part of our messy separation and now divorce.I have a lot of anger still inside me towards this woman and I'm upsetting my daughter when I no she's going 2to be spending time with her.I want so much to get rid of these feelings of jealousy and anger because its causing me and my daughter to row.any advise would be much appreciated.

Ash123 · Nov 20, 2007, 10:13 AM

1) Keep your distance.
2) When you MUST interact - kill 'em with kindness!
Be an actress. It will confuse them and ultimately make your life and all around you BETTER!
3) The longer you are mad. The longer he wins.
The less you are mad, he shorter he wins.
4) Time makes pain go... So, since you can't speed up time... Let time work by keeping contact to total minimum and not obsess when you do interact.
5) one day this will be old news if you focus ELSEWHERE...
6) every obstacle is an opportunity... let this new life be YOURS!

penelope pitstop · Nov 20, 2007, 11:44 AM

I have bin keeping contact to a minimum,I find it hard because my ex texts my daughter ,she's 15,and asks her to go out with him and his girlfriend,regardless if I've planned anything and he says he's does,nt have 2 ask me because she's old enough to make her own choice.This then causes friction between me and my daughter because she then feels like piggy in the middle.I want to be happy again and to get rid of this bitterness inside me,mainly and most important for my children.

Tuscany · Nov 20, 2007, 11:52 AM

Originally Posted by penelope pitstop

I have bin keeping contact to a minimum,i find it hard cus my ex texts my daughter ,shes 15,and asks her to go out with him and his girlfriend,regardless if i,ve planned anything and he says hes does,nt have 2 ask me cus shes old enough to make her own choice.This then causes friction between me n my daughter cus she then feels like piggy in the middle.I want 2 be happy again and to get rid of this bitterness inside me,mainly and most important for my children.

It sounds to me like your husband is doing a good job putting your daughter in the middle and you should be applauded for not doing the same thing. Maybe you should sit down with your daughter and make out a schedule, Monday nights are mom nights. Wednesday nights are dad's night. The other nights can go either way, but once she commits to one parent she must stay with that commitment.

penelope pitstop · Nov 20, 2007, 12:06 PM

Yes we do have set dates in the week,it's the weekend that's the problem.he always seems to arrange things with her before I get a say and then I look like the bad guy when I object to it.I want my children to have as much contact with their father but it eats away at me when I no is girlfriends there.

Tuscany · Nov 26, 2007, 05:41 AM

So have set weekends. If she is supposed to be with you, then she is with you and dad cannot play the "cool" game and set something up for her. Tell him to save that stuff for his weekend.