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deepgladiator · Oct 2, 2010, 04:38 AM

I am 22. Our relation started before 3 yrs as frinds and took 2 n half years to realize that we are impossible to live together.we got broke up and messed up both our families, I want to be friends again to undo the damage and help her move on. Now after 3 months of gap, I want to write a letter to her to make her realize v were very very happy when we were friends and I miss her friendship. If it wasn't about love, we would still have been good friends. I think once we both learn to accept the mistake we did, we can convince our families easily and make a happily ever after story. Please help me out how can I write a letter to her in the way that she doesn't think that I'm guilty and trying to be a frind with her so that I don't have to worry about my mistake and she can understand my intension of setting the things rite

Devorameira · Oct 2, 2010, 05:39 AM

Most of the time once a friendship becomes romantic, you can never return to the same degree of friendship again. That's why I always tell people to not get romantically involved with their best friend unless they're willing to risk losing that best friend if things don't work out.

You're not going to like my advice, but I think you're better off leaving her alone. By now she's starting to heal and doesn't need you stepping in confusing her feelings.

talaniman · Oct 2, 2010, 07:10 AM

Leave her alone, and move on yourself, as she can handle her end quite nicely without you, and doesn't need you meddling trying to fix things so you can go back to what you have lost. That's not healthy, or wise, so stop being selfish, and forget the letter.

Stuff happens in life, and sometimes you don't get the ending you want, and thinking you can fix things, often makes it even worse. Live it alone, and her too.

Askingquestion · Oct 5, 2010, 09:42 PM

Yeah, if she's still that emotionally torn up over the breakup, you're not going to help things by being friends with her again. And if she needs you as a crutch to heal, that isn't going to be healthy for her either, because you may not always be there. She'll probably carry an emotional scar for most of her life, just like you will, but she'll eventually get over it. It's natural to feel guilty, but at the end of the day, you both got out of something that wasn't working - and it sounds like you're happier for it even if she may not be. So there really isn't anything to be sorry for.

Besides, a letter would only have a couple possible outcomes. First, and most likely, it would confuse her into thinking that there was still hope for a relationship between you two. Second, it could make her feel even worse in confirming that there is no chance before she slowly comes to realize that on her own. Or third, if she has already begun to move on, it could re-ignite whatever she was going through. I think the happy ending you want is only going to come through time, when you both realize that you got out of something that wasn't working.