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    sl101's Avatar
    sl101 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 2, 2011, 05:50 AM
    I want to go back to the way we were
    Hi, I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now and we are having problems in the bedroom for about 5 months now.
    At the beginning it was amazing, we couldn't get our hands of each other and it was the best id ever had. But for the last 5 months its been really really bad. It started first with him become rather lazy not want to do much in bed like he used to. There's no romance to our sex anymore he just normally says lets have sex and just come inside only lasting 5 minutes and then he would be annoyed at me because I couldn't come. But how could I when he made me feel like I was just something to be used? Now he normally doesn't want to have sex not even let me touch him a week ago I tried again and we did but you could tell he wasn't into it and he didn't even come he just said he was tired. On the rare occasion he wakes up in the middle of the night and half a sleep tries to have sex with me which normally freaks me out because he becomes very forceful and I wonder if I'm the one who's turning him on or not? So now our sex life has become nonexistent and I've tried EVERYTHING to fix it. I even offered for him to have a whole weekend where he could mess around with who ever he wanted (as long as it isn't someone we both knew) And we ended up having a huge fight because he said he couldn't be with anyone but me, I was his girl, he could never do that to me and how could I even suggest it? But I don't know what else to do I love him and I want to have sex with him but I'm also becoming less attracted to him because of this and he doesn't even seem to mind. He makes me feel lik I'm some disgusting sluty girl because I want to have sex with him like we would before where both of us were satisfied.
    I don't know what to do, breaking up isn't an option so please does anyone have a solution for this problem or at least an explanation to why he's acting like this?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Jun 2, 2011, 09:54 AM
    Communicate and solve your problem. If a couple cannot honestly express themselves with talking, and listening, then they will never be happy together, and breaking up will be a very good option.

    You can't expect things to go back to the way it was, but you can both make good adjustments to the present and the future with some honest communications, and some patients.

    The honeymoon is over, and its time for reality. How are other areas of the relationship?
    Bold_ink's Avatar
    Bold_ink Posts: 11, Reputation: 8
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    #3

    Jun 22, 2011, 09:17 PM
    Things were great for the first 5 months because this is the honeymoon phase of every relationship.

    Believe it or not SEX is a HUGE part of a happy relationship. If you are having this many problems this early on in your relationship there are more than just sex issues.

    But if the only thing you are worried about fixing is your sex life I would suggest trying new things. Maybe watching porn together or roll playing other things like this. A great book that might help is one called The Joy of Sex.

    Best of luck to the both of you.

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