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    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
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    #21

    Aug 17, 2005, 02:32 PM
    You feel me? Now, this is just a taste.

    More important than what you do and talk about is HOW you do it and talk about it. There is a way to communicate with women that prevents you from being boring. I suggest that you pay attention to the things you're learning from me so you "get it".

    IF THINGS GET BAD, BREAK UP FIRST

    Now I'm going to REALLY stick my neck out. This one is going to make the little baby hairs stand up on the backs of necks of women all over the world... If you find yourself in one of these bad situations that I mentioned above, and you sense that the woman in your life is about to leave, then BREAK UP WITH HER FIRST.

    DO IT.

    Don't hesitate. Cut the line. Hit the road. No matter what your emotions tell you to do, you have to end it FIRST. If you want to have ANY chance of having things work out in the LONG RUN, then youneed to TAKE CONTROL of the situation, and BREAK UP WITH HER. From this position, you will then be ableto see things more clearly, and she will be about 100 times more likely to want to workthings out with you.

    If you REALLY want to increase your chances of having things work out, then you should also start dating other women as well.

    But let's not talk too much about that, because I'm already in the danger zone here. If you take the time to think about it, you'll realize that breaking up with her FIRST is the best possible thing you can do.As you've heard me say quite a few times, it's important to give a woman the GIFT of

    MISSING YOU.

    Never is it more important than in one of THESE situations. I know, this is a damn hard thing to do when you're in the heat of the moment... but if you don't do it, you'll probably wind upwith her leaving... and you feeling thatlame POWERLESS feeling that I describedearlier.

    OK, so to wrap, let me talk about one more thing... As I mentioned before, the REAL thing that causes women to LEAVE comes down to the man in her life not understanding ATTRACTION and how to make her FEEL IT for him. And, as I mentioned, no woman is EVER going to TELL this to you. Instead, she's just going to LEAVE. When I first started learning all of this stuff about how to be successful with women and dating, I had NO IDEA that I would wind up solving the mystery of why women LEAVE men. I was only looking for the answer to how to get a woman in the first place... I never even thought about KEEPING one once I got her... But now I realize that this particular topicusually winds up being the most important one,because once you find that amazing woman, and get something good going, you certainly don't want to LOSE her.

    And when you find yourself in the situation, and you realize that the woman you have is about to leave... you would basically do ANYTHING to stop it. Of course, at that point it's usually TOO LATE to do anything... which sucks. So one of the most important things you can do RIGHT NOW in your life is to learn how and why women feel ATTRACTION for some men... and how to make women feel it for you.
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
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    #22

    Aug 17, 2005, 02:40 PM
    Great stuff!

    (AGAIN - you have to be actually dating and not 2 or 3 dates - and you better not have cheated on her if you were close, lied, done something horrible)

    Things you have to do if you lose her:

    1. NO and that means NO contact for at least TWO months - EVEN if she contacts you!! None. You are NOW busy - she is not a part of your life.

    2. DATE! Date! Date!

    3. Change - you have to change for the better - workout, grow your hair etc. - Learn about your inseacurites.

    4. Learn about how awful it is to be a nice guy. WHAT made you a soft wuss?

    5. Rember some of things she was attracted to when you first met. Why were you the FUN guy then.

    6. Figure out - and this takes time - what turned her off - were you too needy? Called too often and annoyed her? To insecure?

    7. Learn to be an independent man, you're abusy guy. Don't always return her calsl right away.

    8. Learn about attraction!!

    9. Learn about sex. Learn to be a sexy guy.

    10. Change your wardrobe, groom better.

    11. Read David Deangelos books, Doc Love's book etc.

    12 When you do contact her - NO Pressure - don't ask about the relationship at all. Just see how's she doing. Chat for a few minutes. Say by - busy , got to go. Call 5 days later and ask her to coffee - no dinners. Chat. Flirt a little. End the date early.
    turtlegirl's Avatar
    turtlegirl Posts: 151, Reputation: 1
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    #23

    Aug 18, 2005, 09:23 PM
    Guys: DO NOT -- I repeat DO NOT -- approach a woman by telling her to smile or telling her she looks pissed off. I get that all the time and it makes me want to kill. If you want a lady to smile, SMILE at her. If you think she might be pissed off, maybe she IS! It's not about you, anyway!

    Thanks for listening.
    sphyncx's Avatar
    sphyncx Posts: 50, Reputation: 2
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    #24

    Aug 18, 2005, 11:37 PM
    Great info Wild. I personally don't believe in a win-back but I do believe it's possible under certain conditions.

    I also believe all the new posters don't bother reading this before they post! Because everyone posts the same damn thing!!
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
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    #25

    Aug 19, 2005, 08:23 AM
    I know win back works - but it takes a lot of effort and discipline and usually the person screws it up. I went through it this year. It's tough though and you HAVE to love that person. BUt, too many people are needy of those same people. Too needy is repulsive.

    The keys are YOU have to change - AND go one with your life. No contact.

    And I agree - every post is the same here.
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
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    #26

    Aug 19, 2005, 11:51 AM
    The key is YOU have to change!! :

    What do you do?
    The first step is realizing it. Stop waiting by the phone, she won't call. There won't be a sudden knock on the door where you'll find her ready to leap back into your loving arms. It's over, get used to it. Cherish that moment and spend time alone, rediscovering your true self.

    Then purge the pain. Grab the biggest pair of pliers and yank it out. Eat like a pig, buy a new car, move into a strip club -- whatever works for you. Take karate lessons to get the aggression out. Exorcise the demon within, in a non-religious way of course.

    Next, be sure you remain busy. Bury yourself in work, set up a home bar, build yourself a hot rod, or take that work assignment to Bali. The idea is to keep your mind off that she-devil.

    Finally, get back in the proverbial saddle. You've heard the crap about there being many fish in the sea from unoriginal but well-meaning friends? There's a reason -- it's true. So get back in the game, start dating again and find that rare pearl.

    Next time...
    The malicious thing to do would be to dump her first but the fact of the matter is, there's no helping how the heart feels. It's easier when it's a mutual decision so try reading the signs that you're about to be let go before it's too late.
    turtlegirl's Avatar
    turtlegirl Posts: 151, Reputation: 1
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    #27

    Aug 22, 2005, 05:23 AM
    Hey, mine aren't the same! :p Okay how about advice on trying to work something out with a guy who seems inexperienced (in the love area) and whose friends say is shy?
    fredg's Avatar
    fredg Posts: 4,928, Reputation: 674
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    #28

    Aug 22, 2005, 06:33 AM
    Useless
    Hi,
    Wow, Wildcat, I have had much respect for you and your answers; still do.
    Hope you have been around the block many times, many experiences, etc; as I have. I don't claim to know everything, but at the same time, do know that getting bored at a computer is normal. Suggesting that someone make new friends in real life, maybe even with others to meet who has the same job or likes with a computer is still a good idea.
    A computer can become a person's whole life, and not have personal interactions with others. Sorry If I stepped on you, or anyone else. I answer questions as they are given, not as they should have been given with maybe some information left out.
    Best of luck,
    fredg
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
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    #29

    Aug 29, 2005, 12:34 PM
    Please read
    sphyncx's Avatar
    sphyncx Posts: 50, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #30

    Oct 6, 2005, 01:22 PM
    Bump
    Hi everyone by the way.
    letmeno's Avatar
    letmeno Posts: 215, Reputation: 23
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    #31

    Oct 8, 2005, 04:52 PM
    In chapter I, I don't agree with breaking down a barrier by touching her shoulder, hair or etc. Leaves too much room for smacking the sh*t out of a stranger who decided to touch me, when he doesn't even know me. Shaking a persons hand while you are introducing yourself is a much better and safer approach.

    Turtlegirl, Wildcat suggests that we women should let a guy know what we like in bed, how we want it and let them know what it is that we crave. I don't know about you but I have not had the opportunity in meeting a man who's ego is able to handle this type of constructive criticism. Easier said that done. I also agree with you when a man is not creative enough to come up with a better line to start a conversation other than "smile" or "you looked pissed off tonight." Be creative when approaching us Pleeeze. And for the life of mankind, do not use the old "don't I know you from somewhere." That one sucks too!
    sphyncx's Avatar
    sphyncx Posts: 50, Reputation: 2
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    #32

    Oct 9, 2005, 11:27 AM
    Bump, read this before you post.
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
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    #33

    Oct 9, 2005, 12:58 PM
    "I don't know about you but I have not had the opportunity in meeting a man who's ego is able to handle this type of constructive critisism."

    I don't agree with that at all. There are all sorts of ways of doing this. Don't you want your toes to curl? I personally WANT to know what makes your O? And do know it also can change a little bit - or be different every time. A REAL man would want o know.

    You can communicate this verbally. Show him. By moans. TELL HIM. Be thoughtfull how you present this.

    I tell - "You what I love....." You know what I really need.
    letmeno's Avatar
    letmeno Posts: 215, Reputation: 23
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    #34

    Oct 9, 2005, 04:46 PM
    I have a friend, she was in the middle of sexual intercourse with her guy, she told him she wanted for him to do, and how she wanted for him to do it i.e. "right there, to the left, a little harder" etc. she told me that he simply just got up. Yes, he just stopped. Told her that if she didn't like the way he did things, she should find someone who can do it better.? :confused:
    Any insight to this one?
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
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    #35

    Oct 9, 2005, 09:17 PM
    That's pretty selfish. Why wouldn't he want to do it the way SHE wants it? Every women is different - AND, like I said things change - something you liked a month ago, you might not need/loke as much now.

    Probably good ridence.

    Although - if it's a partner - it's good to talk like and dislikes AWAY from the bed - NOT before you do it. Maybe over a bottle of wine.
    kochi's Avatar
    kochi Posts: 82, Reputation: 2
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    #36

    Mar 5, 2008, 11:47 AM
    So I guess this has probably been said one way or the other, but I think men or we sometimes try to hard. Like reading these posts on the "approach." I will give my story. I used to be EXTREMELY SHY. COULD NEVER talk to anyone let alone a woman. My whole college life I spend Alooooooooone.

    So I started to talk to people, any one and everyone. At the bus top, in class, coffee shop, checking out at the grocery store etc, airport anything. At the dentist. At first I had to force myself then after a while it just came natural. I remember one time in line at the grocery store and was looking at Real Simple magazine and this cute old lady was standing there and we started talking about decorating. It was neat, felt good. So you learn to talk to people because you are genuinely interested. Now I cannot go anywhere without talking to someone. :) And I am not afraid to talk to anyone because I got no hidden agendas.

    Now if I see a girl I like, I can talk to her cause a) I'm good at it and b) So I like her, and I'm not going to "hide" it or try to be funny or this or that. i.e.. Just be yourself. In my book if you try to be something you are not, sooner or later people will find out...

    Self love. Be the best you can be and the rest takes care of itself...

    There is only one way to get better and that's by doing. You cannot be what your are not, but you can become it. Im 30 and all the things I feared growing up now seem so weird to me. I forced myself to face them.
    CaribMan's Avatar
    CaribMan Posts: 45, Reputation: 5
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    #37

    Mar 5, 2008, 06:00 PM
    OMG that david deangelo guy teaches you a lot I downloaded some of his work... right now I'm listening to "David DeAngelo - 77 Laws Of Success With Women And Dating" my mindset is just changing after each step... for me it's the best ting I ever did in my life... it helps you become a better person and the way other people will look at you.
    sphyncx's Avatar
    sphyncx Posts: 50, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #38

    Mar 6, 2008, 01:28 AM
    I'm surprised people are still replying to this.

    David D. has a salesman technique... but with ANY technique you HAVE to go out and do it... find what suits you best in what sitautions. You can read and read and watch 1000 videos... your mind set might change... but your skills in the real world have only only improved very slightly.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,232, Reputation: 10853
    Expert
     
    #39

    Mar 9, 2008, 09:27 AM
    Read all you want fellows, there is no substitute for a confident man, that knows himself well enough to be sure in himself, and be himself. Wildcat has made many points about that, and the best one was where we guys (or gals) give our partners too much power and act like marshmellows with the calls and begging. Not attractive at all and rather sad we can be reduced to jello. Keeping control, is about giving them what they ask for (space/break) and taking sole responsibility for your own happiness. Stopping contact is only a first step.

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