I started this job, met this guy from a different department that works in the same building. We talked here and there for about a week and I went up to him in a flirty way and told him he was walking me to my car. He smiled and said oh I am, am I? I said yep! Anyway he walked me to my car and we talked for about 30 minutes in the parking lot. He then said he had to get going because he had to get up early. He then asked for my number and said he would get a hold of me.

I wasn’t expecting anything from it, but the next morning he texted me and we talked the whole entire day. Then we started talking about sexual stuff and sent a picture here and there. He then asked me to come to his other job that night. I asked him why and he said to see me, hang out, and see where things go. He said don’t mistake having fun for bad intentions. So I ended up going. We ended up having sex.

Afterwards we started talking and he was asking me questions like he was trying to get to know me. Over text earlier he said he wanted us to be on the same page because he wasn’t looking for anything serious right now because he is so busy. I agreed and said we could be friends with benefits and see where things go. Well that night after sex, I made the comment of never being in a relationship together and he said that’s not what he meant. He said he didn’t mean that we might not ever be in a relationship together. So that kind of confused me. I told him I’m not expecting anything from him and that I’d rather hang out here and there, go on a date and see how things go and get to know each other better. I said if we end up together great, if not then we can just remain friends.

During sex he kept staring into my eyes like he felt a connection, could that of been what it was? He also said afterwards how great it was a couple different times and that he really needed that. So that makes me think that he isn’t sleeping with his ex anymore. Don’t you agree?

While we were talking he said he wanted me to know that his ex still has a key to his place because she takes care of his dog when he’s working long shifts. He said their relationship is over and they weren’t meant to be. The red flag to me was when he said that if I call or text and he’s at home and he doesn’t respond its because she is there and he doesn’t want the drama. Why care if your over? They use to live together but broke up a few months ago.

So after we talked a little bit that night, I left and he said he would text me the next day. I never heard a word from him. Later I went into work and saw him and he came into the office to drop something off. He had a huge smile on his face when he saw me and then winked at me and smiled again and walked away. I went out to where he was and he told me after he left work he had to meet his ex so he could get the rest of the money she owed him from the things they bought together. He said then after that he was going to bed because he was so tired. He also mentioned that his phone was dead and he thought he had his charger with him but apparently he didn’t. I guess that was his way of saying why he didn’t text me like he said he would. So he left.

Later that night I texted him a sexy picture of me and got no response. I figured maybe he was still sleeping or maybe his phone was on silent. Next morning still heard nothing from him. He ended up calling off work, which according to people, that isn’t like him to call off because he is a workaholic. So maybe he was sick and that’s why he didn’t text me? I’ll see him when I go into work later, so it will be interesting to see how he reacts towards me.

I just don’t understand what’s going on. Sounds like there are a lot of mixed signals/emotions. Maybe he feels a connection with me and got scared and backed off? Why would you stare into my eyes during sex? Why would you be so honest about your ex if you had no intentions with me? If he didn’t tell me then I would never of known, so why tell me? Why text me the whole entire day and beg me to come see you? Why act so happy to see me and wink at me? What does all this mean? Is he just messing with me and using me or is he into me but is afraid to get close? Or is he testing me to see if I’m going to be clingy? I haven’t said anything to him since I sent him that picture the other night. I figured he can contact me. Why sit there and tell me that he will do his best to hang out with me because he has limited free time?

It’s just weird, just seems like there is more there, but then he stopped talking. Maybe he did get scared. Who knows? It’s hard not to contact him because first off I want to talk to him and secondly its eating me up inside on why he hasn’t said anything to me. I really just want to ask him, but I don’t want him thinking I’m being clingy. What should I do?? Give me as much advice as possible, because this is all eating at me and I’m confused!! I want to talk to him so bad. He knows he has to see me at work and said he doesn’t like drama, so what the hell does he think he’s doing now by not contacting me? We have the same off days this week so I was kind of waiting to see if he would ask me to do something. But I kind of want to ask him so I know whether we will see each other so I can find out what’s going on!

Oh now stop this. You came on to him in a very casual way and jumped right into bed with him. Fine, but now practically immediately you are all in a tizzy about feelings. Looking into your eyes during sex? Means absolutely nothing. If you fall for guys this easily, it's time to back off from all of them until you meet one the old fashioned way, where you talk and talk and finally go for a walk and an ice cream and then finally go on a date and then after some more dates, you finally have sex, knowing a LOT more about each other than this.
He's seeing his ex, I'll bet. But what do we total strangers know? Even you don't know what he's doing. Take a deep breath and force yourself to let it go until you do know, and don't start asking around or contacting him. Wait. If it was a flash in the pan, so be it.

'was I used or is he interested and testing me?' Neither, I think. You came on to him and he liked you enough. What enough means remains to be seen. It might be very occasional, very casual, and as you said, friends with benefits.

You weren't used at all since you agreed to be sex buddies whether it leads anywhere or not. That's what friends with benefits mean no strings attached sex. Now you think something is up, and its not. When he wants you for more sex he will be back, but for now he is doing what he always does, his own thing.

What guy turns down free easy sex?

I think he liked having sex with you when it is convenient for him. You threw yourself at him and you were easy. He took what you offered. I also think his ex is probably not his ex. He was cheating and probably got caught. Or maybe he has decided to go back to her.
If you are going to have "friend with benefits" relationships, stop worrying about what they feel or not feel. It should be irrelevant. If you want a real relationship, get to know a person before you start having sex with them.