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cutie08 · Nov 28, 2005, 05:37 PM

Really like two ofmy ex boyfriends one I think hates me well he tells me he likes me and stuff but he's only mentioned me giving him head and I said no then he asked if we could be friends with benefits that's what we were before we didn't have a cometment but all we did was makeout and cuddle but we still didn't see other people but we never did make a cometmentso you I think his idea of friends with benifts is diff than most guys and he told me he loved me all the time but then we got in this fight and he thought I lied to him but I didn't and stuff like that but you now he's telling me he still likes me and I donno wt to do and then the 2nd guy has a date this weekend and we brokeup because he said I wasn't his type witch I totally respect but I still like him and I told him so he knows and we are still friends... is there anyway you guys could help I need advice on what to do and how to get one of these guys back or make them jelouse or something please help I love them so much

PrettyLady · Nov 28, 2005, 07:45 PM

Your ex boyfriends sound like jerks. You are better off without them, they will strip you of yourself worth if you continue to see them. Move on with your life, hang out with your friends, and get involve with school activities. Your young, you will meet a lot of guys in your time, and you will find a guy that treats you right.

DJ 'H' · Nov 29, 2005, 03:53 AM

Neither one of this guys sounds worth it. They really don't deserve you. You may want one of them but probably because you don't want to be on your own and you may enjoy the attention they give you every so often. (I was like that when I was younger). But they only want you on their terms. They are using you as if you were a toy. They will play with you when they want to and throwyou back in the cupboard when they are board.

Don't let these guys do this to you - they will only mess your head up. Get out there and enjoy life as you should - a nice guy will come along when you least expect it.

fredg · Nov 29, 2005, 05:44 AM

Hi,
I agree with the other two answers you have received.
These guys are only "using you".
I know that really liking someone is hard when they don't respect you, but you have to meet some new boys.
Please don't talk with these two boys, don't communicate with them at all.
Meet some new boys, and talking with them will really help forget about these other two.
I do wish you the best of luck.

talaniman · Dec 3, 2005, 10:16 PM

Leave all the guys alone till you get your head together about what you want and need in life or you will find yourself messin' with nothing but jerks.Leave the games alone they only hurt people and tend to backfire,good guys hate games. :) good luck.

Chery · Dec 4, 2005, 01:40 AM

Originally Posted by cutie08

really like two ofmy ex boyfriends one i think hates me well he tells me he likes me and stuff but hes only mentioned me giving him head and i said no then he asked if we could be friends with benefits thats wat we were before we didnt have a cometment but all we did was makeout and cuddle but we still didnt see other ppl but we never did make a cometmentso ya i think his idea of friends with benifts is diff than most guys and he told me he loved me all the time but then we got in this fight and he thought i lied to him but i didnt and stuff like that but ya now hes telling me he still likes me and i donno wt to do and then the 2nd guy has a date this weekend and we brokeup because he said i wasnt his type witch i totally respect but i still like him and i told him so he knows and we are still friends.....is there anyway you guys could help i need advice on wat to do and how to get one of these guys back or make them jelouse or something please help i love them so much

Sorry to burst your bubble, but you don't 'love' them. You are at an age where you think it's cool to have someone, just because everyone else is supposed to and it's just lust, experimentation in newly found sexuality. So, you get passed from one to the other and the only ones that win are them, not you. You need a little self-respect even if it's not the 'in' thing in your surroundings right now, but if you don't gather yourself and reflect upon what you are doing now, you will really hate yourself when you do find the right partner and are too messed up to notice it because you did not give yourself a chance to get to know the real you and what you really want. You are just a toy to those jerks right now, and you know what you did with your old toys as a kid - they wound up in a corner or in the trash. This should not happen to a human being - but your are being treated as such, so stop following the 'crowd' now before it's too late and plan for a healthy independent future, start liking yourself more, and when satisfied in this way, you will be ready to share some prime time and happiness with someone who respects you. Take a serious look inside, and good luck. No more games, please.

Take a real good look into the future before it's too late.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 4, 2005, 06:40 AM

No commitments no "benifits" you are merely accepted a much lower relationship for sexual pleasures.

There are plenty of great people who will want to just like you and be a boyfriend and not except all sorts of "benifits" they want the relationship for the sake of the relationshiop.

Start just saying NO, all the time, this will weed out real friends from those that are finding sex without having to pay for it on the street.

JoeCanada76 · Dec 4, 2005, 07:10 AM

I agree with other peoples advice. One comment I would make is that you mentioned how you would like to make them jealous because you want one of them back. Jealousy is not something to play with, do not play that game. Leave them both alone and move on.

Joe

soccerchick790 · Nov 29, 2008, 12:24 PM

I'm 18 years old and been in this same situation many times. But as I got older I realized that the perfect guy is out there somewhere... why settle for less? They've both hurt you in some way or another. The "friends with benefits" guy seems like a real jerk and he needs to grow up & you need to stop letting him use you. The other guy might be a good guy but he turned you down so obviously he doesn't realize what he gave up.. so show him what he's missing. Not by making him jealous or anything, but just by being yourself and having fun with your friend to get him off your mind. Maybe in the process you'll find a guy who will love you and give you the respect that you deserve.:)

Chery · Nov 29, 2008, 02:21 PM

Originally Posted by soccerchick790

i'm 18 years old and been in this same exact situation many times. But as i got older i realized that the perfect guy is out there somewhere... why settle for less? They've both hurt you in some way or another. The "friends with benefits" guy seems like a real jerk and he needs to grow up & you need to stop letting him use you. The other guy might be a good guy but he turned you down so obviously he doesn't realize what he gave up.. so show him what he's missing. Not by making him jealous or anything, but just by being yourself and having fun with your friend to get him off your mind. Maybe in the process you'll find a guy who will love you and give you the respect that you deserve.:)

Hi dear..
If you take the time to look at the dates instead of just the titles of posts, you might benefit more.
You are lucky that I did not delete my subscription to this thread or nobody would have looked.
It is a thread from the year 2005 and the original poster is probably long gone.
This happens to us too when we just get started on a forum, so don't fret. Just wanted to let you know so that you will not waste your valuable time on old threads or posts.

Enjoy your stay here with us on AMHD!

LifeChangesMan · Nov 29, 2008, 02:25 PM

MOVE ON! Sounds like your being sexually used, and no one deserves that, you deserve better get on with your life!

Chery · Nov 29, 2008, 03:02 PM

Originally Posted by LifeChangesMan

MOVE ON! sounds like your being sexually used, and no one deserves that, you deserve better get on with your life!

HELLOOOOOOOO! Can you read and understand that this thread is THREE YEARS OLD??
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/newrep...eply&p=1399609
Please don't waste your time on old stuff, there are enough newer issues on this forum you can get involved in if you check the dates..

It happens to many, but will get easier as long as you are observant.

Enjoy your stay here on AMHD.

LifeChangesMan · Nov 29, 2008, 03:04 PM

Lol, good call! Didn't even realize maybe they will check back now and be like wow he was right!

Chery · Nov 29, 2008, 03:20 PM

Maybe, but I doubt it. The poster is probably in a better relationship by now and very happy, otherwise would still be here crying... Life does go on and Time does heal. You'll learn that and more during your own healing process.

Enjoy your stay here on AMHD and keep us updated on your thread...