Check out some similar questions!

kwils010 · Sep 6, 2011, 10:27 AM

Ok, here is the situation. Before I met my wife, I was engaged to another woman. After I married my wife, me and this other girl continued to talk as friends on myspace and text. My wife and I have been married for 7 years now and I feel like our marriage is falling apart. Three months ago, my wife saw that me and this other girl were texting each other. She saw that I asked her if I should leave my wife. Well this has put my wife in a rage for the last few months. I have done everything that I can do to try to get the trust back, but she is not willing to let things go. I have been slowly becoming more and more unhappy in the marriage over the years. Yes; I should not have been talking to my ex, but now I am to the point where my wife does not trust me, she is unhappy and I am even more unhappy. What can I due to get her trust back or is it time to call it quits.

Homegirl 50 · Sep 6, 2011, 10:41 AM

You have been deceiving her for a long time and if you had not got caught would you still be deceiving her?
It's no wonder she does not trust you. It takes time to regain trust.
If you really want your marriage to work go to counseling and help her get through this, if not be honest and end the marriage.

JoeCanada76 · Sep 6, 2011, 10:56 AM

Counseling is the only option right now for you and for her. Ask her if she is willing to go. If not, start counseling yourself. It will take time. That is if you want to work on your marriage. If she wants to work on it. It sounds like though you have not been happy in your marriage. It sounds like you had thoughts about leaving it. Counseling and then through counseling decide what is the best decision.

vanheart · Sep 8, 2011, 02:31 AM

This is all up to you.

You can't have 2 women here.

Which one do you want?

"She saw that I asked her if I should leave my wife"

Disgusting. If I was your wife, I would split after I saw that.
I wouldn't wait around for more disrespect from you.

You need to be honest w/yourself & your wife. Once & for all.

"I have been slowly becoming more and more unhappy in the marriage over the years"
Sounds like zero communication. Plus you never got over your ex.

Homegirl 50 · Sep 8, 2011, 06:11 AM

You went in to this marriage deceiving your wife. How can you expect her to forgive you over night?
I think you are still looking for someone to tell you to leave. Be a man make a decision (either stay and fight for your marriage or leave)

Cat1864 · Sep 8, 2011, 07:44 AM

When you first noticed your marriage was having problems, did you try to fix them or did you let them pile up? From what little you have said here, it almost seems like you put more effort into communicating with your ex than you did with your wife.

If your wife thought you had a good marriage and things were going well, then she probably is extremely hurt and feels betrayed. Those are feeling she has to work through to be able to let go and allow the trust to be rebuilt. Counseling would probably help her and the marriage.

What have you done to try to rebuild the trust? Are you still in contact with the ex? Are you blaming your wife for you getting into what sounds like an emotional affair? Are you taking responsibility for your own actions?

A very big question: Are there children involved?

mmresd · Sep 8, 2011, 12:37 PM

Is completely your call, you made your bed by cheating, and now you will have to sleep on it by one of two ways. You can either work really hard, and it will take a LONG time for her to be able to trust you again (if it is even possible for her to do so), or you can end the relationship and try again with someone else, you may have hurt her enough for her to call it quits on you though.