Hi everyone,

I would be grateful if you could give me some advice on my little issue...

Basically I have been going out with my boyfriend, Stefan for 8 months. I am 21 and he is 33. He is divorced and has 2 young children from his previous marriage.

I love him and wouldn't give him up for the world, but recently we have have had a huge row.

A few days ago, he told me that he didn't want to have children and didn't want to get married as he had done it all before, etc. etc. and that he still wanted to be with me.

I was very upset about it and cried, but told him that I needed more time to think about it.

I understand that he gets a little jealous if I have a few male friends, so I lied to him about meeting one of my male friends, later on in the week, just so he wouldn't get into a hissy fit or be worried about anything. This is the second time I lied to him, just to stop him from getting unnessesarily worried.

The first time around, we argued, but I said that I wouldn't do it again.

The second time, he surprised me by saying that he was home, but in fact, he was actually at my place when I was out, so basically he caught me out.

When I got back, I told him that nothing was going on, and that my friend Rich, was just a mate, but we had a huge row in front of Rich, who was brave enough to stay throughout our whole barney...

Still, Stefan was angry that I lied to him, but I hadn't cheated on him at all, and would NEVER cheat on him.

The truth is, I was upset about the whole marriage and baby matter... I liked the idea of kids etc. but its not like I wanted to get pregnant right away! Obviously I would have to have a secure home and job first, but When he told me what his thoughts were, I was so jealous of his other kids!

Since then, I found comfort talking To Rich and his mate Amy who I am really good friends with, and Rich understands what I am saying, even though he is 18, he is very mature etc. and he understands both our points of view. After all, he did sit through our argument!

Me and Rich get on very well, and I don't want to lose him as a friend, and I love Stefan ever so much... but I don't know how I can regain his trust...

Please tell me, what should I do? I always thought I had the answers, but I just don't. I love Stefan because he has been so good to me and has helped me out in hard times, but Rich is also a good mate, though now he is moving away, though I still want to keep in touch with him and Amy.

Please let me know how I can sort this out and let me know what you think...

Thank you x

First of all - WHY would you lie to him? Ridiculous. Grow up. He should leave you for that.

You're too young and imature for him.

I think Stefan should move on.

You owe Stefan huge. A nice 4 star dinner, perhaps?

You know what, you guys are all probably right and I would have accepted it...

Until I found out that he's been sleeping with Carly, his workmate, all along.

Oh well.

Well that's horrible. I am sorry to hear that. That's crewed up.

Please eneded with this guy and find a man you can trust.

Hi Kimmie,

Sorry to hear the bad news!
Although it makes no difference now, I would just like to add a few comments in response to your original message.

I don't think you should have lied, for the simple reason that I don't think you ever needed to - this guy should really have understood that you have male friends, and quite frankly if he was jealous of this, that was HIS problem not yours!

The fact that he could not see that his behaviour had driven you to this is again another failing on his part.

My advice - don't ever let a man dictate to you, who you can and cannot see. If you have no good reason to lie i.e. you are not cheating, then don't lie - you don't need to, if he doesn't like it he isn't worth it!

Good luck with the future xx