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    hayley16's Avatar
    hayley16 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Feb 13, 2010, 11:24 PM
    Torn between two guys
    I have been dating a guy for a year and a half. I absolutely adored him for so long. We did everything together, and every fight we would get into I would just put up with, because I didn't want to lose him. He was somewhat controlling, to the point where he wouldn't want me to go out alone, he always wanted to be together. That was fine with me for so long, but then my ex boyfriend came back into the picture.
    I spent the day with him, and my boyfriend found out. Needless to say, we broke up. My ex and I had a lot of history. We lost our virginity to each other at 14 and 16, we were so crazy about each other. But we were so young that it ended up not being healthy for us to continue, because we weren't in the same place as each other. I didn't know how to show someone I loved them,and he felt lost when I wouldn't. We always kind of stayed in touch, and we would hook up a couple times after we broke up.
    Once I got this new boyfriend, we cut off contact. Being with him for that day was incredible. The romance was there, the magic, like never before. We had both grown up so much that we were able to show that love to each other that we've had all along. It was unlike anything I've ever felt. And I don't know if I'm mistaking that for love, or if it's just a physical thing.
    My more current boyfriend wants to get back together. I do love him, but I feel like our flame has died,and I'm afraid to start back up again. Right now it's simply not possible for the ex and I to date, for various reasons. But we said after another year or so we'd try to give it a shot. I don't want to lose the most current boyfriend, but I know I will if I don't get back togheter with him right now.
    I just don't know how to pick between them. They both have such good qualities, and a few bad ones. Do I go for the amazing physical relationship and let it build for another year, to see what can come out of it as a legitimate commitment? Or do I go for the one I'm comfortable with, that I've been with for so long, and give it all another chance? PLEASE HELP ME!
    rosemcs's Avatar
    rosemcs Posts: 325, Reputation: 47
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    #2

    Feb 13, 2010, 11:41 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by hayley16 View Post
    my more current boyfriend wants to get back together. I do love him, but i feel like our flame has died,and i'm afraid to start back up again. Right now it's simply not possible for the ex and i to date, for various reasons. but we said after another year or so we'd try to give it a shot.
    You have answered your own question. NEITHER.

    A controlling relationship is not positive and healthy. Give your heart time to decide, there is no rush.
    dynocompe's Avatar
    dynocompe Posts: 331, Reputation: 56
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    #3

    Feb 14, 2010, 08:12 AM

    Do you not think your boyfriend had a reason to not want you to go out without him? The first chance you do, your out with your ex boyfriend! Usually when a partner gets jealous/controlling, there is a reason, and I can definitely see why! Sorry to be so mean.
    But I agree with the above post, NEITHER, you will not give neither of them your full love or commitment, so don't waste there time and heart ache
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Feb 14, 2010, 08:47 AM

    Neither, simply because you don't know what you want, and should find out before you can reach a decision.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #5

    Feb 14, 2010, 09:23 AM

    Neither gets my vote as well.
    Be single and find out what you want from life.
    You don't have to be in a relationship to be a happy person.

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