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ejane456 · Jul 23, 2012, 02:45 PM

I'm wondering if I'm putting myself through too much grief. I'm 22 years old and have been dating my boyfriend (we'll call him Steve) about 2 years. We love each other, but both seem to have some issues that continue to pop up.

I met him through a few of my, at the time, best friends (Emily and Kate) who were twin sisters and raised in the same time that Steve grew up in. They used to encourage us to date, but we both were busy with other things that took top priority (school, NCAA sports), so we remained friendly acquaintances.

A few years later we discovered a passion for each other. We hooked up at a party and started going on dates after to see if we were compatible (sex aside). Emily became very angry with me for sleeping with him, and although she had a serious boyfriend, I don't think she realized just how much she liked Steve.
I didn't tell Steve about this tension right away, not wanting to fuel a fire.

After fight night with Emily, I tried to just continue on. While still getting to know Steve in the beginning of our dating stage, I was slept with another person, nothing serious, just plain fun. I felt bad about it because I knew I liked Steve, and also knew he probably wasn't seeing other people while I was. I didn't tell Steve this, and about a month later, we had the "so, what are we? talk" and established ourselves as exclusive partners. And we have been for 2 years now.

Things with Emily never got better, unfortunately. I felt really guilty, and couldn't figure out what I had done to make things so bad, and for months there was a lot of silence and tension. And to make things worse, she heard from a friend about my one night stand from the beginning of my dating stage with Steve, but didn't bring it up until it was too late. She asked me if I cheated on Steve, and I replied, "of course not". And was raging mad that she didn't ask me sooner, and didn't bother to tell me how upsetting it was for her, but mostly embarrassed that my personal details were out in the open, and that anyone would think I would cheat.

I think she genuinely believes that I cheated on Steve and it breaks my heart. I also know that another friend of theirs, named Amy (and of Steves) believes I have not been loyal or fair to him.

Steve has had moments where he wasn't sure who to believe. He know realized that we weren't on the same page at the very beginning of our relationship, and it really upset him when he found out. It made him question his loyalty to me, and he said that he now understood why the twins were upset at me for dating him. Almost to the point where he called it off. I almost broke up with him recently while out on the town with Steve, Amy and some others. While at a bar, I walked around to talk to some of my friends and Amy asked Steve, "are you okay with that?" As if he should be worried. He was very cold to me the rest of the night and gave a lot of attention to Amy instead. It really hurt my feelings, and I realized that my boyfriend trusted his friend over me. He has appoligized since then and has suggested we go to counseling. We've made up since then, but it still hurts. I feel like I have caused a lot of tension between what used to be a tight knit group of friends. And I often worry that my college lifestyle really screwed things up.

What are your thoughts? Would you work at it the relationship or start over with someone else?

Thank you for reading!

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