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    imzz46's Avatar
    imzz46 Posts: 37, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Oct 16, 2008, 02:54 AM
    I told him how I felt.
    I tried talking to my boyfriend about all the things that have been upsetting me lately. I told him I was unhappy because he hasn't made any effort to see me lately and that we don't talk as much...

    I told him that it made me upset when he told me that the two of us going out for dinner was an "expensive way of living" but he's gone out with his mates for dinner and to gamble a number of times in the past month.

    I told him that I don't feel like he's there supporting me and I told him that whenever I try to confront him with any issue he totally ignores it and brushes it off.

    He told me, "I'm sorry you feel like that."... I then asked him to say more... I told him he can defend himself... that he can get angry at me and tell me all the awful things I do... But he didn't.

    He told me he agreed with everything I'd said. He told me he loved me.

    I asked him what he thought should happen. He said, "I don't know."

    I wanted him to say more... But he didn't.

    I told him that I didn't know what else to say and that I'd told him how I feel so now I would wait until he has more to say or knows what to do.

    Was this the right approach?. I'm so confused. There's such a big part of me that wishes he didn't just simply agree. I don't know what I'm now suppose to do.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,215, Reputation: 10853
    Expert
     
    #2

    Oct 16, 2008, 06:16 AM

    Why should you wait on him to say something when you can make your own decision.

    Be unavailable and busy, and leave him alone. Do something else with your life and meet new people.

    Don't look back. His point was clear as his actions speak louder than his words, so take the hint and stop waiting. There is a big world, full of happiness, find it.
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
    Software Expert
     
    #3

    Oct 16, 2008, 08:15 AM

    You expressed your feelings about things, he listened, he didn't argue, he acknowledged your feelings and expressed sympathy for what you're feeling.

    Since this was your conversation, not his, I suggest to you his answer(s) were brilliant. He was respectful and quiet and listened and confirmed. It doesn't sound like he tried to talk you out of your feelings nor put down your position in any way. Since he doesn't share the feelings you expressed, he didn't find it necessary to explain how you are wrong. Wow, good for him.

    You can wish he said more, but that doesn't mean anything bad has occurred here. Sounds like you two are communicating. You aren't agreeing, but that's not the end of the world.

    When you two stop communicating and being respectful of each other's opinions, that's the end of the world.

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