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jus4me · Oct 30, 2008, 04:45 AM

I am into d relationship from past 7 yrs. But these days my guy asked me to give him some space... when we have a fight... I know he loves me a lot... he says I haved Changed a lot. The problem with me is I think a lot. Can you suggest me ways how can I keep myself busy. Well I don't have too many friends as well... I cannot understand what to do... where the life is going... :confused:

tickle · Oct 30, 2008, 05:13 AM

I get the impression that you're your life is centered around your b/f when you say that you think a lot and you don't have many friends. Seven years is a long time with one b/f so I can see this happening.

You must give him space if he wants it. Otherwise you are going to endanger what you already have with him. He probably feels stifled.

Keeping yourself busy is getting out and enjoying your life more on your own, which isn't bad, sometimes 'on your own' can have benefits in finding yourself, thinking about the future, seeing what wrong choices you have with your b/f. Clearing your head so you can have more quality time with him and you will both enjoy each other more.

Krs · Oct 30, 2008, 05:13 AM

Why did he ask you for space?
Because you argued?

How about joining a gym..
Start aerobic classes.

talaniman · Oct 30, 2008, 05:18 AM

How about some background, such as ages, are you both working, are there kids in the picture, do you live together??

Krs · Oct 30, 2008, 05:21 AM

Was about to ask for those details too.

starbuck8 · Oct 30, 2008, 05:23 AM

First off, a guy that asks for "his space" is giving you a classic line. It means, I don't want to spend time with you, I want to be away from you, and our relationship is not giving me what I need anymore. This is usually when they are either cheating on you already, or at least thinking about it. Even if you have changed, I wouldn't shoulder the whole blame. I'm sure he's not the same guy that you first fell in love with either, and it takes two to make a relationship work or fail. So you are not the only one to blame.

What are your interests? Do you like arts or crafts? Do you like sports? Do you like music? Do you like reading? Have you ever tried volunteer work? It would be nice to know where your interest lie, so we could give you more specific idea's and advice. :)

starbuck8 · Oct 30, 2008, 05:25 AM

I guess we were all answering at the same time, with some of the same thoughts... haha!

tickle · Oct 30, 2008, 08:12 AM

Hi starbuck, I didn't get the same take as you. They have been together seven years and the poster probably knows she is making her b/f her whole world and he does too feeling as I said 'stifled'. That's why he wants space, but I don't think it is an end to the relationship. You don't throw seven years out the window.

JBeaucaire · Oct 30, 2008, 08:17 AM

Seven years is enough time. You only have one life to live, sweetie. Start paying attention. Time for you two make this thing happen or get on to the next thing.

starbuck8 · Oct 30, 2008, 08:37 AM

Originally Posted by tickle

hi starbuck, I didnt get the same take as you. They have been together seven years and the poster probably knows she is making her b/f her whole world and he does too feeling as I said 'stifled'. Thats why he wants space, but I dont think it is an end to the relationship. You dont throw seven years out the window.

Perhaps I should have elaborated a little more Tickle. I didn't mean for her to throw it all away. Seven yrs. Is a long time, and not something to just give up on. There were some good points that everyone made, and I agreed with most of what was said. But, I also wanted to point out from first hand experience, that even in a long term relationship, when a man says 'I need my space', many times it really does mean 'get out of my space'... because I've found someone else that excites me, and she makes me feel better, and you have changed... which is basically what she said that he said to her. I have been through this, and seen way to many other women hurt, not to warn her what the reality may be if she doesn't get her own interests. I may have not expressed that in the manner it was meant. I wasn't suggesting that she get rid of him, but only trying to open her eyes as to what may be going on. I hope this isn't the case, but it doesn't sound to me like there is much communication going on here.