I am a 20 year old woman. My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time tonight, and I had to stop him because I started to cry. The problem is, I can't tell if I was crying because it hurt or if I was scared.
I was date raped one year ago, and I haven't had or even gotten close to sex with anyone since then. I have a very high level of trust for my boyfriend and I feel very very comfortable around him. I am afraid that maybe I cried because of what happened to me last year.
I also could not tell if I was feeling pleasured, or pain. Granted, it's been a while since my lady parts have been stimulated (with my consent), so it could have just hurt, right? It felt good, yet kind of painful at the same time.
Also, this was the first time I had EVER had sex with a condom. Before, I was on the pill and never used protection. However, I am not on the pill anymore and I really don't want a baby right now! Could the condom have something to do with it?
Maybe I am being over freaked out about this, but it made me so freaked out when I realized I had tears rolling down my cheeks. He too was very concerned, and kept asking me what was wrong... but I didn't know what to tell him.
Any thoughts would be appreciated. Obviously, there probably isn't a right answer, but any suggestions or personal experiences would be appreciated. Thanks!