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    Lch1589's Avatar
    Lch1589 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Feb 12, 2007, 02:23 PM
    Stuck between two guys!
    So me and my ex broke up about 2-3 months ago, and we didn't talk for a month and I still loved him and kind of do. So we started talking again, and he's hitting on me and being really sweet and he totally wants me back. We have so much chemistry and I really care about him with all my heart.. sounds great! But no...
    In that time I met a new boy, who really likes me as well. He asked me out, but I told him it was too soon and I couldn't promise anything. He always buys me things, writes me songs, he's so sweet only he's not as physically attractive as my ex as we don't have the sexual chemistry
    They are BOTH so sweet, and I like them both so much... how do I decide which one to be with? I still love my ex, but I really like this new guy too and I don't want to break his heart.
    Its so ironic because for weeks all I could think about was my ex, and now I might not even want him again? Sigh :(
    Nohitter410's Avatar
    Nohitter410 Posts: 187, Reputation: 50
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Feb 12, 2007, 02:30 PM
    Well if you look at your answer you basically made up your mind in my opinion.

    Mainly about your new guy. You describe him and say he isn't as good looking as your ex but he buys you things but you don't want to end it with him sorely based on the fact that you don't want to hurt his feelings.

    But you then describe your ex saying you have great chemistry and love him with all your heart. Here is the biggest question you need to answer for all of us? He is your ex for a reason what went wrong. The grass is always greener on the other side which is why you have a new man then when the grass doesn't look as good as it did you look back and want what you left in the first place.

    You have only been broken up 2-3 months and you already have a new man. To me that doesn't show that you took the time for yourself. And neither of you truly did. I would say definitely break up with the new guy unless you enjoy letting him buy you whatever you want why you string him along and then break his heart which would be very shallow. You are obviously using him. As for your ex I would say continue talking to him but don't go back into a relationship with him. You need some you time but if that is what you want I wish you the best.
    Skell's Avatar
    Skell Posts: 1,863, Reputation: 514
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    #3

    Feb 12, 2007, 03:45 PM
    Neither of them. Your indecision is an indication that you aren't ready to have a boyfriend at all.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #4

    Feb 12, 2007, 04:11 PM
    I agree with Skell as the confusion over who to date means you have a lot of thinking to do.
    kristynn's Avatar
    kristynn Posts: 502, Reputation: 66
    Senior Member
     
    #5

    Feb 12, 2007, 06:31 PM
    Such "triangles" are hard to deal with. Believe me, I know what I'm saying.

    However, the truth is that there must be one who deserves you better. Only you can find out who that one is.

    If you really love your ex, then why did you two broke up? Was there a serious reason or just a simple "fight"? If there's something that he did, beware that can happen again. OR he comes back to you because he's currently single... I do not know, I'm just saying...

    If you do choose your ex (again), then there's nothing wrong being friends with this new guy. You're mentionning that you really love your ex, yet you do not really mention your feelings about this new guy. In this case, isn't the choice obvious?
    kristynn's Avatar
    kristynn Posts: 502, Reputation: 66
    Senior Member
     
    #6

    Feb 12, 2007, 06:32 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Skell
    Neither of them. Your indecision is an indication that you arent ready to have a boyfriend at all.
    I disagree.
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
    Uber Member
     
    #7

    Feb 12, 2007, 06:37 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Skell
    Neither of them. Your indecision is an indication that you arent ready to have a boyfriend at all.
    I agree, It is better not to be with either one of them. It is better for her to enjoy her own time and improve on herself.

    Joe
    Skell's Avatar
    Skell Posts: 1,863, Reputation: 514
    Ultra Member
     
    #8

    Feb 12, 2007, 09:00 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Jesushelper76
    I agree, It is better not to be with either one of them. It is better for her to enjoy her own time and improve on herself.

    Joe
    Spot on Joe and thanks! If she can't be clear and precise with what she wants how can she expect a partner to be clear and precise with her.

    I bet she would be the first person to come complaining when the partner drops her because he is not sure what he wants!

    It isn't a game where you play with people emotions. If you aren't sure then stay away!
    AKaeTrue's Avatar
    AKaeTrue Posts: 1,599, Reputation: 272
    Ultra Member
     
    #9

    Feb 12, 2007, 09:48 PM
    Both guys have qualities that you like; however, it also sounds like both of them are missing that extra little ump that tells you "there the one".
    If your unsure of these two guys, there's nothing wrong with choosing neither and being single for a while . The only way you'll ever find Mr.Right is if you're available.
    My advice would be to follow YOUR feelings. Don't worry about the nice guys feelings. If your not attracted to him, it probably won't last - you'd be doing him a favor by breaking it off early.
    Take the time to think over the reasons you and your ex broke up in the first place. For instance, what was the break based on and have those circumstances changed.
    Or, you could choose neither which would give you the opportunity to find someone you have no doubts about.

    Kae

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