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    chace_don_C's Avatar
    chace_don_C Posts: 53, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 1, 2013, 01:54 AM
    I still miss my ex but I'm seeing someone else now. What do I do?
    Ok so I was aware my ex didn't want anything to do with me its been a few months and I still miss her but I met someone else and I'm seeing them. But now it seems my ex is trying to see if I'm over her with out me knowing, but I know its her, and if she wants me back.

    I don't know what I'm going to do cause I like the girl I'm seeing but of course still miss my ex. If my ex wants me back I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt either of them and of course I'm going to want my ex back if she wants me back, but I don't want to risk anything causing the girl I'm seeing to hate me and I definitely don't want my ex being hurt, or hating me again, or even more.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #2

    Oct 1, 2013, 04:32 AM
    Odds are 99 to 1 that your ex is just curious. LET IT GO. Ignore her snooping and asking around. Often an ex will regret the decision to break up just because they can't handle being alone, or because they got into a rebound relationship that was a disaster.

    And f you got back together, odds are again 99 to 1 that it won't last the second time either.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #3

    Oct 1, 2013, 05:54 PM
    Do not risk it all seeing if she would want to make it work. She is your ex for a reason. Often a person will romanticize the good times and forget why they broke up. Then get back together only to break up again because they remember why they broke up the first time.
    chace_don_C's Avatar
    chace_don_C Posts: 53, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Oct 1, 2013, 08:29 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by N0help4u View Post
    Do not risk it all seeing if she would want to make it work. She is your ex for a reason. Often a person will romanticize the good times and forget why they broke up. Then get back together only to break up again because they remember why they broke up the first time.
    Don't say she's my ex for a reason that stuff is stupid and annoying
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #5

    Oct 2, 2013, 05:18 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by chace_don_C View Post
    don't say shes my ex for a reason that stuff is stupid and annoying
    This is a relationships board. You asked for advice. Please don't tell anyone who gives a reasonable response that their words are stupid and annoying. I for one am sorry now that I responded at all, unless you are willing to apologize to the previous person.
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
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    #6

    Oct 2, 2013, 05:32 AM
    Agreed. And maybe your posting should have also contained "Only respond with information that I want to hear - not information that may challenge my thinking."
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,282, Reputation: 10853
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    #7

    Oct 2, 2013, 08:06 AM
    Your whole dilemma is YOU refusing to let go of the past and embrace the future. You keep looking backward and wanting it again. That's false hope, and it's more annoying and stupid than half steppin' and deceiving the girl you have now but would leave if the ex farted sweetly in your ear.

    Can't you see you are doing this to YOURSELF? And to the new girl?
    chace_don_C's Avatar
    chace_don_C Posts: 53, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Oct 2, 2013, 04:19 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    This is a relationships board. You asked for advice. Please don't tell anyone who gives a reasonable response that their words are stupid and annoying. I for one am sorry now that I responded at all, unless you are willing to apologize to the previous person.
    Well they keep saying that and it's the most ridiculous thing I've ever herd

    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Your whole dilemma is YOU refusing to let go of the past and embrace the future. You keep looking backward and wanting it again. That's false hope, and it's more annoying and stupid than half steppin' and deceiving the girl you have now but would leave if the ex farted sweetly in your ear.

    Can't you see you are doing this to YOURSELF? And to the new girl?
    What the heck O.o farting in my ear what are you on? And its not about me wanting it back its about my ex making it seem like she does cause of her trying to ask if I'm over her without me knowing it was her asking
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,282, Reputation: 10853
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    #9

    Oct 2, 2013, 04:29 PM
    May be very harsh to hear

    You poor silly young fool, she is just trying to come between you and the new girl. And you are to dumb to see it. That's what sweet farting in your ear is. Now you know. It doesn't matter what her game is does it? Don't play it, and that's up to YOU.

    Don't blame her for confusing your poor little brain, its you that let her.
    Sinquisitive's Avatar
    Sinquisitive Posts: 27, Reputation: 10
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    #10

    Oct 3, 2013, 02:03 AM
    It sounds a lot like you're not ready for the new relationship you got yourself into. "I don't want to hurt her" is NOT the same thing as "I want to be with her." And honestly, no one deserves to be strung along by someone who is yearning for his ex and is so concerned about his ex that he would consider leaving the new girl for her. You should do the new girl a favor and free her up for a relationship where the guy WANTS to be with HER and isn't concerned with anyone else, ex or not.

    As for your ex, if you're so hung up on her and so concerned with what she is and isn't doing and feeling, why don't you ask her? That way, you'll know for sure whether she wants you back or is interested in keeping in touch with you, and you won't have to spend your time wondering about it.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
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    #11

    Oct 3, 2013, 05:31 AM
    Advice you get here, you may not like, may not agree with, or you may even feel slighted or insulted. Tough beans. You get responses to your question, and like it or not, because you have asked, does not give you any justification to bash those who's responses you don't like.

    Please consider that if you are mature enough to post something about your life, looking for answers, you should be mature enough to realize you will get a variety of answers, some of which you won't like.

    As far as wondering what your 'ex' is thinking. If she's wondering about if you are over her or not, as you've learned through the grapevine, then she also is more likely than not aware that you are now in a new relationship, and have moved on.

    So, the question is more likely whether to see if she wants you back, while at the same time holding on to your new girlfriend, with false pretences, which is a nasty thing to do to anybody when they don't realize they are in 'competition' from another woman- ex or not.

    While your ex plays games with you, you play a waiting game with your new girlfriend, and your new girlfriend still doesn't realize you haven't yet got over your ex, nor does she realize your ex is making enquiries about you.

    It's time to man up. Send your ex an email/text, and ask her out for coffee. Find out what's going on, and if she breaks down and professes great love for you and regret at letting you go, then you'll know where you stand. If she simply wants to know how you are doing, then let her know you have a new love (like she didn't know that already), and are very happy. Don't fish for answers you don't want to hear.

    If a little honesty leaves you confused, depending upon your ex, and your conversation with her, then please do the right thing, and let your new girlfriend know, so she can make a decision as to whether she wants to be involved with you.

    To play both ends against the middle, no matter how discreet you think you are, is a really dishonourable way to treat your new girlfriend.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,282, Reputation: 10853
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    #12

    Oct 3, 2013, 08:22 AM
    Oops! You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Jake2008 again

    Well said!
    chace_don_C's Avatar
    chace_don_C Posts: 53, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Oct 3, 2013, 01:33 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    May be very harsh to hear

    You poor silly young fool, she is just trying to come between you and the new girl. And you are to dumb to see it. That's what sweet farting in your ear is. Now you know. It doesn't matter what her game is does it? Don't play it, and that's up to YOU.

    Don't blame her for confusing your poor little brain, its you that let her.
    how did I let her do anything? And she doesn't even know about the new girl no one does

    Quote Originally Posted by Jake2008 View Post
    Advice you get here, you may not like, may not agree with, or you may even feel slighted or insulted. Tough beans. You get responses to your question, and like it or not, because you have asked, does not give you any justification to bash those who's responses you don't like.

    Please consider that if you are mature enough to post something about your life, looking for answers, you should be mature enough to realize you will get a variety of answers, some of which you won't like.

    As far as wondering what your 'ex' is thinking. If she's wondering about if you are over her or not, as you've learned through the grapevine, then she also is more likely than not aware that you are now in a new relationship, and have moved on.

    So, the question is more likely whether to see if she wants you back, while at the same time holding on to your new girlfriend, with false pretences, which is a nasty thing to do to anybody when they don't realize they are in 'competition' from another woman- ex or not.

    While your ex plays games with you, you play a waiting game with your new girlfriend, and your new girlfriend still doesn't realize you haven't yet got over your ex, nor does she realize your ex is making enquiries about you.

    It's time to man up. Send your ex an email/text, and ask her out for coffee. Find out what's going on, and if she breaks down and professes great love for you and regret at letting you go, then you'll know where you stand. If she simply wants to know how you are doing, then let her know you have a new love (like she didn't know that already), and are very happy. Don't fish for answers you don't want to hear.

    If a little honesty leaves you confused, depending upon your ex, and your conversation with her, then please do the right thing, and let your new girlfriend know, so she can make a decision as to whether or not she wants to be involved with you.

    To play both ends against the middle, no matter how discreet you think you are, is a really dishonourable way to treat your new girlfriend.
    she doesn't know about the new girl and she isn't my girlfriend yet
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,282, Reputation: 10853
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    #14

    Oct 3, 2013, 01:56 PM
    You have been broken up for months, and she hasn't contacted you, yet you assume she wants you back, and is checking up on you.

    You really don't know what's on her mind for sure. Really you know nothing, yet you sure assume and speculate.

    Dude you need facts to make a decision on how you handle your business. Got any?
    chace_don_C's Avatar
    chace_don_C Posts: 53, Reputation: 1
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    #15

    Oct 3, 2013, 02:02 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    You have been broken up for months, and she hasn't contacted you, yet you assume she wants you back, and is checking up on you.

    You really don't know what's on her mind for sure. Really you know nothing, yet you sure assume and speculate.

    Dude you need facts to make a decision on how you handle your business. Got any?
    Well it was her who asked and why would she ask me it on a questions site as an anon if she was just checking up on me? She was clearly trying to hide the fact it was her but it obviously was I know this cause on this site Ask.fm people can ask you stuff anon or not and you can also get notifications if someone has liked one of your answers and I had 2 answers liked and it was her liking them and I just so happen to have a question on there involving her and one of the answers she like was far down in my profile so it was obviously her... that or a massive coincidence which I highly doubt
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #16

    Oct 3, 2013, 02:11 PM
    I don't think this is about the ex or anything she has said or done. This is about you and your inability to let her and the past go. You keep grabbing at air in a desperate attempt at keeping your hopes and dreams afloat. Hopes and dreams that need to be put away like childhood toys. They are a part of the past and you are allowing them to put your future in jeopardy.

    It is time to let the past go. Ignore the ex. Stop caring if she hates your or not. Let your life move forward. Create new dreams and goals to work toward. If you keep focusing on the past you are either going to trip over your own feet or continue running around in circles.

    The female you are currently dating may not be a girlfriend yet, but, if she has any hopes of the relationship becoming 'official', you are not being fair to her if she doesn't know she is in competition with your ex. If you haven't been honest with her about where your thoughts and energies are directed, then you need to be so that she can make an informed decision about dating you.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
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    #17

    Oct 3, 2013, 02:21 PM
    She is an ex for a reason. Man, I hope nobody said that already.

    So I have the perfect solution... let this new girl go so she can stop wasting her time with a wishy-washy guy that really has no clue what he wants at all. Face it, 2 years down the road if you were seeing this girl and the ex came along and said she wanted you back, you'd do it. So, let this new girl go and stop being unfair to her.

    And have fun with the ex... if you get back together, it won't last. It seldom ever works out a second or third time. She's an ex for a reason. Ooops, there I go again.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,282, Reputation: 10853
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    #18

    Oct 3, 2013, 03:15 PM
    So why are you playing mind games instead of talking directly? You both are playing games.
    chace_don_C's Avatar
    chace_don_C Posts: 53, Reputation: 1
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    #19

    Oct 3, 2013, 06:33 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Cat1864 View Post
    I don't think this is about the ex or anything she has said or done. This is about you and your inability to let her and the past go. You keep grabbing at air in a desperate attempt at keeping your hopes and dreams afloat. Hopes and dreams that need to be put away like childhood toys. They are a part of the past and you are allowing them to put your future in jeopardy.

    It is time to let the past go. Ignore the ex. Stop caring if she hates your or not. Let your life move forward. Create new dreams and goals to work toward. If you keep focusing on the past you are either going to trip over your own feet or continue running around in circles.

    The female you are currently dating may not be a girlfriend yet, but, if she has any hopes of the relationship becoming 'official', you are not being fair to her if she doesn't know she is in competition with your ex. If you haven't been honest with her about where your thoughts and energies are directed, then you need to be so that she can make an informed decision about dating you.
    you are wrong so very wrong that's not the situation at all...

    Quote Originally Posted by odinn7 View Post
    She is an ex for a reason. Man, I hope nobody said that already.

    So I have the perfect solution....let this new girl go so she can stop wasting her time with a wishy-washy guy that really has no clue what he wants at all. Face it, 2 years down the road if you were seeing this girl and the ex came along and said she wanted you back, you'd do it. So, let this new girl go and stop being unfair to her.

    And have fun with the ex....if you get back together, it won't last. It seldom ever works out a second or third time. She's an ex for a reason. Ooops, there I go again.
    Quit saying she's an ex for a reason that's a load of crap -__- not trying to be rude but I've herd that enough and its ridiculous and you're being immature like come one now

    Quote Originally Posted by odinn7 View Post
    She is an ex for a reason. Man, I hope nobody said that already.

    So I have the perfect solution....let this new girl go so she can stop wasting her time with a wishy-washy guy that really has no clue what he wants at all. Face it, 2 years down the road if you were seeing this girl and the ex came along and said she wanted you back, you'd do it. So, let this new girl go and stop being unfair to her.

    And have fun with the ex....if you get back together, it won't last. It seldom ever works out a second or third time. She's an ex for a reason. Ooops, there I go again.
    And I'm not being unfair to anyone and no if it was 2 years down the road and I had someone I deffinatley wouldn't take my ex back

    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    So why are you playing mind games instead of talking directly? You both are playing games.
    I'm not playing any games... thanks
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,927, Reputation: 5430
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    #20

    Oct 3, 2013, 06:39 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by chace_don_C View Post
    im not playing any games...thanks
    Then what would you call it?

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