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    dmp55's Avatar
    dmp55 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 25, 2018, 04:21 PM
    Stealing from work
    My now ex husband is stealing from work. Actually, he pretty much always has taken small items, but it is much more now than it was. There are at least 15 items he has taken recently. (he and I still talk and I take care of the dogs while he is working) These items are becoming more and more costly, and he could lose his job. FYI, I left him after 20 years because he is abusive, narcissistic, and just plain controlling. In the past, he was caught stealing from the grocery/department store, but there is no record of it on line. They took him to jail for it.

    Along the same line, his sense of entitlement is immense. I requested at our mediation that I be given my disabled daughter's handicap placard that we kept in his car; he said he threw it away! He did not and is still using it at his place of employment so he won't have to walk as far as the others. Of course, I had it cancelled over a year ago - guess no one ever checks these things.

    To top it off, he claims to be a Christian! He preaches to his co-workers constantly and tells them to think about what Jesus would do - and then he does these things! They all must think he is either wonderful, or could really dislike him because he says whatever he wants and is mean and rude. He is the perfect one who never does anything wrong.

    I feel such confusion and guilt. What would you do? I most likely will stop taking care of the dogs, but it isn't their fault. Fortunately, I don't have to see him when caring for the dogs.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,271, Reputation: 5643
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    #2

    Jul 25, 2018, 06:59 PM
    What would I do? Cut all ties with him of course. Is there a reason you are still communicating with him? 20 years is a long time, but itís time to get on with your life without him in it.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,010, Reputation: 10852
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    #3

    Jul 26, 2018, 05:00 AM
    Why are you feeding his dogs in the first place? It's his responsibility, and you really should be as far from his life as possible. He is an ex you are glad to be rid of so act like it. That's what I would do with no guilt or confusion about it.
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
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    #4

    Jul 27, 2018, 03:23 AM
    "I feel such confusion and guilt."

    Sounds like he's an ex by paperwork only. Recognize you are no longer married and move on. Life is too short to participate in his drama.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,292, Reputation: 7691
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    #5

    Jul 27, 2018, 12:49 PM
    You are an ex. And should be just that.
    Why are you keeping up with everything he is doing, like using the place card

    You stop any and all contact, let him worry about his dogs, and you should hope he gets caught and go to jail

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