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amermonstarsgir · Mar 28, 2009, 08:40 AM

I have been with the same boyfriend for almost 9 years now. We have not gotten married or had kids. He always said when I got out of college we would get married so we could have nice things and not have to worry so much about being young and married. Well I'm getting ready to graduate and he is laid off work now has no thoughts of getting married or anything. We do love each other but fight a lot right now because of him being laid off and money and such. He still says he loves me but I don't feel it at all. Should we stay together? Was he serious before talking about marriage? What should I do?

talaniman · Mar 28, 2009, 09:08 AM

Being unemployed, will definitely change a persons attitude toward life, and bring about a lot of stress.

This hardship will either bring you closer together, or drive you apart, as your having doubts of his sincerity, but don't seem empathetic to his plight.

If you two can't adjust to the life changing circumstances your confronted with, your doomed to be apart.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/addict...ey-334901.html,

Have to add fairness to you, he may not be capable of handling his business, and maybe you should let him fall on his face. Tell him, that, and hope he listens, if not, you have to leave him alone to decide what he wants and how he is going to deal with his situation.

amermonstarsgir · Mar 28, 2009, 09:25 AM

I think you are very right. I will tell him that. I don't understand how if he knows what bills he has why he cannot pay them and he goes and blows his money. I know each month what bills to pay and I always have money saved for emergencies. And especially now the way unemployment is and having less money I would be saving all that I could if I were him. I just don't understand.

liz28 · Mar 28, 2009, 09:34 AM

With today's economy and with people getting laid off and right, it can leave a person feeling depress.

Howeve it takes two to argue. Arguing is useless and it can make you say things out of anger and frustration. The best thing for you to do when this happens is to walk away and cool out. Then talk about things once the situation has calm down and talk about things in a civil matter.

Right now isn't the right time to get marry anyway if things aren't right in the relationship and getting married won't make the problems go away. Your just be husband and wife with problems instead of boyfriend and girlfriend, do you want to start a marriage this way? I wouldn't!

Communication is the key and at this right the two of you are lacking it so first the two of you should try and get that back. If it can't be gotten back than it might be time to leave.