I was with ex for 6 years and we have a child and a house.
He broke up with me 8 weeks ago as he met someone else.
I was devastated, heartbroken, angry... the usual I'm sure.
I moved out with our daughter, found a new place to live and have been doing OK. We fought a lot to start with as I was in shock and very angry. I had a million questions which he answered as best he could but he got angry when we kept going around in circles. He has been with his new girlfriend for the last 8 weeks. He seems happy with her, totally smitten actually, but they are so different nobody sees it lasting. That's neither here nor there though.

We were still seeing each other a lot, he'd call for a chat, we'd text back and forth. I realised last week thought that I have not moved on at all. I still see him as my partner, still feel he has an obligation to put my feelings first (like not talking about his new girlfriend in front of me). He desperatly wants us to remain friends, has said if things don't work out with her we can try again. I was holding out for this but I can't do it to myself anymore.

When I told him not to contact me he said he understood but was sad about it.

He can still see our child of course but I am cutting contact. I'm on day 4 now and finding it easier though he is collecting the child tonight and I'm not sure how to handle it. She is old enough to just go out to the car on her own. No need for him to come in.
However he has stated he doesn't want to be the dad who sits outside blowing the horn and never setting foot inside the house. However in 8 weeks I have been in our previous home (which I still co own) only 3 times. He has been in my new, rented house a number of times. He says he prefers to visit me in my new home.

Anyway, I guess I just need to be strong and keep up the no contact. It's so hard though. I still love him and I miss him. We were good friends before we became a couple and even after we split we tried to remain friends. He really wants to stay friends which I don't understand. He says he njoys my company and we still have "something between us" but he isn't ready for marriage and felt there was something missing from our relationship.

We have been together since we were 19 (both nearly 26 now). Our daughter arrived shortly after we turned 20 so we had to grow up quickly which he was OK with at the time but feels now he has missed out. I do too at times but I didn't feel the need to leave him for a 20 year old party animal with no responsibilities :rolleyes:


Anyway, am I doing the right thing? I feel for my own sake and sanity I need to stop contact but I also worry I am ruining any chance of reconciliation.

Yes, you are doing the right thing. I am glad to see you realize the need to heal yourself rather than wait around for him. It's going to be hard because a kid is involved in this situation but you can do it!

Rome is so right, as right now healing, and being a good mother, is what's important, and getting him back is the last thing you need to worry about now. Get yourself healthy and happy, and see what life has for you.

Thanks all. I am finding No Contact much easier than "being friends". He called for dd last night. She is 5 and a half and I just let her go out to answer the door while I stayed in the other room. He was surprised by this (I heard him say to dd "where's mom" and she said I was in the other room and he said "oh") as usually I open the door when he calls. Then he was dropping her off this morning and I timed my shower to coincide with his arrival (left the door unlocked) so dd came in as did he and dd said "moms in the shower" so dad left.

Normally I'd be a wreck for a few days after his visits. He sent a text yesterday to see if he could have dd last night. I said "what days for this week" and he replied "i was hoping tonight, friday and sunday". I said "ok". Figure it's better that he only has to contact me once with the days he has off rather than 3 times a week.

I only wish I'd done this sooner. :rolleyes: