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    Guidostern's Avatar
    Guidostern Posts: 247, Reputation: 17
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    #1

    Sep 25, 2008, 02:03 PM
    Starting NC officially today.
    Well, me and my girl broke it off on 9/20 officially. I have talked to her almost every day since then. One minute she wants me to be there, and then the next she doesn't. Today she told me that she's already seeing someone else. She hasn't deleted my photos from her myspace or even deleted me as one of her friends. She still has under most of the pics "there's my baby" or "there's my baby and me."

    Because of this, most of my friends don't think it's over. A lot of them think that she's lying to me about seeing someone else because she wants me to feel horrible. Well, anyway, I decided today that I'm starting NC. It's going to be very hard because we've been together for so long and never gone a day without talking to each other... but it's something that I have decided that I have to do.

    I almost broke it within the first five minutes. I'm weak when it comes to her, she's my absolute weakness... I never give in to anyone like I do her... but I have to be strong and go on with my life now. I know that if it is meant to be, then she will return one day.
    BrewCrew0981's Avatar
    BrewCrew0981 Posts: 128, Reputation: 21
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    #2

    Sep 25, 2008, 02:10 PM

    It's going to be rough, real rough. Possibly the hardest thing you'll ever have to do. Whenever you feel like breaking NC, come here and post instead, we are all here to help you out.
    hard_times's Avatar
    hard_times Posts: 27, Reputation: 3
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    #3

    Sep 25, 2008, 02:44 PM

    My break up was around the 8/20, I'm still struggling mate, broke the nc rule today actually big mistake, stay strong and delete all numberss... its not meant to be 95% of relationships don't ever get back together, things will change in your mind soon and your start to come to terms with that.
    BrewCrew0981's Avatar
    BrewCrew0981 Posts: 128, Reputation: 21
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    #4

    Sep 25, 2008, 02:58 PM

    Don't worry about is, hard. We all break NC at one point or another and immediately regret it afterward. I did it. Just have to jump back on and start again.
    snowalps's Avatar
    snowalps Posts: 141, Reputation: 7
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    #5

    Sep 25, 2008, 03:02 PM

    I have learnt that the best thing to be is to keep yourself busy. Feel really sorry for you Guidostern.. but if you may know, most of us are in the same boat...
    I will never understand why it (nc) has to happen if it happens.

    Because it sweeps the very life out of your body.
    Good luck dude.
    snowalps's Avatar
    snowalps Posts: 141, Reputation: 7
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    #6

    Sep 25, 2008, 03:03 PM

    And please keep posting and sharing.. we know we are not alone then.
    hjpan's Avatar
    hjpan Posts: 902, Reputation: 29
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    #7

    Sep 25, 2008, 03:12 PM

    I haven't deleted my ex's pics from my facebook profile..

    waiting until I get more pics of myself and then change it :)

    my ex, on the other hand, wants no fuqing connection with me.
    BrewCrew0981's Avatar
    BrewCrew0981 Posts: 128, Reputation: 21
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    #8

    Sep 25, 2008, 03:13 PM

    That's a good thing, hj. While it sucks now, see it as an easier opportunity for you to move on. No easy urges.
    hjpan's Avatar
    hjpan Posts: 902, Reputation: 29
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    #9

    Sep 25, 2008, 03:21 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by BrewCrew0981 View Post
    That's a good thing, hj. While it sucks now, see it as an easier opportunity for you to move on. No easy urges.

    It also sucks cause she is interested in someone else... and she now parties in college..

    which is normal~

    But... not normal when her parents are spending $35k to $40k/year for her art school when they make less than $40k/year
    Unfortunately, they don't know she's partying, drinking, and screwing around xD


    Whatever about her... if she ends up in the streets of San Francisco and I see her... I ain't stopping.


    Here is a funny part... there is a young girl who says she wants me to bang her..

    although there is a huge age gap xD
    jumpin0503's Avatar
    jumpin0503 Posts: 24, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Sep 25, 2008, 04:24 PM

    I feel your pain, my girlfriend just recently left me about 2 weeks ago for another guy as well. I'm up to day 3 of official hopefully long lasting NC. It's been hard, especially when I work in the same building as the club she is in (we live on a college campus/same dorm floor as well, hard to avoid her forever) and I have to walk by the room, she is usually there today while I'm working but she wasn't today, thankfully because I probably would have broken NC if I saw her. She likely slept through her class because she stays up too late with her new boyfriend, she has already done it a few times. I feel sorry for her but it's her own choice. Turns out her new boy toy made things better for me by staying up with her all night most likely. Oh well.

    Just don't give up. Don't check her myspace/facebook/whatever. I blocked her on AIM, deleted her off my phone and Facebook and made my Facebook private to only friends. I just have to resist the urge to look at hers, but she can't see anything going on in my life now, I'm just living life without her.

    Long story short: Don't give up, I know what you're going through, and if I can potentially do it, I know anybody else can too.
    redwee74's Avatar
    redwee74 Posts: 74, Reputation: 11
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    #11

    Sep 25, 2008, 04:49 PM

    NC is the hardest thing I have ever done. She broke up with me on my birthday, great present, right!! Anyway she called after about three weeks and I answer now right back to square one. So stick with it, helps you believe me. Just don't even think about her myspace because it doesn't mean anything you are just grasping for hope, don't you are setting yourself up for more hurt. Let her go, I know very hard, but you need to worry about you and ONLY YOU. She made her choice let her live with it. Good Luck
    Fredj88's Avatar
    Fredj88 Posts: 45, Reputation: 4
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    #12

    Sep 25, 2008, 05:05 PM

    I hate NC, its so hard, talking to someone every day for 3 years and now poof can't anymore.
    Guidostern's Avatar
    Guidostern Posts: 247, Reputation: 17
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    #13

    Sep 25, 2008, 07:20 PM

    Yeah, right after I wrote this, I broke it... she called me... I just had my soul smashed into a million pieces because of it. She told me that she loves me, but doesn't want to be with me and then turns around and says she misses my touch.

    She told me she went out on a date with a guy last night and they were messing around and that's where she was going tonight too. One of my friends thought she could fix it, so she called her (I told her not to call my ex) and my ex told her that she just couldn't take the pain anymore... she has to move on and instead of laying in bed crying her eyes out, this time she's going to start dating immediately after we broke up... I feel horrible... she's 500 miles away and all I can think of is getting in my truck and driving back down there... I want to hear her voice, I want to feel her touch my face to let me know I'm still alive... like I said, my other friends are like "Oh, she'll be asking you to come back in about a month or so..." I don't even have that false hope anymore...

    Thank God for old friends that are still around here... they are getting me though the tough times... sometimes with beer and whiskey, but they're still trying to help... so anyway, I haven't talked or texted her since then... she sent me my resume via email and that was it.

    Many of you are so right... this is the absolute hardest thing I've ever had to do... she's been a constant in my life for so long, that I can't even think about not talking to her... this is horrible... I feel physically ill right now because of it...
    wikedjuggalo's Avatar
    wikedjuggalo Posts: 406, Reputation: 43
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    #14

    Sep 25, 2008, 07:26 PM

    Man it took a tough conversation to get me to realize things. That stupid saying "I love you but I'm not in love with you" just erks me.

    Best thing you can do is not answer that phone when she calls. Do not search for bits and pieces of information of her new life. Cut all ways of contact some have even gone as far as changing numbers etc. Embrace all the good times and learn from the bad you had with her. As hard as it is to let go do so and you'll be feeling better. Do not give yourself false hope.

    I'd advise you to stay away from alcohol until you're a bit better mentally.
    snowalps's Avatar
    snowalps Posts: 141, Reputation: 7
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    #15

    Sep 25, 2008, 09:28 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by wikedjuggalo View Post
    Man it took a tough convo to get me to realize things. That stupid saying "I love you but I'm not in love with you" just erks me.




    Absolutely strict NC if she dumps you for someone else or if the saying you mentioned applies in your case. Am just cross opined if and where there is a case where she neither dumps you and nor is it the case with the saying "I love you but I'm not in love with you"
    snowalps's Avatar
    snowalps Posts: 141, Reputation: 7
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    #16

    Sep 25, 2008, 09:30 PM

    Guys if what I just mentioned makes sense to even one person I'll be happy!
    Guidostern's Avatar
    Guidostern Posts: 247, Reputation: 17
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    #17

    Sep 26, 2008, 05:40 AM

    Oh, no... she told me that she is still madly in love with me... no, she didn't break it off for another guy... so don't go there again... I know she didn't because I know what happened.

    She called me again last night while I was out with some friends. One of my friends answered the phone for me and talked to her. She asked where I was and they said "He's busy doing something right now, if you need to discuss anything with him, let us know what it is, and we'll tell him." This apparently hurt her... my friend said that she was crying at the end of the phone call... but the ball's no longer in my court... that's her choice, not mine.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #18

    Sep 26, 2008, 05:58 AM

    There is no choice at all. You need to walk away and stay away. Don't even answer her calls or her texts, if anything tell her you no longer wish to talk to her. She made her bed and now she must lie in it
    Guidostern's Avatar
    Guidostern Posts: 247, Reputation: 17
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    #19

    Sep 26, 2008, 06:01 AM

    But then I must remember that I still have to go back there to get my love seat and other stuff... so I will be forced to talk to her at some point.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #20

    Sep 26, 2008, 06:05 AM

    Send 2 friends to get it, or ask her when she won't be there so you can retrieve your things

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