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Kanark · Oct 26, 2011, 10:09 PM

Well I'm sure a few of you remember me and let me start by saying that me and the girl that I currently like are doing well from what I can tell. We had our 2nd date tonight and it went fantastic and ended with a nice kiss. On to the question though.

I know she likes me a good bit just based on her actions and the way she acts around me (Body Language) but the problem here is on my side. I am just extremely, I almost want to use the word paranoid, that she will out of no where let me down and end it. I am almost 100% sure that this stems from my most recent break-up that happened roughly 3 months ago. In summery she ended it very abruptly and out of no where and it seems to still be having adverse effects on me. Any suggestions about how to rid myself of this annoying bull****?

vanheart · Oct 26, 2011, 11:25 PM

Not sure what you are paranoid about.
But if that's affecting potential relationships, then get to the root of it.

Sounds to me that you are worried about what may or not happen.
Sounds fun to me.

Be confident. You had 2 nice dates. Don't blow it.

mmresd · Oct 27, 2011, 11:35 AM

You need to remain single and work on yourself esteem and confidence. Paranoia can only be controlled by yourself, no one else can give you that answer.

talaniman · Oct 27, 2011, 02:53 PM

Don't get carried away by two good dates, and get wrapped up in making a successful relationship. Just enjoy dating, and know you still have a lot of healing to do from the past failures.

You aren't ready for a healthy relationship, nor can you just replace what you lost. So don't latch onto this new person, and have a lot of high hopes, and expectations. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Jake2008 · Oct 28, 2011, 07:46 AM

I think that is common sense and instinct kicking in.

As you develop feelings for this girl, and think about her, and be with her more, it is quite natural to be cautious as a way of protecting yourself.

Think of it as part of a process. When and if this new girl and you move toward a relationship, be honest with her that you need to move slowly because of the last breakup, and be very sure before you make any sort of solid commitment to her. But, there is a risk.

She may be very understanding and relieved that it's not 'her' that is making you seem distant, but, she may also think that you are still not over your ex, and she is a rebound that you are not ready for.

Either way, at some point, if you are to enjoy a loving relationship, accepting that, on its own terms, may be just too early, or too soon for you right now.

It is natural that you would have reservations about any relationship, regardless of the reasons. But, my best advice to you, is, if you think this new girl is worth pursuing, talk to her. Explain your fear, and let her know that you want to move slowly.

vanheart · Oct 28, 2011, 04:15 PM

I agree with Jake.

Kick back, take a chill pill, put aside your fears & have fun.

Once you do that, there won't be paranoia.

Just confidence.

Girls like confident guys.