I'm sure I'll get all the same answers I read about other peoples breaks on here but sometimes it just feels good to write about it.

I am twenty seven and have had about 4 girlfriends in my life, each of them lasting about a year or less.

Three months ago I started chatting with a girl I've known for years but never had the opportunity to talk with. It's an hour and a half long distance relationship. We chatted for a few weeks and decided we would like to talk on the phone. We eventually did and began talking every night for a few hours. This went on for about a month before she decided she wanted to come down and see me. She came down, we walked, went to eat, did a few other things and we kissed later on. That led to sex that weekend. Everything was going great! We felt truly compatible with each other. We couldn't believe the chemistry we were feeling and fell in love really fast. For the next 6 weeks or so we began to see each other once a week and continued our sex life together. We talked about how we like each other so much and would like to be closer so we could see each other more often.

This past weekend she had some Christmas shopping to do with family so she did not make it down here to see me. We had already planned and talked about her coming with me to my parents on Sunday for a family dinner/Christmas gathering. So I told her I would pick her up Sunday early afternoon and she seemed thrilled. On our way to my parents she told me she was nervous and her palms were sweaty. I told her she didn't have to come with me if she feels uncomfortable but she insisted that she wanted to. We went to parents for a few hours and left. I drove her home (30 mins) and on the way home she began to discuss how she is nervous about our relationship and where it is going so fast. She told me that the weekend away from me had her thinking about how she has been neglecting her family and the things she is so use to doing on her weekends. I told her that I don't expect her to change for me and brought up how we had already talked about how this is good that we are distant from each other and how that would have a positive impact on our relationship. The rest of the conversation went fine and we went inside her house and finished the football game. I told her before we went inside that we could continue the talk but she agreed there was no reason to.

I went home later that night and we talked on the phone. We talked a bit more about how she was feeling nervous about us and how things are going great and we can be easy on each other.

The next day we both did our things and she called on her way home from work sounding just as good as always. Shortly into the call she asked if I had thought any more about what we talked about and if I had anything to say that could help her understand why she is feeling the way she is. I wasn't too sure what to say at this point. We talked for a while and she continued to mention how she feels we are moving too fast and she feels nervous about what is happening with us. I tried to find out what was going on and why these feeling have changed so rapidly. Her only answer was that she did not know. I was shocked and unsure what was going on. Just days before we were talking just like any other time and she wanted to know what day I had chosen to be with her and her family for Christmas. Towards the end of the call I could feel that she was trying to say something and she eventually told me that she wanted to take a break. I expressed my feelings for her but told her I would take the break if that's what she wants. We ended with goodbyes and I haven't talked to her since.

I sent her a Facebook message later that night because I felt the talk ended so abruptly and I was uncertain of what was happening. I told her that I know it feels out of the ordinary to have the feelings that we have for each other so quickly and that I am here for her when she wants to talk. She replied with a simple, "thx josh".

I've been trying so hard to stick to the NC rule but it's been very difficult. It's only been two days since our last talk and just a few days before that we were speaking normally. Up until this past Sunday she would send me good morning texts, pictures of herself, and told me she could have really used my help carring her bags on Saturday, blah blah blah... God, so confusing. Anyway, it's been two days and I decided to send her a text. All it said was, "hi, hope yer feeling well!" but no response from her.

All of sudden. Boom! I have this empty feeling like she just deserted me but I can't tell for sure. She has been on FB and myspace and has not removed me as her boyfriend or any pictures of us together.

What should my next step be? The real question I have is this: We never really had an official talk about what is going on. I figured this time away would help us think about how we feel and we could talk about it more.

I need help deciding how to start and discuss this stuff in person to either see how she is doing now or to know for sure that this is over. I am thinking about doing this after Christmas but I may run into her on Saturday night because we have similar interests and will most likely be at the same place.

... and I do believe I feel better about writing this out.

All I can truly say cause you typed so much is:
Dude your scewed.
Sorry that's all I can say. But then I could say more. But then again its 5:00am right now so yeah goodluck. Seeyah!

Yeah, thanks a lot. I know it's long but I got to say that your response wasn't very helpful. Happy Holidays.

Sorry but hay you did write a lot. And I mean a lot but I did read some of it and I can't answer your question but I do try my best to answer. But merry christmas to you!

Your next step should be to stick with NC. Three months is a short time, so taking a break means a break for good. Don't bother contacting her after Christmas.

Around the holidays is when couples break up, not sure why, but an advantage is they can use convenient excuses like "I've been ignoring my family" since Christmas is family time. If she's your age, how often does a 27 year old need to see their family? Doesn't make sense to me.

Things are always great in the beginning, and the chemistry is also very intense. That's the lust, hormones, and everything else that makes up human attraction. It fades after a while though and the real work of maintaining a relationship starts to become apparent. This is where all those things you first were attracted to, become less attractive, and downright annoying. This is where you find out if you work well together without the lust, if you can communicate honestly, and clearly, and if you are both willing to work together.

Another obstacle you had to overcome was the time and distance, that hinders the bonding, but again you both have to work at it. You may handle it for a while, but it did become a bigger deal than it had to, for her at least.

After the lust is over, given the distance between you, setting goals is important to have something to work toward.

Since you had only been seeing each other for a few months, I suspect she had already started to lose the initial intensity of her feelings and didn't see it coming back so decided to end it and see her other options. It happens all the time and accepting it is what we have to do, and go back to what we were doing before we got with our exes.

Respect her wishes, and do your thing, as we do recover over time, and move on.

You had a chance to have fun getting to know some one and now that's over. Life will bring you many more options and opportunities when your ready to deal with them, rest assured.

Thanks for the level headed response. I appreciate it. This morning she sent me a text in reply to my text saying I hope she is doing OK. She was short and simply said, "I am. Thx."

I couldn't resist but I had to send her an email because of how thing just hit a wall and there was no real closure.

I basically said, "I'm not tying to be pushy, please don't take it the wrong way but our communication suddenly hit a brick wall and I'd really like to speak with you again. I don't want to give up on something that we both agreed was so great. You asked for time and I am doing the best I can to give that to you, just assure me we can talk again."

I also asked if she still planned on going to this Christmas party on Saturday because I probably shouldn't go if she is. I don't want to make it uncomfortable for either of us. I simply wished her a nice Christmas and said I miss hearing from her.

I couldn't help it, I had to do it. If I receive no response, should I avoid the party and go NC?

Yes.

Yes! And leave her alone, after this.

This morning I sent her a "Merry Christmas" text. No response. I had to otherwise I wouldn't feel like myself. She still hasn't removed me from FB as her boyfriend. I don't think I will. She wants the break so shell have to do it. Guess that's it from me. Now I must stick to NC.