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Mahshid84 · Aug 3, 2012, 11:47 PM

Hi
I'm seeing a guy for 2 years, honestly I'm in love with him, he loves me too but this isn't enough as you know.
There is a big problem here : He doesn't want to marry but I do. My Mom says if there's no future in this relationship, you have to let it go, but I can't. On the other hand, he says, I would do anything for you to make you happy, but don't want me marry you, because I don't want to. He is so committed, so kind, so caring, so supportive, but he hates marriage. I think he's afraid of that.

I don't know what to do! Do I have to wait or let it go? I'd been in many relationships before and now I know that he's the love of my life. If I give up on him, there's no guarantee that I would find Mr. Right, on the other hand if I wait to see what happens, who knows what will happen...

By the way he's 37 and I'm 29. We both are educated.

f010244 · Aug 3, 2012, 11:54 PM

I married when I was 20, by 25 I was divorced, now I am not so sure that I ever want to marry again, paper does not mean nothing to me.

I say, stick with the guy if he makes you happy. There is not much more you can ask for, but the guy who makes his woman happy.

How important is signing the paper for you? What will it change for you?
Probably not much.

Stay with him, and if ever things go bad, at least you won't have to go to court like I did and fight for you portion of the assets.

Pay attention to your finances, don't give him your every penny, and overall try to keep things 50/50. There will be less drama, if you ever split up.

And if you end up having kids with him, courts will give you child support, regardles of your marital status.

Go for it! Be happy while it lasts. Nobody can guarantee you that if you marry someone else that you will be happily married.

Mahshid84 · Aug 4, 2012, 01:12 AM

Thank You so much. You know, I want to have kids, not out of marriage. I want my kids raise in real family. But as you said nobody could guarantee what's going to happen.
I have to admit that, we fight all the time, we have problems, but our love doesn't let our problems get serious.

f010244 · Aug 4, 2012, 01:18 AM

I understand the need for traditional family, but like I said before paper does not guarantee anything. It is easier to explain to the kids why mom and dad decided not to tie the knot than it is to tell them why mommy and daddy don't get along, even though they are married.

I am 27 now, been there done that, I just have a different view on things than many people. I want to have kids, but don't really want to get married.

talaniman · Aug 4, 2012, 12:38 PM

Have fun while it lasts, but when you find yourself frustrated that things are not moving where you want them, just leave.