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    opti99us's Avatar
    opti99us Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Apr 25, 2006, 12:13 AM
    My situation

    Before marriage I was hving a affair with my uncle's daughter... but we couldn't make it up.. to marriage... and we departed in different way.. after 4 years I got married and she too got marreid... but now she is getting interest on me and asking me to take a trip with her to a hilly resort for 3 days..
    What shold I do... do I accept the offer or reject...
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
    Ultra Member

    Apr 25, 2006, 12:56 AM
    Who is more important to you...
    Your current wife? Or the daughter of your uncle with whom you had an affair with?
    opti99us's Avatar
    opti99us Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Apr 25, 2006, 04:50 AM
    Wife is important... but this girl was a dream for me... and I wann to hv fun with this girl ateast once...
    fredg's Avatar
    fredg Posts: 4,926, Reputation: 674
    Ultra Member

    Apr 25, 2006, 04:54 AM
    You options are:
    Have the affair, and hope your wife never finds out!!
    Or, tell this girl you are married, and cannot mess around with her.
    My suggestion is that you protect your marriage, and respect your wife.
    You didn't say how long you have been married, but I've been married now for 29 yrs to a wonderful woman.
    I would NOT do what you are thinking, because I respect my wife, love her, care for her, and would never want her to find out anything like this... it would kill her; and cause me to be so sorry about it, that I would never get over it.
    This might end your marriage; is it worth it?
    I do wish you the best.
    DJ 'H''s Avatar
    DJ 'H' Posts: 1,109, Reputation: 114
    Ultra Member

    Apr 25, 2006, 05:37 AM
    You can not respect your wife that much if you are thinking about it and by the sounds of it even though you have come hear asking fr our advice, it sounds ike you have already made up your mind.

    I say stick with your wife and leave the past where it is! You wife is what matters - not a girl from a few years ago.
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
    Ultra Member

    Apr 25, 2006, 06:00 AM
    Let this girl be a dream and not reality.
    If you cherish, love and most of all respect your wife you would NOT even dream of doing such hurtful - harmful things to her just so u can have "fun" at least once with her.
    Is it worth losing your wife or even your family over such a thing?

    You're being selfish and thinking about your pleasure only.
    Forget this girl esp that you know she is married too.

    What goes around comes around... always remember that!!
    Chery's Avatar
    Chery Posts: 3,666, Reputation: 698
    Gone, But Not Forgotten

    Apr 25, 2006, 08:20 AM
    You both have had time to grow up since you split up. You married! If you want to put that at risk just for an adventure because she thinks that she wants something different, then please reflect back on the years you invested in your marriage.

    You probably kept in contact with her, and have heard her side of the story, maybe she's not happy, but you'd better make sure that you know what you want before going with her.

    If you don't care for your wife as you should, you should first tell her by explaining that she was second choice, and that you've been secretly waiting for the other one to come back (for what reasons - you only know). Because this is what you'll be doing, you'll be calling it quits with your wife... or do you expect her to stay in the dark, waiting patiently for you to make up your mind as to what you want in life.

    YOU OWE your wife more respect than this, so get off your high horse, your selfish way of thinking, and be straight with your wife first, before going on a trip with someone that will probably dump you once she is reassured that all she had to do was click her fingers and you'll come back after all these years, and don't remember reason you split, after that weekend she'll probably dump you again.

    So, don't think that just one weekend will make all the wonderful things come back, she's probably testing the waters to reassure herself that she's still desired by you and other men before she goes out on her own to meet new people.

    If you're willing to risk all that you've built up in the last four years, just for a fling, go ahead. If not, then tell her to pick on some other shmuck to test the waters and that you are not interested in helping her find out if she's still desirable.

    I sure hope that you come to your senses and consider what all is at risk instead of letting your testosterone and/or ego lead the way to disaster.

    Hope you don't find these words too harsh, but somebody had to wake you up, and I hope this helps you make your choice.

    Cats are curious, but CAUTIOS, you should be the same...
    Depressed in MO's Avatar
    Depressed in MO Posts: 571, Reputation: 94
    Senior Member

    Apr 25, 2006, 09:43 AM
    Honey, doesn't the fact that it is your uncle's daughter mean that it is also your cousin? Isn't that incest?
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
    Uber Member

    Apr 25, 2006, 06:31 PM
    You're both married but not to each other so the two of you have no business taking a trip together to any resort or anywhere else. You each have spouses to be faithful and loyal to. Regardless of how the two of you think you feel about each other you both took marriage vows and have obligations. Remember, the two of you broke up for a reason. Why didn't you two just get married to each other? It didn't work out then so what makes you think it would work out now? Don't do anything that you'll end up regretting.
    maria26's Avatar
    maria26 Posts: 69, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member

    Apr 25, 2006, 11:15 PM
    I agree with depressed in MO... she is your cousin right? If so that is very very WRONG! Not that I am advocating an affair but damn if your going to have one make sure its not family... thats gross!
    DJ 'H''s Avatar
    DJ 'H' Posts: 1,109, Reputation: 114
    Ultra Member

    Apr 26, 2006, 01:28 AM
    Although it is wrong and I could never do it, the law in the UK allows you to marry as cousins. But to be honnest this is not really the point. Cousin or not, he is thinking about cheating on his wife? That is the relevant thing here and he should be rejecting the offer to cheat without hesitation. The fact that he is thinkinh about it and wants to do it, is wrong! I feel so sorry for his wife.

    Oppti99us - put yourself in your wife shoes for a minute and think about how she would feel if she knew of this offerand knew that you were contemplating it - think about how she will feel if you actually go ahead with this. It will destroy her and everything you have had together will be destoyed with it. Is this worth losing - that's what you have t ask yourself? Because you will lose it.

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