Me and this girl been dating for the last 5 years and a half but we don't see each other that much. We are both Vietnamese. I am in the Army and she just finished college and wanted to apply for dental school. Here is the story: We decided to get marry secretly in march 2010 and I left for Korea for my tour. During my mid tour (Jan 2011) me and her ran into some problem with families so she suggest that we took a break from the relationship for her to focus in school and break from the sadness, and things went sour by March 2011 and sometime I treated her like a total jackass. June time came, I came home just in time for her graduation (June 9) but she was pretty much cold to me. We went to celebration dinner with some of her friend and she invited another guy in which my intuition said she and this guy is more than friend. (incident 1) Later, I called her but she didn't pick up so I went to look for her at the bowling alley and I see her in the arm of that guy, I called her again and she just turn it off on me. I decide to walk away but her friend saw me. (incident 2) A week later, I saw her face book conversation with that guy that she confess that she really like him and want to be with him. When I confront her, she suggest divorce. Later that night, she told me that she did like that guy, but they never kiss or anything serious. Later on, she confess that they kisses and he gave her a hickey. And all that happen while I was already back. Long story short, she told me that she break contact with that guy because she still have much feeling for me and still love me a lot. (incident 3) I found in her car his address. She told me that she went to his house one last time to apology. The last 3 week, we spend time together, we have sex etc like normal loving couples. When I asked her why she did all this, she said I hurt her a lot and that she have to find a getaway but when I come back, everything came back to her. I ask her to erase his phone number and Facebook, she refuse and said they are just friend. We have a serious talk, she said she love me a lot but she need some time to explore herself because she have lost herself in the last four year of school. THE END.

Please let me know what you think. Thank you.

You are married, you work through it. If you can't you divorce, but there is no party, and explore, and date others. Maybe she needs time before she get a job and be a wife.

I think you talk, set boundaries of good behavior, and get a time line for meeting expectations for a future. There should be much to catch up on and get reacquainted with each other.

Maybe you married to young, but now is the time to either get this together, or leave it alone. No way would I be put on hold though, and if her exploring was not about "US" forget it.

I had a similar situation. Me and m ex were together for 2 and a half yrs. We had kind of a distant relationship. I met another guy in college and we started liking each other and the guy kissed me while I had a boyfriend. I allowed it to happen because of the problems that were going on between me and my ex. It seems like you and your girl are having problems like this too. You can try giving it a chance and forgive her. But she needs to delete this guy out of her life COMPLETELY! She shouldn't be talking to anyone if she's trying to think about herself.