[eric1361]

My girlfriend of 3 yrs dumped me for the 4 times. She is selfish, controlling and abusive. Every time she dumps me we end up back and it's the same crap. My question is, she told me 3 days ago to never call, write or come to her house. She wanted to know what she should do with what little items are at her house. I said throw them away. She text me saying she's mad at me for making her figure out away to live without me, and again asking me what to do with the stuff I left there, which I made it clear what to do. I haven't responded to either and wondering why she is writing and should I keep not responding? You see I gave 110% in this relationship and she will admit she can only give about 40%. Then wonders why it won't work. I'm not responding because I'm mad, its because I'm tired of it . Please help.

[SAB123]

Your ex sounds just like mine, she broke up with about 6 times. But I would not respond ever. If you respond she might think you guys will get back together.

[fix-what-you-broke]

It looks like she is trying to keep a hold of you in some way, it doesn't sound like she wants to be with you anymore, she knows that you are there so she is testing you to see if you respond... stand your ground, enough is enough

[Sdjosh]

You have 3 years together... that just doesn't go away. She will continue to try and keep you in her life because it is what she knows. The relationship sounds like it wasn't good for either of you.

It sucks but I would go with No contact. It isn't a healthy relationship so why would you want to continue it.

[ceriphante]

Don't respond she doesn't deserve your company my friend, meet someone new and move forwards into a happy relationship rather than let an ex control your future because it sounds like that's what she'd like to do, and it won't be happy for you from what you've explained..

[Sdjosh]

don't respond she doesn't deserve your company my friend, meet someone new and move forwards into a happy relationship rather than let an ex control your future because it sounds like thats what she'd like to do, and it won't be happy for you from what you've explained..

I agree with some of what you say but I wouldn't worry about meeting someone new right now. 3 years can take its tole on you. Get back into your own groove by hanging with your friends... picking up some old hobbies or starting some new ones. Basically getting to know you again.

See how that works.

[Rockabilly1955mama]

Flat out, no.

Yes 3 years can take a big told on you. But you would have to ask yourself when it comes to her..
"Will it get worse?"
"How long will this happen?"
"Will it ever stop?"

But above all, I wish you the best of luck to you.

[diya]

Though I agree with the others' no response idea, yet, for once may be you can call her and tell her "hey, whatever we had was great, but it's no longer the same and I would request u to please stop contacting me. if you do, I will not respond...am just being decent enough to INFORM you" and that's it. Listen to her no more because every relationship is an equal relationship and where one is not happy, then something is amiss, so leave it right there... and look ahead.

[eric1361]

My ex of 3yrs never took a shower with me, never let me see her naked, had sex only at dark after midnight, never have oral sex, got made if I ask to. Wanted me to turn her on but no touching or seeing, wouldn't have a orgasm unless with her toy, said she didn't trust me. She's the best kisser and I suck, I live 30 minutes away and go there 365 days a yr, she comes over 0. if I ask her to she gets mad. If no one is watching TV and I want to watch sports its hell no because she don't like it. If I stick up for her kids then she grounds them, if at a party or gathering she says she doesn't have to stick by me or entertain me, if I call her cell and she's talking to someone in person then she says to text her and she will decide if I should call, or won't call me unless she misses me, lol. She's always right and if I prove her wrong then she will make it a rule so she is right,I go to bed at 10 pm and get up at 3am for work, her kids of 14,16,17 are loud, screaming, slamming doors, if I ask for them to be quite she tells me to get over it. Or go home. She hits, name calls, never sticks up for me, now is she selfish, controlling, abusive, or a nut? I'm no longer there because she dumped me, I really thought it was a joke but this is really her and when I did stick up for myself and said no more then she dumped me.

[rankrank55]

Honestly, she sounds to be abusive, controlling, and manipulative. I would guess that she has her own insecurities that she has not yet dealt with, which can be frustrating and she is taking this frustration out on you. It's probably best your not with her... in my opinion.

[SAB123]

Sounds like she is very insecure and the most selfish person I have ever heard of. I would not walk away, I would run, run very,very fast. And where is the kids dad at is he in the picture. Because she may have some old unresolved issues with him.

[Emland]

What is she? Better off left alone, I think.

[steviebeezie]

I feel sorry for the woman because she clearly has some HUGE problems. That being said, you don't have to suffer her abuse because of her problems. If you love her enough that you'd like to give it a chance, tell her you want to go into therapy together. If she won't do it, then she's not willing to work with you. I'd wish her the best of luck and move on if that's the case. You shouldn't be treated like %^&* and if she really cares, she'll work to change.

[maddi1277]

my ex of 3yrs never took a shower with me, never let me see her naked, had sex only at dark after midnight, never have oral sex, got made if i ask to. wanted me to turn her on but no touching or seeing, wouldnt have a orgasm unless with her toy, said she didnt trust me. shes the best kisser and i suck, i live 30 mins away and go there 365 days a yr, she comes over 0. if i ask her to she gets mad. if no one is watching tv and i want to watch sports its hell no because she dont like it. if i stick up for her kids then she grounds them, if at a party or gathering she says she doesnt have to stick by me or entertain me, if i call her cell and shes talking to someone in person then she says to text her and she will decide if i should call, or wont call me unless she misses me, lol. shes always right and if i prove her wrong then she will make it a rule so she is right,i go to bed at 10 pm and get up at 3am for work, her kids of 14,16,17 are loud, screaming, slamming doors, if i ask for them to be quite she tells me to get over it. or go home. she hits, name calls, never sticks up for me, now is she selfish, controlling, abusive, or a nut? im no longer there because she dumped me, i really thought it was a joke but this is really her and when i did stick up for myself and said no more then she dumped me.

The thing about her not letting you see her could be incurities of her body a lot of girls can only get off if is done by viborator the abusiveness to you could be that she was treated that way in past realtionships I've done the same thing and with her kid she lets it happen because your not the father

[maddi1277]

my girlfriend of 3 yrs dumped me for the 4 times. She is selfish, controlling and abusive. Every time she dumps me we end up back and its the same crap. my question is, she told me 3 days ago to never call, write or come to her house. She wanted to know what she should do with what little items are at her house. i said throw them away. she text me saying shes mad at me for making her figure out away to live without me, and again asking me what to do with the stuff i left there, which i made it clear what to do. i havnt responded to either and wondering why she is writing and should i keep not responding? you see i gave 110% in this relationship and she will admit she can only give about 40%. then wonders why it wont work. im not not responding because im mad, its because im tired of it . please help.

Just never talk to her again it's a one way realtion ship

[steviebeezie]

We all agree that she probably has her reasons--that does not give her the right to be abusive. She needs therapy, badly.

[lmnotok]

Holy*hit, its amazing how you can put up with her for 3 years. SHe is a PSYCHO! Sorry if its too hard, but that's what she really is.

But dude, take this as a happiness. SHe dumped you, how happy you are! Smile please! You are free now, don't even think twice about this woman.

[Skell]

Mentally ill!!

[BbxbLaZiNxJ]

my ex of 3yrs never took a shower with me, never let me see her naked, had sex only at dark after midnight, never have oral sex, got made if i ask to. wanted me to turn her on but no touching or seeing, wouldnt have a orgasm unless with her toy, said she didnt trust me. shes the best kisser and i suck, i live 30 mins away and go there 365 days a yr, she comes over 0. if i ask her to she gets mad. if no one is watching tv and i want to watch sports its hell no because she dont like it. if i stick up for her kids then she grounds them, if at a party or gathering she says she doesnt have to stick by me or entertain me, if i call her cell and shes talking to someone in person then she says to text her and she will decide if i should call, or wont call me unless she misses me, lol. shes always right and if i prove her wrong then she will make it a rule so she is right,i go to bed at 10 pm and get up at 3am for work, her kids of 14,16,17 are loud, screaming, slamming doors, if i ask for them to be quite she tells me to get over it. or go home. she hits, name calls, never sticks up for me, now is she selfish, controlling, abusive, or a nut? im no longer there because she dumped me, i really thought it was a joke but this is really her and when i did stick up for myself and said no more then she dumped me.

Maybe she's a .

[LuvMyMaltipoo]

I think she probably does have insecurities about her body. But... the hitting, name calling, etc. is something you should not stick around for. Maybe she has had an ex who did the same to her and maybe she is taking it out on you because you let her. She is obviously not very open about her emotions (except the ones directed at you). I think she has issues that she must sort out all on her own. There is really nothing you can do in this situation... it will be up to her to change. In the meantime, get your stuff together, you don't deserved to be treated this way and you don't have to put up with the hitting and name calling.