[tski]

I'd like to say this is the classic scenario of liking someone your friends hate but it is about ten times more complicated. I'm at a loss at what to think or do; so your comments as neutral outsiders is much appreciated. It's long; here we go:

A good friend of mine, Matt, had a crush on me for a while. We never dated but we made out one drunken night and I attempted to like him back, but after a few weeks I just wasn't feeling it. I left town for four months and assumed all was settled between us.

I returned home and Matt and I were okay, just friends, but after hanging out and flirting (innocent in my eyes, he always thought it was something more) his crush resurfaced but he would always deny it.

A month later a distant relative, who was meeting for the first time, moved to into town. Matt lets Adam stay at his place until he is settled; he basically takes him under his wing. Adam is also aware of Matt's crush and minor history with me.

Another weekend of drinking; Adam and I end up making out (hmm, recurring theme of alcahol being a cause for trouble...). A few days later he tells Matt because he wants to be honest. Matt basically flips and won't speak to any of us for a few days.

Adam and I didn't think anything of the hook up at first; we were drunk, it happened, nothing more. We begin talking and eventually hanging out, not really telling anyone because Matt is still pissed. I begin to like him.

Adam tells me he likes me too but cannot pursue a relationship because of Matt. We decide to give it time and keep things between us (like when we hang out) private.

Things between Matt and I remained strained; Adam complains Matt confronts him every other day inquiring whether something is going on between us. To make a long story short, Adam lies and says nothing is happening, that he doesn't like me, says I am the one calling him all the time.

When Matt tells me that I am pathetic and weak for falling for Adam, I tell Matt that how Adam acts with me is nothing like the way he talks about me. He's actually the exact opposite. Eventually Matt confronts Adam to ask if he is lying, they get into a huge fight because Adam still will not admit to everything. Adam looks like (or is) a huge liar; I look like a fool for liking a guy who talked poorly of me to my friends.

So where does this leave me? This is why I struggle: I am still attracted to Adam physically, but also really like his emotional side. He and I get along very well-- I see no real problems between us-- but its his relations with others regarding me that kills it.

He lied basically to protect himself and his relationship with Matt, but he said terrible things about me in order to convince Matt he didn't like me. He apologized to me for this, and said what he told me was always his true feelings. And, of course, I believe him.

Am I stupid for still wanting something with Adam? Is it even possible? I don't think a long-term serious relationship would work, but based on our personalities, something casual and uncomplicated would be fun, nice and would work. This situation with Matt, and now my friends who think Adam is a liar and not worth my time, is a barrier.

Thoughts? Fcked up, I know. I wish I could just walk away but I've been single for two years, and while I'm not desperate, I would really like this one to work out. But it seemed doomed from the beginning... :confused:

[chuff]

Sounds like a lot of high school drama with both of them and not worth the time of either.

[talaniman]

Besides being drunk and easy, I think you are not respecting boundaries, and have come between two friends and need to leave them both alone. It can't be healthy if you have to sneak around and lie about it, can it.