[Jenn044]

I am very happy how I was raised by both of my parents, but the one thing I feel injustice about though is they are both very impatient, especially my dad, he can't stand patience to wait for anything and complaining most of the time, like he can't wait for a internet page to load or for the computer to access internet, says that cooking takes up too much time, how he can't wait for retirement that is in 3 years and keeps on complaining whenever the weather is bad, now I am saying all this because I was raised and told by both of my parents that it is good to learn patience and be patient and that you can't have everything suddenly, now I am used to being very patient with things in life but feel that unfairness that my parents, though taught me to be patient but they themselves aren't, and also with complaining, my dad tells me not to complain but he himself complains on almost anything and it is very annoying when he turns on his negativity, what is a good way to discuss about these matters with my parents?

[talaniman]

The best thing is to acknowledge and accept they are MUCH older, and have been through many things in a different way than you have. The world has changed for them, and they have their own way of dealing with it. They were not raised with the new things, or ways of thinking that you were, and its much harder for old dogs to get use to new things. Of course they hold on to the old ways that worked so well for them at the time they were younger, and that is what you must accept, and learn when to be quiet about certain things because they will not change. So why frustrate them even further?

It is just the way of dealing with elders, and youngsters should be patient and just not try to change them, but be as helpful as possible. After all they had to be just as patient with YOU as you grew from child to adult, so now it's YOU who must be patient, as they grow from older adults, to aged elders.

It is easy for us older folks to be impatient when we are frustrated by the new stuff we cannot fully understand. Didn't you get the memo? LOL, they probably said the same things you are saying now about THEIR aging parents, and so your children will say and feel the same about you, as you do about your parents, so just be polite and shut up when they are frustrated, and become impatient, and hope like hell your kids do the same for you.

It is this understanding of the aging process that gives you the patience to deal with your parents through love and respect and not the impatience of your youth. After all someday YOU will be the elder, and how would you want the youth to treat YOU? I think it is such a small thing to understand this, and simply shut up so as not to frustrate them unduly. It is an act of love that you do this for your parents.

[Alty]

We always want our children to be better than we are, that's the dream. We want them to be more polite, more patient, kinder, smarter, more successful, etc. etc.

When you become a parent you will feel the same way, and your kids will say the same about you as you are about your parents.